Transitioning is a timely thing to go through, and whilst it can seem like the GIC’s are prolonging an already long process, there are usually good reasons. For example, it can take 4 years or more to grow boobs and that’s the length of time that it can take and there’s not a lot anyone can do to speed it up. Facial hair removal takes time too, I’m on laser treatment now and it could take at least 10 months, then its on to electrolysis to remove all the grey hairs that lasering wont get, and that could be another 2 years after that, which is as quick as that can go too, because it takes time for the face to recover from the treatment, and the follicles have to be in the right stage, which is a bit hit and miss at the best of times.
Even though we have all known for sometime that we’re Trans, there is an adjustment that we have to go through from being physically male, to physically female. The important people around us need time to adjust too, and don’t forget that we’re good at hiding our Trans status, so when we do come out, the significant people around us are quite often a long way behind us in our transition, so they will need more time to adjust and catch up with us. Whilst transitioning we exist on a sliding scale between being male and being female, and supporting us through that period is actually the main point of the GI clinics. Helping us to adjust to our transition and support us to understand what we’re going through, and to help us understand ourselves and how we fit in to our new genders is as, or maybe even more important than instigating the physical changes. Yes they control the decisions for surgery and hormones, but that’s to our benefit because in spite of the great length of the time this takes, there are still about 2% of transitioned transsexuals who end up regretting having GRS, and the clinics can’t identify why, or find a way of spotting the ones that will have regrets, so they have to be sure that what they are agreeing to perform on our behalf, is actually most likely to be the right thing for us as an individual to undergo.
It is a long time in transition and it can be frustrating, especially as we may not see immediately why some delays are necessary, but there are a lot of men and a lot of women in this world, and not a lot of them will have changed mid way through. This is our experience, this is unique to us, to have a double perspective on the roles of gender, so we should try and enjoy our transition for all the time it takes, after all there is a lot to get used to and some of it is actually quite good fun.
Although there are a small number of people who revert back after transitioning, it must be extremely difficult for them once they have had surgery - and there was one well known case where the person tried to sue the psychiatrist in charge of his case. It seems to happen when people transition and immediately have their surgery done privately.
There are good reasons why the GIC's insist on a person working in their new gender role for two years (1 year in Scotland) either in a paid capacity or in the voluntary sector and that is to give them time to adapt and see how they interact with society. Hiding away at home and not going out into society does not achieve this.
From the first time that I approached my GP (1972) to my SRS took 7 years in total - fortunately that time has now been reduced these days, but back then it was 4 years from the date of transitioning to when you had your SRS - and back in those days it had to be 4 years in full time paid employment, voluntary sector work didn't count - they wanted to be sure that you could support yourself after transition and not become a drain on the State. Back then there was even more pressure on the NHS about them "wasting" taxpayers money funding these operations than there is today - fortunately they are a little more enlightened these days and realise it does bring a lot more stability to peoples lives in general and the suicide rate after transition and SRS is reduced remarkably.
Who can define transitioning time, its a personal an individual thing, dependant on personal circumstances, health, finances, family and comitments. To me it does'nt just involve the ''Official'' time, the RLE, living the life. From the time of official acceptance, going the NHS route.
There is the turmoil and time facing up to who you should be, getting around to doing something about it. A lot depends on finding the right people to help, then there is their opinons, diagnosis, more time. but your in the process now of transitioning ''officially''.
NHS delays, funding, The NHS is not overcrowded with gender therapists or surgeons on 24/7 standby.
Believe me transition does not ultimately end with SRS. A feeling of elation, mixed with a tinge of guilt and some sadness,a period of mourning, the loss of someone you were, dead and gone. remembering people, family that no longer want anything to do with you.
The final realisation, caught short on a picnic, having to look for a clump of bushes to go and squat in to have a pee, instead of finding a convenient tree. Is that when you realise thats the defining moment when transition has ended????
Different people, different approaches, everyonre is an individual with their own priorities and agendas.
Hi again Erica,
Every single persons transition is unique to themselves. There are many different pathways that we all take to the point of transition - and then afterwards they fan out again as we all take out unique journey's through life. As such, nobody can tell you what to do and any advice given is strictly generic and maybe sound to you a little bit nebulous and vague - it isn't meant to be, but not knowing your personal circumstances in minute detail, it is impossible to give you step by step directions (and even that is not possible as it would be tainted by the advice givers own personal circumstances).
I do know from other people on this group who live in very small towns in northern Ontario, that transitioning can be difficult there as there are many 'rednecks' who view anybody different as targets for bullying. Sometimes transitioning in a larger city is considerably easier as their is more help and support available and in a large city you are more anonymous than in a very small town where everybody knows you. So the first question to ask really is
"Can you manage to move to a large city for your transition??"
You might find a support group for trans people near to you by visiting this web site:-
http://www.gendermosaic.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=33&Itemid=115&lang=en
Here like minded and supportive people would be able to give you personal advice if you could go to meetings etc.
I believe that Canada is generally supportive of trans people and you can get the help that you need from various Gender Identity Clinics there, although you might have to travel to attend one of them (again a benefit of living in a larger city than a small rural town).
Again, I would recommend that you go to a therapist/counsellor who is fully conversant with gender disphoria who can help you discover yourself more fully, this would generally make it easier for you when you approach the medical profession for help.
After seeing a therapist, the next steps would be for you to approach your doctor who would refer you on to a psychiatrist for evaluation of your gender dysphoria and if he or she was satisfied then they would start you off on feminizing hormones to help your transition.
It is a huge step though (more so for older people) and can be expensive as you also need to consider laser/electrolysis treatments to remove facial hair (transitioning can be a nightmare if you still have to shave every single day).
An alarming number of transsexual people (generally acknowledged to be around 40%, but one very recent survey in the UK has put this figure at a staggering 82%) have considered or attempted suicide - so if you ever get really down about your situation, I have included a link to crisis centres in Ontario which you might consider making a note of:-
http://ospn.ca/pages/organizations.html
These people can really help you during any times of crisis, so do please consider them if you ever feel depressed and all alone with this problem.
The main thing is that you have started to explore your inner self instead of repressing it - now you have started taking these small steps into discovering the real you, you have started to lift the burden on yourself. It is never an easy path to take, but if you are transsexual, then it is the only path that you can take.
Take care Erica
Carol xx