February 13, 2006 3:25 PM GMT
Yesterday I had the chance to dress fully around my house. My folks were gone, and my nephew was taking the car to do some runnng around. I told him I was going to get all dressed up.
I was on the phone with Karen Brad when he returned. I didn't even bother to change, take off my makeup, etc. He didn't even blink. He didn't care.
Yesterday was a terribly stressful day, as these next few will be. I was calling friends to get some assistance. I told an old college buddy I am TS. He accepted it. He was also surprised!
I will say this - yesterday I was so despondent that I seriously considered not sticking around. What keeps me going is that this has to end some day, and I don't want my daughter growing up without me.
February 13, 2006 3:55 PM GMT
Meredith!!
You sounded fine on the phone & seemed to be in a good mood. What do you mean "not sticking around". Your one of the only real friends I have. If you have to get away you get your ass to my place. Together we can work out any problems we have. My door is allways open to you.
February 13, 2006 3:58 PM GMT
Thanks, girls.
Don't worry - I won't do anything stupid. I'm far too strong a person for that.
I have this maddening itch just underneath my bra strap in back. The woman two terminals down saw me scratching it. Far out!
February 14, 2006 3:04 PM GMT
Once again, I didn't watch my meanings as I wrote that first posting in this thread. What I meant by "not sticking around" was not that I was going to harm myself. I just felt like picking up and going away, leaving it all.
I loved it when I was in Iowa two months back. I had that nice cozy hotel room all to myself. It was wonderful. What I would give for something like that again.
As for coming out more and more, when I was leaving the library yesterday I stopped by the bathroom to put on my lipstick, so I walked back yesterday with some makeup on.
February 14, 2006 5:24 PM GMT
Mere, that itch may be an ingrown hair from the bra strap rubbing, or an inflammed follicle. Times like that we need someone around to look and take care of it.
When I get a place you are welcome to visit, Mere, and dress in anything you like........except my LBD, lol.
February 14, 2006 5:48 PM GMT
I'm already packing my suitcase!
February 14, 2006 9:29 PM GMT
Mere.......you sound fine and good hon, and have come an appreciable distance since we first met..me too...this trial by fire is only to prepare you.......you are strong and also lovely.
hold your head up hon, you are your own person.
Your children think and change also.......they either will love you or they will not.
You will not be loved as much either way if you are unhappy.
your chidren will want you to be happy.....
Be happy........kill the fear......
You are an amazing and wonderful being, do not forget it!
i lost my kids....ok?
You need not.
This is 2006 not 1976.......
you kids will always be your kids...period.
They will understand......
They do know you after all hon....
do what ever is necessary fo your happiness.....and the world will support you......
love and light
bite that bullet, alright?!
Like exhaust pipes and genitals. Every one has there own...
opinion, and thats mine.....
