I know. I know and fully accept that nobody here will support, promote or uphold self-medication as being right. But I sit here, in a silk, gold nightshirt, blonde asymmetric bob and deep red lipstick, and look at the sober woman that returns my gaze within the mirror on the dressing table. I know, but i want to experience and be more. So where do I go now? Has anyone sought the need for medical conviction (I know that you cannot tell me so) and has anyone trialled something to seek comprehension when the answer was already pre-determined? A month's worth of something expensive to achieve a life expansive..

Can you understand when Female Hormones first enter your body that there was already a place for them, and that they fill a need? Can you determine within a short time that a course (of action) was the right decision, and realistically having understood this can you really expect to relinquish their spirit.

Once an infrequent social smoker - long time ago know, and never a taker of recreational drugs not even cannabis at Glastonbury, ans so why on earth the desire and need to experiment now?

You know, I know but I don't expect you to tell, encourage or condone. But you can comment if you wish.

Rachel x 

Hi Rachel,

               I feel for you on this . Just to say from my own experience Lucy is right on all these points, Please see your GP as soon as possible.

I admit I self medicated in the past , and have been on hormones for 2and half years , last  2 years under medical supervision and GP. Rights and wrongs are part of a transgendered life  , call it Rites of Passage if you like. 

Regarding Seeking  Medical conviction, it s that Old Chestnut , see a GP first and dont spend too much time on this otherwise .

[ Where is that tape measure to measure my  finger ratios,  etc ....brain development , DES Sons ..

All the doctors I have seen have been great and understanding , just tell them the truth and engage with them.

It really does help as Lucy says.

Also consider that registering with your GP as Transgendered means that there is a way for other people in your life to be assisted  who may have difficulties and help if you transition. My long term partner said she needed a Third Party .

No one should suffer in silence

As for effects , etc   ... we are all different and its for you . 

Just a note you say that you never took recreational drugs etc .. The same for me , i never smoked . Taking Hormones in order to transition is different and very fundamental. Keep healthy

I have always considered myself Health conscious and kept fit  did lots of exercise, never drank [excessively] . Taking hormones I still feel healthy , but the major thing is I FEEL more TOGETHER as Whole if that makes any sense.

. It does not happen overnight .

 If I contrast myself before hormones and now , the major difference is that now I am more engaged with life and communicating with people more open. Before  I was in the "Locked in state" [ see Emma gee recent post] .

in a way Hormones are an enabler , they put you in a different mental position to see life so it may be unsettling  and new ,but if it is right for you you will feel it and can decide .

 I always remember one of my GPs saying  "Well Donna if it feels right it must right !  "

Best of Luck Rachel , I think you will be alright  ;-)

Rachel, as the girls mentioned above, it is all or nothing...hormones are not play toys that you put aside when you're satisifed for the day.  That said, once using them, you will find a clarity in your life like you've never experienced and virtually all the male angst, anger, anxiety and all will melt away.  But you also will be the SAME person you were prior to beginning.  

So yes, do give it very careful consideration...do not rush into things and think that taking more will get you "there" faster as your body will only use what it can use, no more, no less.  And there have been plenty of girls who lost their lives by taking too much without medical supervision by being impatient and taking huge doses...

Best wishes always!

Traci xoxo

Rachael - I think our friends who have posted have got it right.  On a personal level, I can -to a degree - empathise with your feelings about this.  However, with my professional hat on, follow your head on this, not your heart.  See your GP.  Make sure he  or she understands your situation.  I'm pretty certain that if you can demonstrate a genuine committment to going down this route, you will be well supported.  Hormones are not things t try out 'just to see' Respectyour body!