September 17, 2008 1:18 AM BST
WynonnaRose--
Hold up a sec, hon--
Don't make me go all Dr. Laura on you!
1. We all want the best for you, and that means doing things right. What those who've gone on with SRS (or at least, have examined the issues) are trying to tell you is that some SRS docs won't work with a botched job down there. You don't want that, really.
2. I'm a Navy Vet--been there, done that, survived Great Lakes RTC and SSC, as well as ship duty. I went through all the scare tactics that sick minds can produce. Those of us who are where we are tell people to THINK for good reason, dear. We've gone where you're looking and frankly, it shouldn't be entered into lightly or hastily,
because it is forever once done.
3. Aversion therapy is another sick joke. Don't go there with me, missy--or I'll make you stay after class and clean the erasers.
4. It is true you might have to still take a graft during SRS. But at least give your doc a fighting chance.
5. Guess what, hon?
I can't afford the transition surgery either. Not that I want it that bad; I prefer to remain Non-Op for now because I can pass. Someday, I might finish the job. But if I can live pretty much as a woman now, why spend money I don't have for a Neo-Vagina that I don't need to be the woman I am?
6. Are you still in a relationship with that woman who wants you to be who you're not? I've already told you my thoughts, as have a number of people here. If you're going to transition, find someone who'll help you--not hinder you.
7. Finally--chill out. Nobody, but NOBODY here is telling you to NOT transition. What we ARE telling you is that there is an order to do it in, and that it's gonna be tougher sledding to find an easy way around it than to follow it.
I'm NOT a trained gender therapist--but I AM a trained counselor, with enough classes in human gender/sexuality to give some advice when asked. And since you posted this, you asked for advice. I--and everyone else--are trying to give advice to you...if you'll take it.
Dr. Mina Sakura
September 16, 2008 11:48 PM BST
Wynonna no-one is telling you not to transition. Probably what the likes of Marsha and myself would want for you is to do it right.
If you are thinking of an orchi you really do need to look into it more, in particular you need specific instructions from your chosen SRS surgeon on how it should best be done.
Please don’t be offended by this, but what you’ve said about SRS and the need for donor material is completely incorrect. You need to research that a bit more, and choose a surgeon BEFORE you go ahead and have an orchi. You probably won’t need a skin graft if you choose your surgeon wisely, and follow his instructions. Different surgeons use different methods these days.
As an example, I went to Dr Suporn. He does not do penile inversion. With his consistently brilliantly results he does not require his patients to be “hung like a horse”. Patients of his needing skin grafts outside the “donor area” are EXTREMELY rare, almost non-existent. He can achieve vaginal depth of 5 – 7 inches on patients with a micro-penis. He does however require sufficient scrotal tissue and will refuse to perform surgery on anyone who has had an orchi done the wrong way, as may several other surgeons. Seven inches or more depth is quite usual for his patients. If you think that’s far more than is necessary, it’s not. M2F vaginas do not quite behave like a natal female’s, they do not stretch quite the same when sexually aroused, there is no cervix at the end which has some “give” when pushed. A vaginal depth of anything less than 5 inches I would consider to be wholly unsatisfactory. Don’t settle for anything less. None of this may be of any importance to you, but please do not underestimate the need for a good SRS result. When you have a vagina, you will feel a whole lot differently about it than you appear to think at the moment.
There is no need to rush into doing things blindly and ending up with a mutilated body or changing your mind further down the line and living as a man without balls, which by the way in my opinion is NOT the worst case scenario.
At the end of the day I don’t think you will particularly benefit from having an orchi. I found anti-androgens to be totally unnecessary anyway. Estrogen alone will lower your testo levels, in my case it was virtually down to nil. We are a similar age. Save your money and put it towards the best possible SRS surgeon you can find.
If you do things right, transitioning can turn your life round into something truly wonderful. But you have to do it right.
Good luck.
xx
September 17, 2008 6:13 AM BST
Wynonna,
You are getting some good advice here from people I respect for their knowledge of such things. Some of our best. We are not the enemy. We are your sisters and brothers and friends and we speak to you with the same concern for your well-being.
I have over 400 hrs of clinical contact with patients at one of the worlds LEADING burn centers. I'm a nurse and a biologist and a student of Brain sex and gender. Human tissue does not behave the way you seem to think it does. It can be stretched and manipulated. Now they are growing entire organs from a patient's own tissue for self-transplant. They are growing artificial vaginas and penises on animals. Not being open to the possibilities may deny you something that will be very important to you later on.
A gender therapist does not only help you find out if you are TS or not and prove it to a surgeon. They can help you prepare to deal with the reality of post-transition living. I haven't met one of us yet that doesn't have issues from our life before. My ggf is totally accepting of me but it doesn't mean that there are not issues we need to address.
You have the opportunity here to get information and opinions that would take years to find on your own. You don't have to live by what others tell you, but It's probably a good idea to consider that they may be right. Don't let people push you into another box or jump in yourself. Take a little time before taking an irreversible step. Isn't your life worth the effort?