July 15, 2002 9:41 PM BST
i write as i got printed out: i took a test to see what was up. this is what i found...
the document read as follows:
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the combined gender identity and transexuality inventory (cogiati) results
your cogiati result value is 285 which means that you fall within the following category:
COGIATI classification FOUR, PROBABLE TRANSEXUAL.
What this means is that the Combined Gender And Transexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially feminine, but with some masculine or androgynous traits. It is very possible that you are a candidate for diagnosis of transexualism. You show a strong degree of gender dysphoria. At the very least, further investigation should be undertaken. Your COGIATI score places you amongst the majority of those diagnosed as transesexuals, the "late onset" transsexual.
Then there was a lot more b u m p h . blah blah. potentially serious, blah blah, determination vital, blah de blah. :o
and so it went on. to have a definition blew my mind. i didnt cry, i laughed!
i am remarkably relaxed about the whole thing, but my friend found out, and wants me to book an immediate consultation with my doctor... etc etc.
well there you go, we all have issues to deal with.
mine are starting all over again!
postings may continue as i feel the need to share...
July 12, 2002 8:44 AM BST
I used to clean windows and do painting, but was careful never to develop muscle mass, as for ages i knew i didnt want that sort of bulk. i work in an office right now, but cant dress there, havent got far enuf down the route to feminise myself. there always seems to be an "issue" to stop me. i want to but always make excuses. well i shaved my chest for the first time in ages last night and my current partner gave me a bj, because i was freshly shaved, it was so much better for me. Electric. I am currently experiencing for the first time support from another person, as i am good friends with a ts, who also has ts friend(s). She supports me, and is helping me to reeducate myself about what is right and proper to do if inside you is busting to get out. i'm ranting on now, - "but life, it aint no ball game" (excuse the far stretched pun)and some of us need to look into a change of perspective on who we are and what we want, maybe repositioning to the place in and state of mind that fits those considerations. <end of lecture/rant/solliloqy/whatever>