The following article fascinated me as I had lived in 'stealth' mode for over 30 years:-
http://transformationministry.org/2012/04/14/going-stealth/

My reasons were mainly two fold:-
1.  I had fought hard to become the person I am (a normal everyday woman) and my past was nobody else's business other than my own.

2.  I have run two successful businesses, which provided me with the wherewithall to pay my mortgage, put food on my table and to provide life's little luxuries - and both of them depended heavily on me just being accepted by society as just another ordinary woman.

Recently though, I have become more active in the trans community (I am now semi-retired and my mortgage has been paid off etc) and I have come out to some very close and dear friends.  Another friend asked me once about why I was doing this (see http://caroluren.blogspot.co.uk/p/why-i-created-this-blog.html ) as she thought people might view it as a second transitition - from woman to transsexual and the reasons why I was doing it are explained in that blog.

I would be interested in your views though on how people regard going in 'stealth' mode in this more modern and liberated society.

This post was edited by Former Member at June 3, 2012 2:34 AM BST

First of all Carol I'm surprised that there haven't been any posts in reply to your original one but here are my thoughts as someone just at an early stage in their transition journey. At first I was determined to transition to the point where I could eventually live and work in stealth as the woman I've always felt myself to be but only latterly facing up to and taking action to become. However, as I've been out and at least working full time as a woman for a year now I've come to the realisation that: 1) this may never be fully realised; and, 2) why should I have to anyway. In relation to 1) I know that as a 6' tall slim woman I am always going to get that extra glance. OK I may not be read every time but it will always eventually happen. So do I do more and more to minimise that possibility or accept me as I am and hopefully with the cooperation of the GIC and a surgeon change the things about myself that I feel are needed to be my true self and hope that society can eventually have a broader definition of femininity. This not only has the capacity to benefit trans folk but also the majority of genetic women who also fail to achieve the ridiculous and largely unattainable ideals which the media, fashion and cosmetics industries construct.

Thanks for replying Nell - and I can appreciate the difficulties that you must face.  Things were much more difficult when I transitioned many years ago (no support networks, noo computers, no internet etc) and even many doctors knew very little about the subject - but were easier in many ways also as  very few people had made the change back then, so we were more of a rareity that not many people knew even existed, let alone met on the high street. On the other hand, God help you if the newspapaers ever discovered you as you would have been instant front page news and the subject of a very 'juicey' story on the front page.

However, I was quite lucky in that I was small (for a man) at just 5'6" tall and a size 12 dress size (in those days) and small hands and feet so was able to merge successfully into the background.

Oh dear Carol I hope I wasn't coming across as moaning that I have difficulties. Despite being 6' and slim (12 to 14) the shall we say zeitgeist today means that I don't see these as difficulties. If anything they've been liberating - I realised this quite early on after coming out and came to the conclusion that I can truly be who I want to be and not worry about being read. For me the real heroines are women like yourself who stood up decades ago and got the medical establishment to help. The fact that I could go into my GP and get a diagnosis for gender dysphoria and then a referral to a GIC so easily is down to all those who have had the corage to go before me and I for one acknowledge that that is a debt of gratitude I owe. So to return to your original post I can't see me ever seeing stealth as something which is necessary today. And by the way thanks for all the good work you do on the site. I've not posted much yet but have read a lot and your views are always thought provoking, balanced and wise. Best wishes, Nell

This post was edited by Nell S at July 27, 2012 6:27 AM BST