Ever been lost for a verbal reposte, only to think of a great line later.

Jack Dee live at the Apollo, when he recieved a text at the end of the show which read ''Jack that suit makes you look like a pimp''
Jack replied, ''I know, your wife helped pay for it''

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill ''You sir are exceedingly drunk''
Churchill ''And you madam are exceedingingly ugly, but I will be sober in the morning''

Admiral Nimitz of the American fleet during the last war signaled Lord Louie Mountbatten How does it feel to be the second biggest Navy in the world''
Louie Mountbatten '' How does it feel to be second best''

Circa 2005 Cristine Shye, to an admirer, ''What sleep with you!!! the very thought has given me a soft on which will probably make me impotent for six months'''

For me - I usually can do a quick reply - maybe not memorable but effective (I hope). My mother was great at rehashing a conversation an hour or so afterwards. Being just a kid at the time - I kept my mouth shut.
hugs
Gracie

some guy shouted to me in a mopcking way "my mate fansies you!" i replied...

"I wouldnt want to be disappointed, after all, If i had a bigger dick it would be such a disappointment."

I had this cheap customer recently who when I arrived started asking me or really telling me how long I had worked for them. When he said you have been here three years I said no sir only two, idiot wanted to argue about it, I had the date right in my hands. Then he said this year seemed buggier than before, seeing where this conversation was going I decided to nip it in the bud and told him " You have a telephone and my phone number is the same, you could have called but you didn't." That ended the conversation and I didn't hear another word out of his mouth.

Hugs,
Marsha

Just the other day my truck broke down at work. As they were putting it on the flat bed tow truck,my super walks out to me an says "truck trouble" I replied "naw just dint fell like driving it home today". He turned an walked away. huggs Jenn.

An ex once accused me of being a cheap whore. To which I replied - not so cheap you can afford me! And he hit me. Not always a good idea to have a ready reply. It didn't do much damage though, I was swaying on my heels. But then it's the thought that counts.

It doesnt matter what youre replying to the best put down ive ever heard, and its one I like to use, is this

You look down at the guys dick and say in am amazed tone

"hey, that looks like a dick, only smaller!"

Some of you my know this story as i've told it before. A 60+ ta comes up to me and asks "Are you looking for dick darling" I looked down at my lap and back at him and said "No I got 1."