March 15, 2006 5:14 AM GMT
Realy when you look at it thats got to be the biggest hurdle faced.
No one wants to lose the love of thier family. The biggest fear is that they will reject you. After that who realy matters. Who cares about a doctor, cop or joe blow down the street. The reason we hide from them is because we fear it getting back to the ones we care about.
March 13, 2006 3:39 PM GMT
I did it. My dad now knows.
I will admit that yesterday I had a few drinks to numb this pain I feel. No excuses. While I wasn't bombed, I still should not have done it. My dad was not pleased.
But, at dinner, I could no longer contain it. With tears pouring down my face, I told him that I am a transsexual, that my name is Meredith and I plan to transition. I told him I drank to kill the pain.
He was a bit mad at first. Not because I'm transsexual, but that I didn't tell him sooner. He said "Do you think I'm sort of ogre that you couldn't come to me?" The rest of the night he was in the best mood I've seen him in for weeks. He seemed relieved and thrilled that I made such a step.
The big part is that when this was all out I went and got dressed. Not fully dressed, just tights and a skirt.
My entire family now knows. I told them they could kick me out if they wanted to. They refused. They have accepted me.
I spoke with Karen Brad last night and told her all this. I must have sounded interesting on the phone to her. Hey, if you can't be silly in front of your best friend, who can you be silly in front of?
I am Meredith
Thank you all for your support and sisterhood. I love you. I will always love you.
March 13, 2006 4:23 PM GMT
Finely, I've been sitting on that imformation untill I thought I'd bust. When something so good happens to someone it's hard to keep it to yourself. But it was for Mere to say it not me.
Mere many more positive things will happen if you just let them.
The only thing that seemed odd lastnight was how calm she was. I would have been all hyper.
I'm very happy for you hun.
March 13, 2006 4:27 PM GMT
I seemed calm? I though I was being psycho, as usual.
Thank you. I appreciate what you've done for me.
Oh, and BIG HUGS RIGHT BACK AT YOU!!!!!!!
March 13, 2006 5:03 PM GMT
I'm impressed. And I'm glad. Finally some good news about a father too. But then you did actually say it a couple of weeks ago. That he's a good person.
Good for you, Meredith.
March 13, 2006 6:25 PM GMT
Way to go girl!!!....it must have taken some nerve to tell your dad.But hearin how your family has accepted you has just made me SO happy for you.
Love & xxxxxxxxxxx Anna-Marie
March 13, 2006 8:19 PM GMT
I told my wife today about this, just before we started into one of our little fights. She thought I should have told my dad that I would have mentioned this to him earlier if he was a little more calm these days. I didn't think that would have been the right thing to do, and I'm glad I didn't.
I also gave her little hints that I am going to go to the doctor ASAP to see how to start on hormones. I don't want to wait much longer.
March 13, 2006 8:21 PM GMT
Oh, by the way, I did leave out the fact that I am pregnant with Kendra's baby. I don't think they're ready for that yet.
March 13, 2006 10:00 PM GMT
Uh,, well, yeah...................uh, my swollen ankles are one thing. My dad just doesn't understand this need I have for farm impliments, grapefruit, and barbed wire.
March 13, 2006 10:36 PM GMT
Well done and congratulation Meredith.
Im happy things are going well for you, your posts have been a daily source of inspiration and laughter for me and im so glad you have found acceptance for who you are from your parents.
You are truly Meredith now .. but then you always were xxx
March 14, 2006 12:35 AM GMT
Right now I am more than Meredith.
I am fully dressed, makeup,wig, you name it.
I am Meredith
I AM NOT A FREAK. I AM A PERSON, I AM ME.
I am me
March 14, 2006 4:57 AM GMT
Damn, Meredith, that feeling one gets before you tell someone.....it's like jumping off a high place into deep water. The fear is far worse than logic tells you it should be. I'm so glad your dad/family have proved they do love you. It's not like walking through a door........it's like running the hurdles, one after another down a long stretch.
March 14, 2006 3:33 PM GMT
Now what I need to do is make an appointment to see my regular doctor. I'll have to start those tests before going on HRT. Plus, it will give me time to start saving money.
Now comes the really fun part - telling my elderly great aunt. My folks don't think she's ready for it. Heck, this might kill her! I better make sure I'm in her will.
Not THAT was nice and tacky, wasn't it?
I do feel so much better now. Plus, it's nice to be able to wear a skirt around the house now without fear of being caught.
March 15, 2006 2:51 AM GMT
Mere,
It's wonderful to hear that! Now all the next steps, but atleast that is out of the way now!!!
*hugs*
~Valerie
March 15, 2006 7:26 AM GMT
I want to cry tears of joy Meredith! You make me proud! I also told my mother, that's for later. The response from your dad is beautiful...that's where the tears come from.
March 15, 2006 1:56 PM GMT
Well done Meredith, as Laura said, telling your family probably is the biggest hurdle.
“…it's like jumping off a high place into deep water…”
Good analogy Wendy, that’s exactly how it felt to me too. In fact, more like someone with a fear of heights and deep water…
Not to mention fear of the unknown; you never know how people will take it. Sounds like your dad took it better than mine did, Meredith. Either way it’s a burden lifted.
xx
March 15, 2006 3:03 PM GMT
Thank you all again for your love, sisterhood and support. It does feel nice to be able to be honest. I don't rub it in their faces, mind you, or get obnoxious about it.
My folks weren't too happy to hear about that one friend of mine abandoning me last December. They said "Some sort of Christian she is."
Thanks again. Now all I need to remember is to act a little more "manly" while going to, and being on, my teaching gig. I'd like to live to see my next birthday. People around these parts don't take to us too kindly!
March 15, 2006 3:41 PM GMT
I'd like to be more comfort on the last bit, Mere, but I can't be. In fact I find it harder and harder to prevent what Joni calls FSL (Femme Side Leakage). I have so much fun out with my gg-friend that I'm less than careful about what I say or how I behave. We openly discuss fashion, probably on a level above the average woman, in clothing stores. We discuss colors, jewlery, ensambles and sizes. We discuss fabrics, stitching, cuts and building a wardrobe around interchangable items and colors. Yesteday I started talking about my upcoming hair coloring with someone standing only a few feet away. It's hard to not be yourself. I noticed this the first week at TW, when I was en femme for 8+ days. When I went out en homme I was moving like Wendy. I realized it when I was getting a lot of funny looks on the bus. The real "problem" is I don't care very much any more whether people like how I behave or not. I'm not far from going out my first time in public. I'm starting to try on clothes in public, not overtly but still not hiding it. The hardest part is you don't realize how you look/behave. A number of t-girls have told me they get read as women when 100% in drab. I wish I had comfort to give, Mere, but you are probably going to find it's almost impossible to pretend to be "100% male" any more. Maybe we should start carrying a sharpened metal nail file or a long hat pin, lol.
March 15, 2006 7:45 PM GMT
I am finding it more and more difficult to be male. Moreover, I think some of my students are starting to figure it out. I do need to keep it cool there for the time being.
I love it, though. I can go through my day without this hanging over my head anymore. Even better, my wife can't use this as a threat anymore! I took the wind out of those sails.
March 17, 2006 12:31 PM GMT
I'm really happy for you Mere. That had to be difficult for you. But a least it's done now and it just goes to show that things we fear the most usually turn out okay. You're lucky to have a supportive family. They will be able to help you on your journey to womanhood.
Hugs & kisses,
Monika
March 19, 2006 7:58 PM GMT
Hi Mere
i think everything's been said so i'll just add my congratulations
luv Gab-xx-
