I came out to the husband of my BFF last week. I do a lot of hand wringing and second guessing with each person that I come out to. I think that to worry about stuff like that is pretty normal in this process. He was as genuine and welcoming as she was and he sent me this beautiful response to my letter. It was wonderful and it made me cry. I am so very lucky.

I know that there will come a time when I come out that the welcome mat will not be extended and I try to prepare myself for that every step of the way. I have so much work to do, Most of that work needs to be done now. I think we all want to be accepted by our loved ones and peers because we want to feel “normal” for a time in our lives. Part of the work I need to do is accepting that I will never be “normal” and learning that I have to accept and love myself for the person I truly am is the only way to find true acceptance inside my own skin.

I am still living stealth outside my home because of not being out in public yet…that day is coming soon also. Coming out in the small community (2000 people) that I live in will be an interesting time because I know a lot of people here because of having cared for them and their loved ones as one of the local paramedics for a number of years..

People will get to see me in a brand new light…I know I will not be accepted by the majority of the town’s folk here. It is just not in their nature. They are not bad people, they just have a very limited field of vision. There are no shades of gray, only black and white. My coming out will not change that.

 So I keep going, one more small step toward my goal. I can see the image in my mirror changing but she is still way too blurry to see who she really is yet.

 

You may never be 'normal' but that doesn't mean you aren't normal.
: )

well Marissa that says it all,  

 

Your local community know you already as someone who cares for them and is willing to help

Maybe  they have a limited vision   as ONLY  a caring person- thats fine- and a lot better than people who are too busy with their own preoccupations to care for someonelse.

If they are in trouble they rely on people like you to help.. 

 

Your community owe you respect.

I think you might be surprised in the future. Maybe the people in you community put up a face of black and white.

My own experience so far , is that  in transitioning  my perspective of other people and their views has become a lot more tolerant and grey, and certainly less fearful . Its a revelation in many ways , you may well find people open out to you in the future as Marissa,   Donna  XX

Hi Marissa, I had a dream once that I was normal....it frightened the hell out of me! What is our perception of normal? I sooo agree with Madeleine! I would NEVER want to think of myself as "normal" if it were grey, run of the mill, boring, average etc. we are all individuals with unique DNA so I just think I am normal to me as in "being myself" and not conforming to other peoples idea of the word.......Oh, by the way Marissa.....I think you may need a new mirror! xoxo