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Its a slow learning process , and you learn by putting yourself out . It initially was a case of well outside your own boxed comfort zone, but theres a comfort now with being myself. Still plenty pf work to do though, I am a work in progress, it s major and long term
Got out of work early as I started very early , boss had left before me , so I felt justified in leaving slightly after. Speaking about work , [I will have to write about this some time later] as john lydon sang i could be right I could be wrong .. let the world rise with you . I just follow simple rules I am happy with and get on with the work. Got rid of a lot of the mental work expectation hang ups in the process. Maybe its Biochemical Hormonal, I am not complaining now. ..Back to today , went for a quick shop as my flat is in the town centre, before closing time. Tried on a few things , some Autumnal things are appearing , and I like the rich browns orangey purply mixes. There was a nice loose wool Knit long open top I liked , lovely colours and very soft. but the neck collar just didnt fit or feel right . I talked to the shop assistant who had kindly kept the shop open longer for me to try things out . I tried a dark blue top , which was a bit flouncy and had a collar. It just felt right . then there was a tighter stretchy top , I thought why not try it . No just would fit and I did not feel comfortable. The shop assistant said "If you buy it and it does not feel right , you wont wear it "..Simple but true. I bought the blue top."See you again , I waved goodbye" and walked back to the flat. I am happy with "my style", its a bit flouncy and airy ,long skirts , full blouses , though my hair is a bit out of control at the moment. I like to keep healthy . I dont tend to wear much make up , my skin tends to burn easily and get red , so I just put on a lot of moisturizer. As I was walking , I remembered I had decided not to wear my glasses. I am desperately short sighted [ and old enough to be on Varifocals ].Eye contact is a funny random thing, and if you are Transgendered Chances are that you will com across a variety of encounters . I have to say there are quite few "Image conscious " ladies in the town where I live, and I passed one such lady . I did not have her style and GG attributes , but in her way she did not look comfortable to me. I got that eye contact thing and as we passed.
--Are you ? somethings different, I am superior to you ... Yes I am ,maybe , I dont judge not my game , I am happy with myself ,smile and walk on. Any way I have not got my glasses on
