HiAll,

I'm a 41 year old confused TV who has a diagnosis as TS way back in my past.

My wife, who I've been togetrh with for 10 years, knows all about my TS diagnosis and past dressing but is vehemently opposed to me dressing in anyway now.

I've tried to talk to her about it but it just ends up in a row with both of us crying and not getting anywhere. I can't just leave her as I love her too much.

A really good friend of mine on here suggested that I try to be some of the things a girlfriend would be and so I've started slowly to be more than just a husband in the hope that oine day she'll accept me as a friend and I'll properly be able to express myself with her.

I know the answer will probably be, everyone is different, but do any of you have any experience of bringing an opposed SO round to letting their partner express their heartfelt gender?

Love

Lucy x

You probably won't like what I have to say. did she know about your diagnosis, before you got married?.   Its the considered opinion of gender specialist that the only way to cure transgender dysphoria is living in the gender you see yourself in. to quote a famouse proffessor, ''a transgender person is not a man with a mental problem its a woman with a physical deformaty.    If she knew of your condition and it was fully explained to you and you explained it to her, what did she expect.

If she is so opposed to you becoming what you essentially are and prevents you from following what is natural, the love will die anyway and you will resent her     Essentially women marry men,..the macho image of the provider, protector, lover and all that entails.    If she had lesbian tendancies she would have formed a relationship with a natal female.

I gather that when you say your confused, you mean as what to do to maintain your relationship, not confused about your gender as its been diagnosed.    some wives will accept a TV. some with a ''its ok, but not when i'm around'' some will quite enjoy it. most will be repulsed by the idea and paranoid as to where it going to lead, as in your case, going on to transition.   Being TG is not the same as being a TV and the definition of TS, transexual is somone who goes onto undergo treatment to rectify their birth defect, ie on HRT and perhaps even corrective surgery.   Sorry, perhaps thats not what you wanted to hear, big hugs.

Hi Cristine,

I wanted an honest answer and I got one - thank you. I'm not sure what I want other than to keep her in my life somehow. She did knwo all about me befroe we married but i think we both thought that as that was so long ago and I'd not done anythign about it evertythign woudl be ok. I should have known better really.

Lucy xx