Robin,
From what I read, you are just like me , and so many others. Any thing I put here are my own thoughts. First, start by working on who you really are. A profissional (therapist) should be your first contact. Let them determine your nest step. This is what they are trained for. And follow all recommendations. Don't do anything on your own, as it could be unhealthy, detrimental, and, or possibly enev fatal. It all takes time, but so worth it. You're young and have a wonderful life ahead. I was 70 when I started this journey, and my only regret is that I wasn't honest with myself a long time ago. I am, by no means, and authority, nor do I try to be. I just know I am now happier and more content than I was for, at least 55 or 60 years of my life.
Bobbi
Bobbi gruetter said:Robin,
From what I read, you are just like me , and so many others. Any thing I put here are my own thoughts. First, start by working on who you really are. A profissional (therapist) should be your first contact. Let them determine your nest step. This is what they are trained for. And follow all recommendations. Don't do anything on your own, as it could be unhealthy, detrimental, and, or possibly enev fatal. It all takes time, but so worth it. You're young and have a wonderful life ahead. I was 70 when I started this journey, and my only regret is that I wasn't honest with myself a long time ago. I am, by no means, and authority, nor do I try to be. I just know I am now happier and more content than I was for, at least 55 or 60 years of my life.
Bobbi
Robin - the way things are going for you just now indicate quite clearly you need help, and | guess that in your situation is your school psychologist. Be as open and honest as you can with her or him. Don't fudge around issues because of embarassment. Psychs have heard it ALL before. In the meantime, crossdressing - try it, I think. you.re not going to cause any harm. As for fear - look ai the way we spell it. F E A R. A False Expecctation Appearing Real!
Amanda Bruce said:Robin - the way things are going for you just now indicate quite clearly you need help, and | guess that in your situation is your school psychologist. Be as open and honest as you can with her or him. Don't fudge around issues because of embarassment. Psychs have heard it ALL before. In the meantime, crossdressing - try it, I think. you.re not going to cause any harm. As for fear - look ai the way we spell it. F E A R. A False Expecctation Appearing Real!
Go buy you lipstick or whatever. SAs are totally used to it - and at worst you canalways use the "It's for my girlfriend" story. However, think you should just be upfront and say I'd Like a lipstick, can yousuggest a color for my skin tone? Keep us posted!
I cannot recommend that you take any specific course, but I will tell you what I did 40 some years ago. I felt like you and I bought panties, bras, and skirts, sweaters and dresses. I am a sculptor so I made very realistic breastforms, and the results is a beautiful life. I feel so good and so free when I walk anywhere out in the public. Over time I also made my body look very feminine which make me feel good anywhere.
My idea is that I will buy anything from anyone because I am certain that this sales clerk is not going to terminate me because I as a guy am buying a dress to wear. Have no fear and it gives much joy. Talk to as many reasonable people as you can, give a lot of thought as to where you are going and in the end know and be true to yourself.
Jacqueline
Hi Robin.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm 24 and have come to the realisation that I want to be a woman. I have a girlfriend and 2 children and my parents aswell. I have tried telling my mum and my girlfriend, my mum was somewhat shocked/surprised and was curious about how it worked. My girlfriend seemed the same when I told her but after an hour it sunk in and she became really angry, rejectful and upset. This caused me to over the following days retreat against my original honesty, things were really rocky for a while, she tried taking me shopping for guys clothes saying "Maybe it's because you haven't bought any new clothes for 6 years" but the whole time I was there I was staring at the women's clothing section with an intense longing.
I even started shaving my legs and other areas of "man hair" but this only made things worse and since then I have stopped doing that.
I quite frequently take the time to go looking around clothing shops and at make-up sections. I have quite a few excuses in mind such as "I'm shopping for my disabled sister" or "I'm a make-up artist" or a "cosplayer" in need of make up. I've never had to use them, but I feel more at ease having some excuses when I go out shopping.
I actually have a small collection of clothes and make-up that I hide in the back of my car, under the spare wheel compartment. I have actually recently started getting "woman-ed up" in disabled toilets in the shopping center and going shopping as Emily. I feel horrendously self conscious when I do, but I also feel amazing at the same time.
The worst part being that my figure is nothing of woman yet, I'm overweight, quite large and very hairy. But I enjoy dressing as a woman so much I just can't help myself.
I'm in no way an example to follow as I feel like I've started this journey off completely wrong already. But I'm hoping you take something out of what I've said. I'm only really just starting out, most people here will have waaaaay more experience and better advice than me. But all I want you to know is:
You are NOT alone...
There is no "right" and "wrong" way to deal with this...
Love yourself (the current inner self as the outer doesn't reflect you yet) and others will follow.
Hope you're okay hun.
- EmJay
Robin, right now you are at the top of a rollercoaster. Heady with the adventure, and the possibbilities of the future.
You feel free. Right now. However - and perhaps you do not want to know this - reality willcome crashing in and say
"Robin - how do we integrate this passion into real life." Here, dear girl, is the foundation for your future. Slow. Sloow.
Draw back from the brink of fantasy. As I said before, you really DO need help - profesional help. Make that your priority. Pleas slow down and take care.
Hugs, Amanda
Hi Robin,
First of all, I think you're really brave to post on here. It's not an easy conversation to have, or to start, so good for you and more power to you for being strong and starting the conversation.
I would like to just give you my opinion on stuff - and please understand that this is only my opinion, I'm not a therapist or anything like that - but I think a lot of the hurt and unhappiness that people feel is due to pressures that society puts on men to act and behave in certain ways, and shaming pressures against certain other ways.
I truly believe that a man who goes into a makeup store and buys eyeliner for the first time is just as brave as, if not more brave than, a soldier fighting in a war. It's really really hard to go against all the pressures that society places on us and to go against the social norms that our friends and family impose on us is very very difficult.
But you have to start on this journey, you have to find out who YOU really are - and that may lead to a lot of different places. It may just lead back to you being a different sort of male person who is comfortable with their feminine aspects, or it could lead to full transitioning - I don't claim to speak to your experience, and nobody can - except, maybe a therapist. But you can do a lot on your own. The MOST IMPORTANT THING is that YOU love YOURSELF. So don't let ANYBODY tell you what to do - not the guys you know, not your family, not the people on this forum, the most important thing is YOU. You need to do what feels right for you, and you need to maybe figure out what that is - it's OK if you don't know yet. It's all part of the journey through life. But don't let ANYBODY, straight, gay, bi or trans bully or push you in any direction you aren't comfortable with. This is about finding YOUR path, and the only person who can decide what direction to take is you.
It might be hard for people around you, but they will learn to deal with it. People who love you will STILL love you, because that's what love is - it's not about judging or control, it's about giving a person your support.
You can go your own way! Don't let ANYBODY bully you. Do what you feel is right, and those people who are worth having in your life WILL support you.
Love and light,
Alice
Hi Robin
Sex and Gender are not the same thing and being attracted to one or the other or both sexes isn't really an indicator of how you see yourself.
What you've talked about isn't uncommon, in fact its not far off what I went and am going through. I was bashing myself up a little while ago and then realised it was just more important to be who i felt at the time. Personally I like the benifits of both genders and feel no desire to switch either way (although I've had similar dreams of which the most recent was a vampire that turned me into a woman....).
Still at my core, I'm both male and female and enjoy the flexibility to express as both (no I'm not intersexed).
A number of the other people have suggested you seek help and I'd agree with conferring with a professional but I also know thye will try to put you in particular boxes (something I always had troubles with).