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  • 28 Aug 2018
    Hey y'all! I do not recall if i mentioned this before, but justvabout a year ago (!), i was fired from my job at a well known mostly women's department store. Reason is not important, but i did post a few times how another TG woman, who did not pass at all, recognized that i was TG as well, and she became an appendage to me. So much so that co-workers who initially saw me as female, discovered i was TG. In short, it became a very unhappy place for me to work. So kind of a blessing in disguise, as my new job is so much easier on me as there is no question to my gender. Strange that when i lived in Massachusetts, i also worked at a woman's store, and half the women accepted me. But MA, northeast in general, is accepting of LGBTQ ppl, where in the South, i live in SC now, it is not so accepting. having an enlightened population is comforting. Here in South Carolina, I feel like I'm walking on eggs part of the time. But all in all, I'm a little happier.
    147 Posted by robin w
  • By robin w
    Hey y'all! I do not recall if i mentioned this before, but justvabout a year ago (!), i was fired from my job at a well known mostly women's department store. Reason is not important, but i did post a few times how another TG woman, who did not pass at all, recognized that i was TG as well, and she became an appendage to me. So much so that co-workers who initially saw me as female, discovered i was TG. In short, it became a very unhappy place for me to work. So kind of a blessing in disguise, as my new job is so much easier on me as there is no question to my gender. Strange that when i lived in Massachusetts, i also worked at a woman's store, and half the women accepted me. But MA, northeast in general, is accepting of LGBTQ ppl, where in the South, i live in SC now, it is not so accepting. having an enlightened population is comforting. Here in South Carolina, I feel like I'm walking on eggs part of the time. But all in all, I'm a little happier.
    Aug 28, 2018 147
  • 16 Aug 2018
    Hey Tomorrow we move home. I am surrounded by the clutter of life. The wardrobes that I have hidden within are now dismantled, gone. The attic is empty and devoid of carefully packaged garment boxes. Nooks and crannies capable of discretion are exposed and swept bare. The tiled bathroom remains, the place where the relaxed and released expression of a woman has been displayed most graphically. The ceramic counterpane of a softer self. Miss will miss this place. It was here that I first photographed and dared share Rachel with others, from here that I first opened up and understood what I am. As I haven't walked out fully dressed ever, there is anxiety, frustration and loneliness here too. Time to go now. Rachel x
    114 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • Hey Tomorrow we move home. I am surrounded by the clutter of life. The wardrobes that I have hidden within are now dismantled, gone. The attic is empty and devoid of carefully packaged garment boxes. Nooks and crannies capable of discretion are exposed and swept bare. The tiled bathroom remains, the place where the relaxed and released expression of a woman has been displayed most graphically. The ceramic counterpane of a softer self. Miss will miss this place. It was here that I first photographed and dared share Rachel with others, from here that I first opened up and understood what I am. As I haven't walked out fully dressed ever, there is anxiety, frustration and loneliness here too. Time to go now. Rachel x
    Aug 16, 2018 114
  • 31 May 2018
    as an infrequent visitor to GS these months, i have some final thoughts on bottom surgery. mostly for those transitioning late in life, like me. ill hang around a bit longer if y'all have questions or comments. this may be my last post. while transitioning, before surgery, i met a 19 yo mtf transitioning. i was quite jealous bc she was going to experience most of what i did not, transitioning at an early age. she was/is quite beautiful, and have kind of lost contact with her, despite having mutual friends. She will go thru her twenties with so much to learn, and become a woman. anyway, and maybe this has a lot to do with my anxiety and depression, but i dont really really feel like a female, mostly like an imposter. i am a trans-female to be accurate. somewhere inbetween, with a foot in neither manhood nor womanhood. there is a yoga practice coming up where the movement is slow, and each woman is sketched by a female artist who "emphasizes the beauty of the female form." i am too scared to go to this, as i fear she will notice i am not very female in form. just a thin, straight body. with largish shoulders. so i wont go. just try to becrealistic on how you may feel after this surgery. i hated my male tackle, and was excited to get rid of its horribleness. but now i wonder if it was all necessary. just think about it before you decide. think about it a lot. best, robin
    272 Posted by robin w
  • By robin w
    as an infrequent visitor to GS these months, i have some final thoughts on bottom surgery. mostly for those transitioning late in life, like me. ill hang around a bit longer if y'all have questions or comments. this may be my last post. while transitioning, before surgery, i met a 19 yo mtf transitioning. i was quite jealous bc she was going to experience most of what i did not, transitioning at an early age. she was/is quite beautiful, and have kind of lost contact with her, despite having mutual friends. She will go thru her twenties with so much to learn, and become a woman. anyway, and maybe this has a lot to do with my anxiety and depression, but i dont really really feel like a female, mostly like an imposter. i am a trans-female to be accurate. somewhere inbetween, with a foot in neither manhood nor womanhood. there is a yoga practice coming up where the movement is slow, and each woman is sketched by a female artist who "emphasizes the beauty of the female form." i am too scared to go to this, as i fear she will notice i am not very female in form. just a thin, straight body. with largish shoulders. so i wont go. just try to becrealistic on how you may feel after this surgery. i hated my male tackle, and was excited to get rid of its horribleness. but now i wonder if it was all necessary. just think about it before you decide. think about it a lot. best, robin
    May 31, 2018 272
  • 29 May 2018
    Hello Ladies - This is the most monumental post I have ever had! I came out in a big way - I posted the following post on my facebook, which has been under my birth name as it had to for many complicated reasons ( and probably won't be for much longer I suspect ).  Nevertheless, here it is : I’ll begin with Hello. This is a conversation I have reflected on for the past 5 years. It is about a secret I have held for more than 40 years prior to that time – even longer than I have known all of you and even before I lived here where we went to school together. I suspect many of us have a side to ourselves that is relatively secret, private, et al. I am fortunate in one respect I have only one thing in my ‘closet’ per se ( which I have called the bubble for more years than I can count ).Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10 I made a private vow over this secret, the rule, as I called it – ‘never speak of this, never write of this, ever’. It held fast for nearly 40 years.On that day, when I came out, it was like any other but many of the external pressures were non-existent in my life – I only had me to look at in the mirror for the first time. I will reintroduce myself so as to avoid any more inquisitive looks or boredom – honestly I do drag on a bit.Hello, may name is Briana Purcell. I am a transgender woman. I have seen myself as a girl since the age of 5. It is something I denied, lied, and ran from for decades. It was easy actually. In life we have only two critical questions to contemplate and act on : 1) Who am I? and 2) What do I do? I chose to mostly focus on question 2 for the bulk of my life. All of you in thinking on me might think of these things : She is a bike rider, academic, science geek, diabetic, writer, et al – all things I do – but I would avoid the question of how I see myself, the who am I part of it. I thought very long on this moment – do I say something or do as I have always imagined – one day move away to somewhere where I walk in my door as me and just measure time from that moment on? By pure chance I find myself at this moment – where I have a handful of facebook friends and even after I came out to one among you in an emotional search I see I have a choice to make. Let things go as they are, ie pretend, or allow you to see and know me, decide for yourself am I a friend you wish to have, and move on in time from there. Interestingly facebook has presented me with one of the considerations I have had – say for example there is a class reunion – in the last 20 years I have had no interest in showing up due mostly to this battle and now that I am just me, I thought about it – but have terrible fear. Independent of all things I realized I will always be me, Briana, regardless of who I meet, know, the things I do, and the places I go. Never in my life have I felt as balanced, whole, fully happy, and empowered. Some of the first words I spoke when I broke the rule standing in from of the mirror 5 years ago in a summer dress were these : ‘so this is how it is, this is who I am, … it’s okay…I’m okay’. In a single bat of an eye a wave of energy passed through my body and I felt electric and alive and elevated. It felt as if a large cement weight lifted off of me. If someone were to describe such things to me in the past, before this, I would just nod and say ‘sure, sure, understand’ when in truth I had never had such a feeling. It was easy trying to be what I do – seeing myself as arrogantly smart and not just being myself – a smart girl who can easily admit I most certainly do not know everything. In fact, believe it or not, when reflecting on my battles through the years with myself – nearly caught wearing this or that and the like, for the first time in my life I could laugh at myself. Things are moving along and quite nice in my part of the universe at present, more or less. I see doctors and the like and so far all is good. I still am looking for work, though there seems some barriers on that front – suggestions are welcomed, I have the books ( which clearly have at least one more editorial revision to make, namely author name ), and I have a deep-seated wish to have a few gal pal friends and so on.I could drone on with a million memories, events et al, but maybe I’ll write a tell all book one day ( lol ).Recognize I am still on the earliest of steps of this – there are those who have little to no information on this and must be kept that way due to life’s complications – unfortunately theirs and not mine. So I ask some discretion in your ever sharing of this. Thank you for listening ( ie reading ) and spending some time. I am glad to have come back across all of you. Note I may change my name on fb and the like too, this is all quite new to me - so some nervousness. thanksBriana : )     Note the inclusion of photos and all. The reaction has been priceless - I have been crying on and off through the day. Hormones can be a bit pushy. I had the oddity of coming across and being asked by a dozen or so high school friends - only one who knows - until now, at least. It was like going to a class reunion.  I will add to this as needed. Wow, wow, wow. All the best to everyone here.  Take Care hugs, Briana Purcell - the Galaxy Girl!!  
    175 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - This is the most monumental post I have ever had! I came out in a big way - I posted the following post on my facebook, which has been under my birth name as it had to for many complicated reasons ( and probably won't be for much longer I suspect ).  Nevertheless, here it is : I’ll begin with Hello. This is a conversation I have reflected on for the past 5 years. It is about a secret I have held for more than 40 years prior to that time – even longer than I have known all of you and even before I lived here where we went to school together. I suspect many of us have a side to ourselves that is relatively secret, private, et al. I am fortunate in one respect I have only one thing in my ‘closet’ per se ( which I have called the bubble for more years than I can count ).Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10 I made a private vow over this secret, the rule, as I called it – ‘never speak of this, never write of this, ever’. It held fast for nearly 40 years.On that day, when I came out, it was like any other but many of the external pressures were non-existent in my life – I only had me to look at in the mirror for the first time. I will reintroduce myself so as to avoid any more inquisitive looks or boredom – honestly I do drag on a bit.Hello, may name is Briana Purcell. I am a transgender woman. I have seen myself as a girl since the age of 5. It is something I denied, lied, and ran from for decades. It was easy actually. In life we have only two critical questions to contemplate and act on : 1) Who am I? and 2) What do I do? I chose to mostly focus on question 2 for the bulk of my life. All of you in thinking on me might think of these things : She is a bike rider, academic, science geek, diabetic, writer, et al – all things I do – but I would avoid the question of how I see myself, the who am I part of it. I thought very long on this moment – do I say something or do as I have always imagined – one day move away to somewhere where I walk in my door as me and just measure time from that moment on? By pure chance I find myself at this moment – where I have a handful of facebook friends and even after I came out to one among you in an emotional search I see I have a choice to make. Let things go as they are, ie pretend, or allow you to see and know me, decide for yourself am I a friend you wish to have, and move on in time from there. Interestingly facebook has presented me with one of the considerations I have had – say for example there is a class reunion – in the last 20 years I have had no interest in showing up due mostly to this battle and now that I am just me, I thought about it – but have terrible fear. Independent of all things I realized I will always be me, Briana, regardless of who I meet, know, the things I do, and the places I go. Never in my life have I felt as balanced, whole, fully happy, and empowered. Some of the first words I spoke when I broke the rule standing in from of the mirror 5 years ago in a summer dress were these : ‘so this is how it is, this is who I am, … it’s okay…I’m okay’. In a single bat of an eye a wave of energy passed through my body and I felt electric and alive and elevated. It felt as if a large cement weight lifted off of me. If someone were to describe such things to me in the past, before this, I would just nod and say ‘sure, sure, understand’ when in truth I had never had such a feeling. It was easy trying to be what I do – seeing myself as arrogantly smart and not just being myself – a smart girl who can easily admit I most certainly do not know everything. In fact, believe it or not, when reflecting on my battles through the years with myself – nearly caught wearing this or that and the like, for the first time in my life I could laugh at myself. Things are moving along and quite nice in my part of the universe at present, more or less. I see doctors and the like and so far all is good. I still am looking for work, though there seems some barriers on that front – suggestions are welcomed, I have the books ( which clearly have at least one more editorial revision to make, namely author name ), and I have a deep-seated wish to have a few gal pal friends and so on.I could drone on with a million memories, events et al, but maybe I’ll write a tell all book one day ( lol ).Recognize I am still on the earliest of steps of this – there are those who have little to no information on this and must be kept that way due to life’s complications – unfortunately theirs and not mine. So I ask some discretion in your ever sharing of this. Thank you for listening ( ie reading ) and spending some time. I am glad to have come back across all of you. Note I may change my name on fb and the like too, this is all quite new to me - so some nervousness. thanksBriana : )     Note the inclusion of photos and all. The reaction has been priceless - I have been crying on and off through the day. Hormones can be a bit pushy. I had the oddity of coming across and being asked by a dozen or so high school friends - only one who knows - until now, at least. It was like going to a class reunion.  I will add to this as needed. Wow, wow, wow. All the best to everyone here.  Take Care hugs, Briana Purcell - the Galaxy Girl!!  
    May 29, 2018 175
  • 11 May 2018
    Hello Ladies - A new entry from the Cosmic Girl, Briana Purcell ( Q ) and her quest at being herself! Wow, it has been going on 8 months since starting hormones at this writing and again wow - there are many things to talk about. The dosages have been increased a great deal and I am more and more being seen as a woman even without makeup ( yipee ). My numbers are awesome - I am in some sort of mid range for most women in terms of estrogen level and my testosterone level is extremely low. I certainly need a bra, which is one of the clearest and obvious things that are changing. As noted by many other girls here for those looking at such things, yes there is some level of aching and sensitivity, particularly the nipples. My butt is certainly bigger and I needed new pants! ( Yikes ). My skin is quite smooth, soft. I seem to have a bit of a curve to my body too ( I have always been such a pencil - I am so happy at this new development ). There are many subtle and small changes but I really notice a difference as do many others. I seem to look years younger for example. I did have to buy a few new clothes as I went up a size or so ( oops ).  I have posted some of the new items over the last few months ( take a look and let me know ). Like many girls have noted in their hormones over time, there are some times of crying over some things - I am a bit of a softie and always have been. It can be pictures of animals, scenes even in a TV show which of course is fiction yet when two people touch in a needed hug ( I am definitely a hugger ) I have a few happy tear problems.   I remember when I first came out to myself 5 years back and have only been happier and evolving into the person I have always been in my mind. At the time I came out I considered a coffee/tea party with cookies and crackers for guests in my announcement. With all these things happening, I am considering it all the more these days. - I am definitely a bit of a girly girl and I love it. This includes not only clothes, but music, jewelry, shows I watch, et al. I will return to many things in a moment, but I will also note some interesting things. I ask myself, did I suddenly gain personal confidence, a clear sense of self? I notice I am extremely clear-headed, level-headed, very perceptive on both objective as well as emotional levels and issues in myself and others. I notice I clearly understand and am my identity as a woman. This was a conflict all through my life from childhood - seeing a given girl or woman on TV in a movie, as a news anchor et al and suddenly inside I'm saying to myself - I like that outfit, her hair, I love that personality. Instead of any conflict or question, the interesting thing today is this : I am who I am, a woman, simple as that with my own philosophy, personality, likes and the like. - To see more look to my earlier blogs in this evolution and the need to be and finding me.  Also in regards to the confidence, one day I simply decided to put on a bra, as it is needed and wear it regularly - even around many of the people I have yet to even come out to and discuss these matters with, such as my parents. I rent from them in the some home and see them, therefore, quite regularly, yet they are perfectly fine without even asking with me - I have come to find out that my brother even knows. Thus far there is reasonable peace in the valley, fingers crossed. An interesting thing in telling someone occurred when I was at my parents place itself when they had a cousin who does repairs over. He has known me from the past, so clearly this was new, yet he said nothing, so i asked him 'any questions' - he said 'nope' - I of course noted I needed to come out and be myself - he noted that we should all do what makes us happy and he is okay with it.  I walk in the neighborhood, go to the store, pharmacy, the doctor's, the bank, et al as me. I have done my nails, and I mean toes and fingers ( i like many spent years doing toes and keep them rather hidden ) and thankfully the weather is nice enough to have open toe shoes, so this girl shines! One of the tellers at the bank even notes that red must be my color when I saw Jennifer and she calls me by my name, Briana, when I come in the door - she even asked me two years back what do i call myself by name. At the doctor's office ( and I see a few of them for various things ) docs, nurses, et al see me as me - way cool! : ) Interestingly I did a rather long search on facebook the other day. I am considering telling my oldest friend from high school, but still have worries - though he is a great guy. Funny aside story is that we were born a day apart in the same hospital and graduated valedictorian ( him ) and salutatorian ( me ). Nevertheless, I write to him each year with birthday wishes, much like the girls here, and I send it the day before, I am an old school girl with timing where I want to give one the time to look at it then, or the day of their birthday or when they find time. As I signed my name, I wrote my name ( Briana ) - I had to fix that but that has become a bit more common these days. In the case of his facebook entry and considering to tell him I wanted to know more about him and who he knows. I researched his friend list, traced it back to a discussion group of people in high school and viola I came across a person with a girl's name but a last name of a boy I knew in high school. This put me on a longer search and I found an older listing and her newest one when she emerges - she is gorgeous, successful and a great gal. I hesitantly left one question after another and finally said I need to know, were you *** in high school - I need to know as I too am transgender! - She wrote back, we are now friends on facebook, exchanged email addresses, et al - life is too beautiful  sometimes.  There are many things yet to do ( personally of course ) and with regards to finding friends and coming out to a few key people yet, but these areas are strongly in development. A fun thing I did was get a calendar and I put information on the dates on there when things happen ( note I use it for all years, so I put down the year too ). This year is a continuous stream unlike the periodic pieces in the past. Nothing is better than being yourself.  I bought a great book, though written for kids, Be Who You Are on Amazon - I smiled and cried looking at the cover where the young person sees the girl she is in the mirror, it reminded me of me so much. I even have a write up about that and the book on Amazon in a review and give my name. These sort of books give me hope for the future. I have even did a dress and slippers reviews on two different sites with my name and pictures even. I regularly sign various petition letters on matters on health care, children, education, the environment that go to various US Senators and the like, they write back, use my name - I even sent a personal email to one telling her that I came out this year - her letters always start 'Dear Briana'. I have applies to jobs as myself, receive mail in my name quite regularly these days, and it continues. Nothing yet on the jobs front, but who knows? Still searching. I will clearly add to this entry as time goes by and even write further ones - the items are too numerous in terms of changes, events - I plan to do some scoping ( using my telescope ) in the front yard - totally as myself in the near future ( really a Cosmic Girl )  for example. I am thinking of visiting a few of those sewing and hobby stores to look into thing I like - I am not only thinking of trying but also joining small groups of women in these things. Sounds like fun.  I cannot thank this place and the people here, particularly my friends here enough for their support, it has been a great source of strength, inspiration, and I have hopes for all of us girls here. Great Health, Hope, Harmony, and Happiness Always. All the best in your journeys! Take Care, Hugs, Briana Purcell : )  
    231 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - A new entry from the Cosmic Girl, Briana Purcell ( Q ) and her quest at being herself! Wow, it has been going on 8 months since starting hormones at this writing and again wow - there are many things to talk about. The dosages have been increased a great deal and I am more and more being seen as a woman even without makeup ( yipee ). My numbers are awesome - I am in some sort of mid range for most women in terms of estrogen level and my testosterone level is extremely low. I certainly need a bra, which is one of the clearest and obvious things that are changing. As noted by many other girls here for those looking at such things, yes there is some level of aching and sensitivity, particularly the nipples. My butt is certainly bigger and I needed new pants! ( Yikes ). My skin is quite smooth, soft. I seem to have a bit of a curve to my body too ( I have always been such a pencil - I am so happy at this new development ). There are many subtle and small changes but I really notice a difference as do many others. I seem to look years younger for example. I did have to buy a few new clothes as I went up a size or so ( oops ).  I have posted some of the new items over the last few months ( take a look and let me know ). Like many girls have noted in their hormones over time, there are some times of crying over some things - I am a bit of a softie and always have been. It can be pictures of animals, scenes even in a TV show which of course is fiction yet when two people touch in a needed hug ( I am definitely a hugger ) I have a few happy tear problems.   I remember when I first came out to myself 5 years back and have only been happier and evolving into the person I have always been in my mind. At the time I came out I considered a coffee/tea party with cookies and crackers for guests in my announcement. With all these things happening, I am considering it all the more these days. - I am definitely a bit of a girly girl and I love it. This includes not only clothes, but music, jewelry, shows I watch, et al. I will return to many things in a moment, but I will also note some interesting things. I ask myself, did I suddenly gain personal confidence, a clear sense of self? I notice I am extremely clear-headed, level-headed, very perceptive on both objective as well as emotional levels and issues in myself and others. I notice I clearly understand and am my identity as a woman. This was a conflict all through my life from childhood - seeing a given girl or woman on TV in a movie, as a news anchor et al and suddenly inside I'm saying to myself - I like that outfit, her hair, I love that personality. Instead of any conflict or question, the interesting thing today is this : I am who I am, a woman, simple as that with my own philosophy, personality, likes and the like. - To see more look to my earlier blogs in this evolution and the need to be and finding me.  Also in regards to the confidence, one day I simply decided to put on a bra, as it is needed and wear it regularly - even around many of the people I have yet to even come out to and discuss these matters with, such as my parents. I rent from them in the some home and see them, therefore, quite regularly, yet they are perfectly fine without even asking with me - I have come to find out that my brother even knows. Thus far there is reasonable peace in the valley, fingers crossed. An interesting thing in telling someone occurred when I was at my parents place itself when they had a cousin who does repairs over. He has known me from the past, so clearly this was new, yet he said nothing, so i asked him 'any questions' - he said 'nope' - I of course noted I needed to come out and be myself - he noted that we should all do what makes us happy and he is okay with it.  I walk in the neighborhood, go to the store, pharmacy, the doctor's, the bank, et al as me. I have done my nails, and I mean toes and fingers ( i like many spent years doing toes and keep them rather hidden ) and thankfully the weather is nice enough to have open toe shoes, so this girl shines! One of the tellers at the bank even notes that red must be my color when I saw Jennifer and she calls me by my name, Briana, when I come in the door - she even asked me two years back what do i call myself by name. At the doctor's office ( and I see a few of them for various things ) docs, nurses, et al see me as me - way cool! : ) Interestingly I did a rather long search on facebook the other day. I am considering telling my oldest friend from high school, but still have worries - though he is a great guy. Funny aside story is that we were born a day apart in the same hospital and graduated valedictorian ( him ) and salutatorian ( me ). Nevertheless, I write to him each year with birthday wishes, much like the girls here, and I send it the day before, I am an old school girl with timing where I want to give one the time to look at it then, or the day of their birthday or when they find time. As I signed my name, I wrote my name ( Briana ) - I had to fix that but that has become a bit more common these days. In the case of his facebook entry and considering to tell him I wanted to know more about him and who he knows. I researched his friend list, traced it back to a discussion group of people in high school and viola I came across a person with a girl's name but a last name of a boy I knew in high school. This put me on a longer search and I found an older listing and her newest one when she emerges - she is gorgeous, successful and a great gal. I hesitantly left one question after another and finally said I need to know, were you *** in high school - I need to know as I too am transgender! - She wrote back, we are now friends on facebook, exchanged email addresses, et al - life is too beautiful  sometimes.  There are many things yet to do ( personally of course ) and with regards to finding friends and coming out to a few key people yet, but these areas are strongly in development. A fun thing I did was get a calendar and I put information on the dates on there when things happen ( note I use it for all years, so I put down the year too ). This year is a continuous stream unlike the periodic pieces in the past. Nothing is better than being yourself.  I bought a great book, though written for kids, Be Who You Are on Amazon - I smiled and cried looking at the cover where the young person sees the girl she is in the mirror, it reminded me of me so much. I even have a write up about that and the book on Amazon in a review and give my name. These sort of books give me hope for the future. I have even did a dress and slippers reviews on two different sites with my name and pictures even. I regularly sign various petition letters on matters on health care, children, education, the environment that go to various US Senators and the like, they write back, use my name - I even sent a personal email to one telling her that I came out this year - her letters always start 'Dear Briana'. I have applies to jobs as myself, receive mail in my name quite regularly these days, and it continues. Nothing yet on the jobs front, but who knows? Still searching. I will clearly add to this entry as time goes by and even write further ones - the items are too numerous in terms of changes, events - I plan to do some scoping ( using my telescope ) in the front yard - totally as myself in the near future ( really a Cosmic Girl )  for example. I am thinking of visiting a few of those sewing and hobby stores to look into thing I like - I am not only thinking of trying but also joining small groups of women in these things. Sounds like fun.  I cannot thank this place and the people here, particularly my friends here enough for their support, it has been a great source of strength, inspiration, and I have hopes for all of us girls here. Great Health, Hope, Harmony, and Happiness Always. All the best in your journeys! Take Care, Hugs, Briana Purcell : )  
    May 11, 2018 231
  • 10 May 2018
    Got another small payment recently. Most likely will never see the full amount,though. The interest is accruing faster than the payments are going out. I'm  listing the settlement in my will so my heirs may get something .
    239 Posted by jan jefferies
  • Got another small payment recently. Most likely will never see the full amount,though. The interest is accruing faster than the payments are going out. I'm  listing the settlement in my will so my heirs may get something .
    May 10, 2018 239

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  • 12 Aug 2013
    Hello again? I had a reather uneventful day.  Most of which was spent on line, sigh   But I did see a unique u tube posting which gave me pause for thought.   It seems that I didn't have a morning routine. So I'd roll out of bed go to that bathroom take care of business, taking my gurly pills and such clean my dentures after they had been sitting in cold water overnight.  and such, we musent get to detailed here right. lol   I then sat down in front of my lap top at home and looked for what happened to the world while I was sleeping.  After a few hours of this I decided that it was about time i went outside and got some fresh air.  I live in a sealed building no opening the windows, grrr.   I put on the bra and manties, then looked around for what else to wear.  Oh my everything is fairly well soiled, That is what I get for going so long without doin the laundry. Funny I used to enjoy it so too.     Anywho,  I found that when ever I start the day I'm sorta in gender neutral from having started the day so many years now this way.   I thought that I should take a few minutes and meditate or at least say a montry affirming that I am a gurl/woman now.  This might help with my guilty feelings in wearing woman's attire outside.   For the past few months I have started carrying a decidely feminine purse, having switched from a gender neutral messenger bag.  I've also begun wearing daily earrings.  That is about as far as I could allow myself to go. sigh  Not long ago I did have occasion to go out and conduct some business wearing a blouse and earrings carrying a purse.  I was surprised pleasantly by the way no one managed to noticiblly notice me.  I got a few second glances but that was about it.   I am quite sure that I'm not able to "pass" as soon as i open my mouth i spill the beans cuz i haven't found a way to adjust my voice yet.   I have an appointment with my mental health practical nurse who oversee's my meds except for the gurl pills.  I have been out to her for quite sometime but she has never seen me en fem.  I have an appointment with her on Tuesday and have today decided that I will go en fem on that day.  I will be traveling on public transport but it will not be commuters hours.  I wonder what her reaction will be like?  giggle   So between tonight and Tuesday noon I will be trying to do all I can to re affirm my feminine personna.  giggle   Well that is about all I can think of to say so. . here's hoping.  I will try to write on tuesday about the little adventure.  Rhonda
    149867 Posted by Rhonda Armstrong
  • Hello again? I had a reather uneventful day.  Most of which was spent on line, sigh   But I did see a unique u tube posting which gave me pause for thought.   It seems that I didn't have a morning routine. So I'd roll out of bed go to that bathroom take care of business, taking my gurly pills and such clean my dentures after they had been sitting in cold water overnight.  and such, we musent get to detailed here right. lol   I then sat down in front of my lap top at home and looked for what happened to the world while I was sleeping.  After a few hours of this I decided that it was about time i went outside and got some fresh air.  I live in a sealed building no opening the windows, grrr.   I put on the bra and manties, then looked around for what else to wear.  Oh my everything is fairly well soiled, That is what I get for going so long without doin the laundry. Funny I used to enjoy it so too.     Anywho,  I found that when ever I start the day I'm sorta in gender neutral from having started the day so many years now this way.   I thought that I should take a few minutes and meditate or at least say a montry affirming that I am a gurl/woman now.  This might help with my guilty feelings in wearing woman's attire outside.   For the past few months I have started carrying a decidely feminine purse, having switched from a gender neutral messenger bag.  I've also begun wearing daily earrings.  That is about as far as I could allow myself to go. sigh  Not long ago I did have occasion to go out and conduct some business wearing a blouse and earrings carrying a purse.  I was surprised pleasantly by the way no one managed to noticiblly notice me.  I got a few second glances but that was about it.   I am quite sure that I'm not able to "pass" as soon as i open my mouth i spill the beans cuz i haven't found a way to adjust my voice yet.   I have an appointment with my mental health practical nurse who oversee's my meds except for the gurl pills.  I have been out to her for quite sometime but she has never seen me en fem.  I have an appointment with her on Tuesday and have today decided that I will go en fem on that day.  I will be traveling on public transport but it will not be commuters hours.  I wonder what her reaction will be like?  giggle   So between tonight and Tuesday noon I will be trying to do all I can to re affirm my feminine personna.  giggle   Well that is about all I can think of to say so. . here's hoping.  I will try to write on tuesday about the little adventure.  Rhonda
    Aug 12, 2013 149867
  • 20 May 2012
    St Audries Bay TV week , May 2012 This event takes place twice a year in May and September, just a few miles north of Watchet in Somerset, as it was almost a 400 mile drive I had decided that I would not be able to go in September as well, To break the journey I stayed at Ironbridge over the week end and visited a few places in that area which I had wanted to see for years. On the Monday morning 7 May I continued on to St Audries bay, I had been looking forward to this week for months, on arrival I booked into the single chalet with half board I had opted for, nothing fancy but OK – a bit on the small side for the amount of luggage I took!!  But fine as long as I kept it tidy, Showered and changed into skirt and top, I went off to explore the facilities which are very good, and to meet some of the other girls (and a few Boys). a few of the girls had their wives with them, the first thing that struck me was some of the way out outfits on show, some outrageous, but none were indecent.      Dinner was served at 18.00 hrs. and the food was to a high standard, this was the time when we really started to get to know each other, so many new faces and names I think we all had a job trying to remember names, after dinner  there was a short bingo session (not my cup of tea) before the disco started at 21.00 hrs. again not my thing but there were plenty of other comfortable places to go and just chat over a drink, this is when I first met Marlene a lovely RG lady who gave me a lot of encouragement and advice over the week, she asked me if I was interested in the coach trip organised for the Wednesday – I had already decided not to go but when I found that it was just a mini bus and she told me the details I changed my mind and booked.      The Tuesday was spent quietly getting to know one another, and making lots of new friends, one very experienced girl I was chatting to about trying to be convincing and blending in told me that I was doing well and actually looked like a girl, which again boosted my confidence and looking at some of the girls and their dress sense I could see that I was quite a bit more convincing than some.  There was also a table top sale where I bought a couple of bracelets, and the “newbies get together” complete with wine. After dinner they held the first round of “play your cards right” followed by cabaret and disco.       The coach trip left at 11.30 on Wednesday  and firstly headed for sea life aquarium at  Weston super mare, when  we arrived on the sea front there was quite a cold wind coming in from the sea so there were not that many people about which I was quite pleased about as this was just my second time out among “joe public” there were a few people in the aquarium  but It almost felt as if we were un noticed with no problems at all which boosted my confidence, We then went back to Watchet where the Esplanade club opened especially for us and put on a lovely buffet meal—far more than we could eat and very high standard, being on the harbour side we were able to go out and mingle with the public and view the boats in the marina , but with a safe “bolt hole” in the club in case of trouble, but we enjoyed our time there without incident, a further boost to my confidence.         On Thursday there was among other things a pool competition which I entered out of a fit of daftness, having never played pool before (I had played a little snooker about 50 years ago) needless to say I was knocked out in the first round – best of 3 games – 1st game I was whitewashed- second game I did manage to pocket 2 balls--- progress of sorts. By this time it was near lunch time and as I had some food in the car and a flask of coffee I took off for Watchet on my own and went to the harbour where we had been the day before, , parked the car as close to the ticket machine as possible, took a deep breath and went and bought a ticket, I then moved as close to the harbour as possible, parked up and had a light lunch while watching passers-by, and especially observing  what women were wearing, as there was a cool breeze in from the sea most were wearing coats. I had a light weight coat in the car so put this on in order to “blend in” as far as possible, took a deep breath and set off with my bag over my shoulder, I walked right across the harbour front and into the town without incident and with growing confidence, as I needed some ciggies I looked for a shop which was not too busy and a little way on came to the post office/ gift shop, I stood outside for a few moments, fished my purse out of my bag and went boldly in, the lady behind the counter never batted an eyelid when I asked- very quietly in my best (HA HA ) girly voice asked for 40 Benson & hedges, paid for them , collected my change and strolled out, on my way back to the car I deliberately waked down the side of the street where there were quite a few people about—no problem , as I walked back across the harbour I could hear a steam train of the west Somerset railway approaching so when I got back to the car (the car park is alongside the railway station) I got the camera out and stood by the car waiting for the train to arrive, just then an oldish man came to his car parked 2 spaces away from me and let his dog out, dog immediately came towards me , its owner tried to call it back saying “come here now don’t go bothering the lady” dog took no notice and came up to me tail wagging,  so I stroked its ear, it then went back to its owner and he said to it “ yes she was being nice to you” I am quite convinced that he was being genuine and had not read me--- needless to say I was more than a little pleased . The train arrived and I got my photos, by which time it was time to head back, basking in the buzz of my first real time out on my own. That evening was the third and final round of play your cards right, in another fit of daftness I bought a ticket and to my amazement my number was called as the second contestant, My first card was a queen so I went lower and turned up a 2 – so I went higher – and turned up another 2 – that put an end to my moment of glory!!  After this was the Miss St Audries Bay competition – which I did not enter! – but was won by Roslyn, one of the girls I had become friends with, she was wearing a lovely lime green evening dress and was a well-deserved winner, another disco rounded the evening off.       Friday saw me itching to go out again, as I had been advised that Minehead was a safe place to go to, off I went wearing my green suite and as there was a cold wind again I put on my heavier camel coat, I was able to park in the main street and set off for a walk, within 40 yards I bumped into Steph, one of the other girls I had met, we had a chat and she told me that she was going to the cider farm which is TV friendly, for a coffee, so I said that once I had my walk I would catch her up at the farm, off I went to the end of the street – about 500 yards, crossed over and started up the other side, about ¾ way back to the car IT happened, I suddenly felt my skirt which has an elasticated waist sliding down over my hips OOOOPs –a few seconds of panic , - I put my hand into my coat pocket and was just in time to grab the waistband of said skirt and pull it back a bit before it hit the ground , I was then able to get slowly back to the car and get in, fortunately I had my emergency sewing kit in the car which contained some safety pins ( a girl’s best friend at a time like this) I sat in the car and discreetly pinned my skirt into position. I was disappointed at not completing my walk so got back out and went a further 50 or 60 yards up the street and back, but was not 100% sure of my pin up job, so decided to skip the cider farm and head for a quiet place where I could make a better job of securing the offending garment . I headed up into the hills on a quiet back road and found the perfect place to effect repairs and have some lunch from my ration box. This done there was plenty of time left so I headed back towards Watchet, on the way I came across a forestry commission car park which was empty – a perfect place to test the security of my skirt—a stroll round the car park a few times put my mind at rest, so on to Watchet, Parked up and made for the harbour again and had another walk but this time there was a party of school kids( dangerous animals so I am told)at the far end of the harbour so I turned back and had a walk along the railway station platform instead, as I was now satisfied that the skirt incident had not un-nerved me I made my way back to St Audries. That evening was largely taken up with “curtain Call” which was a 2 hour show put on by some of the girls, considering that this is done at short notice it was mostly very good.      Saturday saw a few of us heading for the cider farm which I had missed out on the day before, as it was in a very sheltered location the cold wind did not find us and it turned out to be the warmest day of the week, so we enjoyed a coffee and scone in the sunshine, that evening was the Gala dinner followed by prize giving and cabaret . Sunday was a bit sad and quite a few tears were shed as girls departed for home, I had booked to stay on for another 4 days to explore the area more (in Drab) and visit the railway but on the Monday I had a very special trip to make – to Bickleigh Mill near Tiverton to meet the one and only Carol – we had a lovely couple of hours chat and coffee – she really is a super lady – but that is another story.      Did I say I could not go again in September --- I only thought that before I went, so guess what – I’m booked for September and next May – roll on September.     
    16231 Posted by rosie Bush
  • St Audries Bay TV week , May 2012 This event takes place twice a year in May and September, just a few miles north of Watchet in Somerset, as it was almost a 400 mile drive I had decided that I would not be able to go in September as well, To break the journey I stayed at Ironbridge over the week end and visited a few places in that area which I had wanted to see for years. On the Monday morning 7 May I continued on to St Audries bay, I had been looking forward to this week for months, on arrival I booked into the single chalet with half board I had opted for, nothing fancy but OK – a bit on the small side for the amount of luggage I took!!  But fine as long as I kept it tidy, Showered and changed into skirt and top, I went off to explore the facilities which are very good, and to meet some of the other girls (and a few Boys). a few of the girls had their wives with them, the first thing that struck me was some of the way out outfits on show, some outrageous, but none were indecent.      Dinner was served at 18.00 hrs. and the food was to a high standard, this was the time when we really started to get to know each other, so many new faces and names I think we all had a job trying to remember names, after dinner  there was a short bingo session (not my cup of tea) before the disco started at 21.00 hrs. again not my thing but there were plenty of other comfortable places to go and just chat over a drink, this is when I first met Marlene a lovely RG lady who gave me a lot of encouragement and advice over the week, she asked me if I was interested in the coach trip organised for the Wednesday – I had already decided not to go but when I found that it was just a mini bus and she told me the details I changed my mind and booked.      The Tuesday was spent quietly getting to know one another, and making lots of new friends, one very experienced girl I was chatting to about trying to be convincing and blending in told me that I was doing well and actually looked like a girl, which again boosted my confidence and looking at some of the girls and their dress sense I could see that I was quite a bit more convincing than some.  There was also a table top sale where I bought a couple of bracelets, and the “newbies get together” complete with wine. After dinner they held the first round of “play your cards right” followed by cabaret and disco.       The coach trip left at 11.30 on Wednesday  and firstly headed for sea life aquarium at  Weston super mare, when  we arrived on the sea front there was quite a cold wind coming in from the sea so there were not that many people about which I was quite pleased about as this was just my second time out among “joe public” there were a few people in the aquarium  but It almost felt as if we were un noticed with no problems at all which boosted my confidence, We then went back to Watchet where the Esplanade club opened especially for us and put on a lovely buffet meal—far more than we could eat and very high standard, being on the harbour side we were able to go out and mingle with the public and view the boats in the marina , but with a safe “bolt hole” in the club in case of trouble, but we enjoyed our time there without incident, a further boost to my confidence.         On Thursday there was among other things a pool competition which I entered out of a fit of daftness, having never played pool before (I had played a little snooker about 50 years ago) needless to say I was knocked out in the first round – best of 3 games – 1st game I was whitewashed- second game I did manage to pocket 2 balls--- progress of sorts. By this time it was near lunch time and as I had some food in the car and a flask of coffee I took off for Watchet on my own and went to the harbour where we had been the day before, , parked the car as close to the ticket machine as possible, took a deep breath and went and bought a ticket, I then moved as close to the harbour as possible, parked up and had a light lunch while watching passers-by, and especially observing  what women were wearing, as there was a cool breeze in from the sea most were wearing coats. I had a light weight coat in the car so put this on in order to “blend in” as far as possible, took a deep breath and set off with my bag over my shoulder, I walked right across the harbour front and into the town without incident and with growing confidence, as I needed some ciggies I looked for a shop which was not too busy and a little way on came to the post office/ gift shop, I stood outside for a few moments, fished my purse out of my bag and went boldly in, the lady behind the counter never batted an eyelid when I asked- very quietly in my best (HA HA ) girly voice asked for 40 Benson & hedges, paid for them , collected my change and strolled out, on my way back to the car I deliberately waked down the side of the street where there were quite a few people about—no problem , as I walked back across the harbour I could hear a steam train of the west Somerset railway approaching so when I got back to the car (the car park is alongside the railway station) I got the camera out and stood by the car waiting for the train to arrive, just then an oldish man came to his car parked 2 spaces away from me and let his dog out, dog immediately came towards me , its owner tried to call it back saying “come here now don’t go bothering the lady” dog took no notice and came up to me tail wagging,  so I stroked its ear, it then went back to its owner and he said to it “ yes she was being nice to you” I am quite convinced that he was being genuine and had not read me--- needless to say I was more than a little pleased . The train arrived and I got my photos, by which time it was time to head back, basking in the buzz of my first real time out on my own. That evening was the third and final round of play your cards right, in another fit of daftness I bought a ticket and to my amazement my number was called as the second contestant, My first card was a queen so I went lower and turned up a 2 – so I went higher – and turned up another 2 – that put an end to my moment of glory!!  After this was the Miss St Audries Bay competition – which I did not enter! – but was won by Roslyn, one of the girls I had become friends with, she was wearing a lovely lime green evening dress and was a well-deserved winner, another disco rounded the evening off.       Friday saw me itching to go out again, as I had been advised that Minehead was a safe place to go to, off I went wearing my green suite and as there was a cold wind again I put on my heavier camel coat, I was able to park in the main street and set off for a walk, within 40 yards I bumped into Steph, one of the other girls I had met, we had a chat and she told me that she was going to the cider farm which is TV friendly, for a coffee, so I said that once I had my walk I would catch her up at the farm, off I went to the end of the street – about 500 yards, crossed over and started up the other side, about ¾ way back to the car IT happened, I suddenly felt my skirt which has an elasticated waist sliding down over my hips OOOOPs –a few seconds of panic , - I put my hand into my coat pocket and was just in time to grab the waistband of said skirt and pull it back a bit before it hit the ground , I was then able to get slowly back to the car and get in, fortunately I had my emergency sewing kit in the car which contained some safety pins ( a girl’s best friend at a time like this) I sat in the car and discreetly pinned my skirt into position. I was disappointed at not completing my walk so got back out and went a further 50 or 60 yards up the street and back, but was not 100% sure of my pin up job, so decided to skip the cider farm and head for a quiet place where I could make a better job of securing the offending garment . I headed up into the hills on a quiet back road and found the perfect place to effect repairs and have some lunch from my ration box. This done there was plenty of time left so I headed back towards Watchet, on the way I came across a forestry commission car park which was empty – a perfect place to test the security of my skirt—a stroll round the car park a few times put my mind at rest, so on to Watchet, Parked up and made for the harbour again and had another walk but this time there was a party of school kids( dangerous animals so I am told)at the far end of the harbour so I turned back and had a walk along the railway station platform instead, as I was now satisfied that the skirt incident had not un-nerved me I made my way back to St Audries. That evening was largely taken up with “curtain Call” which was a 2 hour show put on by some of the girls, considering that this is done at short notice it was mostly very good.      Saturday saw a few of us heading for the cider farm which I had missed out on the day before, as it was in a very sheltered location the cold wind did not find us and it turned out to be the warmest day of the week, so we enjoyed a coffee and scone in the sunshine, that evening was the Gala dinner followed by prize giving and cabaret . Sunday was a bit sad and quite a few tears were shed as girls departed for home, I had booked to stay on for another 4 days to explore the area more (in Drab) and visit the railway but on the Monday I had a very special trip to make – to Bickleigh Mill near Tiverton to meet the one and only Carol – we had a lovely couple of hours chat and coffee – she really is a super lady – but that is another story.      Did I say I could not go again in September --- I only thought that before I went, so guess what – I’m booked for September and next May – roll on September.     
    May 20, 2012 16231
  • 08 Nov 2008
    OMG.....is it really that long since i blogged? Well, its not been too bad a period for me. On Tuesday, i had an appointment over at the Norwich GIC ( Gender Identity Clinic) with Dr Ted Olive, who i last saw here in Lowestoft back in April of 2006. This time he was accompanied by Barbara Ross who i'd never met before & got on very well with. I certainly gained a lot out of it & knowin that there IS somewhere closer to home is a great help to me, because its hard being stuck out here. But, in just under 4wks time i'm gonna be one very happy girl because my Charllet's coming to stay for a week & just before xmas too. I haven't seen her since mid-july & have missed her so much it hurts. Getting to see her so close to christmas is truly going to be the bestest prezzie EVER!!. There's been some news that everyone in town has been talking about. It even made the local and National news too. Last thursdsay a man was arrested at the train station & it turns out A) he was very drunk & B) he was ONLY carrying two improvised explosive devices ( Bombs) with him as well as certain literature too. He went before the magistrates here who BAILED him, despite him carrying all that stuff with him. I just thank god the MET re-arrested him immediately & he's now in custody facing major Charges relating to terrorism.  I Honestly never thought i'd see that kind of thing here, & thinking what could have happened had he not been caught....well it just doesnt bear thinking about does it?.
    11030 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • OMG.....is it really that long since i blogged? Well, its not been too bad a period for me. On Tuesday, i had an appointment over at the Norwich GIC ( Gender Identity Clinic) with Dr Ted Olive, who i last saw here in Lowestoft back in April of 2006. This time he was accompanied by Barbara Ross who i'd never met before & got on very well with. I certainly gained a lot out of it & knowin that there IS somewhere closer to home is a great help to me, because its hard being stuck out here. But, in just under 4wks time i'm gonna be one very happy girl because my Charllet's coming to stay for a week & just before xmas too. I haven't seen her since mid-july & have missed her so much it hurts. Getting to see her so close to christmas is truly going to be the bestest prezzie EVER!!. There's been some news that everyone in town has been talking about. It even made the local and National news too. Last thursdsay a man was arrested at the train station & it turns out A) he was very drunk & B) he was ONLY carrying two improvised explosive devices ( Bombs) with him as well as certain literature too. He went before the magistrates here who BAILED him, despite him carrying all that stuff with him. I just thank god the MET re-arrested him immediately & he's now in custody facing major Charges relating to terrorism.  I Honestly never thought i'd see that kind of thing here, & thinking what could have happened had he not been caught....well it just doesnt bear thinking about does it?.
    Nov 08, 2008 11030
  • 26 Jul 2011
    Hi,    In this Mag I have written a article on my forced feminination by a local college, and my various adventures as a female going back to college. Yes the college is forcing me to be a woman at least on campus. Here is a small part on my article. "I was in the office of the dean of students with there chief of police discussing my enrolment into the college my first semester there. I was dressed at the time in a 3 piece mens business suit complete with a tie, and my very male patterned baldness showing.    I said "Do you realise that you are asking a XY male raised man to use thw woman's locker room?"    The chief said "Aaaaaa yaaaa we have to ask you to use the woman's locker room for legal reasons." Oh ya this is going to be good. So thus attired I ventured into the woman's locker room, and was promptly assaulted by 2 Asian female students........     You can read the rest in my article as to what happened.  As time goes on I will tell all you of my adventures, and my thoughts on this.   Take Cree, Elder A. Vickie Boisseau CPS I am not my body. - Thich Nhat Hanh
    8061 Posted by Vickie Boisseau
  • Hi,    In this Mag I have written a article on my forced feminination by a local college, and my various adventures as a female going back to college. Yes the college is forcing me to be a woman at least on campus. Here is a small part on my article. "I was in the office of the dean of students with there chief of police discussing my enrolment into the college my first semester there. I was dressed at the time in a 3 piece mens business suit complete with a tie, and my very male patterned baldness showing.    I said "Do you realise that you are asking a XY male raised man to use thw woman's locker room?"    The chief said "Aaaaaa yaaaa we have to ask you to use the woman's locker room for legal reasons." Oh ya this is going to be good. So thus attired I ventured into the woman's locker room, and was promptly assaulted by 2 Asian female students........     You can read the rest in my article as to what happened.  As time goes on I will tell all you of my adventures, and my thoughts on this.   Take Cree, Elder A. Vickie Boisseau CPS I am not my body. - Thich Nhat Hanh
    Jul 26, 2011 8061
  • 04 Mar 2012
    This is my take on our girls weekend out in Milton Keynes arranged by Faye   For me the weekend started on thurs evening with packing, what to take what not to take? So i took way to much of everything. As i had booked for a make over at Style Me Quirky on the friday i packed two bags, one for friday, clothes for travelling back, two options ( i can never make my mind up what to wear) shoes, make up and loads of other stuff. The other bag was packed for saturday, even more shoes, 5 or 6 dresses, casual clothes, and way to much other stuff. Finally with everything packed it was off to bed to try to sleep, with the excitement building sleep eventually came in the early hours.   Friday morning arrives, the bags are put ih the car and im off. Driving to Milton Keynes so much goes through my mind. Will we all get on, what will the hotel and club be like, will i have the nerve to spend the whole weekend as Monique. Before i realise it I have arrived in Milton Keynes, way to early, its only 11.15. A quick check on the hotel location I decide to kill some time by going for a drive around. A quick trip up the road and i discover a shopping complex. So I decide to have a quick look around. First stop was TK Max, lots of cheap clothes but i dont have the nerve to look through the miles of rails as the shop is really busy. Next stop is Brantanos, here the problem is opposite, the shop is void of people and i feel very self concious walking around the womens shoes. I feel as though the sale assistants are watching me and laughing inside, im sure they are not but i decide to head out, im sure the young female assistant gave me a knowing smile as i head out the door. Back in the car i kick myself for being so stupid and realise that if i am going to enjoy this weekend i will need to be more confident, not a real strong point for me.   I decide to get something to eat as ive had no food since Thursday evening. Just around the corner i find a Burger King. A quick burger meal then i head to the hotel. I sit in the carpark reading the paper waiting for the girls to arrive. Again so much goes through my mind and im starting to feel really nervous about the whole weekend. I am bought back to reality by a text message from Debs, Faye has picked her up from the airport and they are on their way. A short time later i recognise a blue Saab as it pulls up in the car park, and nearly flattens a hedge.  I nervously get out of the car and walk over. The first thing that happens is a big hug from Debs, then a hug from Faye. We stand and chat for a short while and i can honestly say from that first hug my confidence is growing and my nerves seem to have gone. We check in to the hotel laughing and joking all the time, we all end  up in rooms next to one another, so we head upstairs to get settled before we head off to London.   We all meet outside the rooms. Faye has changed while me and Debs are still in drab mode. Faye is muttering something about not looking good, but i think she looks great. We head to the car park put mine and Debs bags in the car and we are off to London. The drive is pretty uneventfull, but the chat in the car is good and we have a good laugh on the journey. The more we chat and laugh the more relaxed and confident i feel about the weekend. We arrive in London park the car and make our way to the Styke Me Quirky studio.   We get to the studio and call Pops to say we have arrived, by this time i am doing a stupid dance as i am busting for a pee, of course the girls are sympathetic about this, NOT, but we have a laugh about it. I my case a little laugh as i dont want to wet myself literally. Pops and Kelly come down to meet us and i make a mad dash for the loo. I return to find everyone chatting and getting on like a house on fire so i just join in the chat while we have a smoke before going in for the make over. Seeing Pops again is like meeting an old friend and we chat like you would with someone you see everyday. We finish our cigs and head into the studio. For me personally this makeover was much easier than the first as i feel at ease with the Style Me Quirky crew even though ive never met Kelly before. I will not go into the make over now, but i will say it was a blast especially when Cathy arrived.  you need to read Debs blog about her make over.   We leave the studio around midnight and head to Pops house for a quick drink before we head back to Milton Keynes. We chat for a while about the day and have a good laugh. On a personal note while having a smoke in the garden with just Pops we have a personal chat, and as much as Pops has found a client who will return when possible i would also class Pops as a friend who cares. We all say our farewells throw the bags in the car and we head back to Milton Keynes.   Driving back we chat about the day so far and we all agree it has been a great day. The drive back was a lot quicker, mainly because lack of traffic but also down to my heavy right foot, thank god the sat nav pics up speed cameras. Debs and Faye have a bit of a snooze on the way back, i know because i can here the radio.............lol. I must admit i cannot stop smiling all the way back as i have had a great day with a couple of great girls. At this time i would honestly say i was flagging having had such a long day, but when we get close to the hotel it is decided we will go to PP's and it was the right decision.   to be continued  
    6949 Posted by monique aka *mini Mon* h
  • This is my take on our girls weekend out in Milton Keynes arranged by Faye   For me the weekend started on thurs evening with packing, what to take what not to take? So i took way to much of everything. As i had booked for a make over at Style Me Quirky on the friday i packed two bags, one for friday, clothes for travelling back, two options ( i can never make my mind up what to wear) shoes, make up and loads of other stuff. The other bag was packed for saturday, even more shoes, 5 or 6 dresses, casual clothes, and way to much other stuff. Finally with everything packed it was off to bed to try to sleep, with the excitement building sleep eventually came in the early hours.   Friday morning arrives, the bags are put ih the car and im off. Driving to Milton Keynes so much goes through my mind. Will we all get on, what will the hotel and club be like, will i have the nerve to spend the whole weekend as Monique. Before i realise it I have arrived in Milton Keynes, way to early, its only 11.15. A quick check on the hotel location I decide to kill some time by going for a drive around. A quick trip up the road and i discover a shopping complex. So I decide to have a quick look around. First stop was TK Max, lots of cheap clothes but i dont have the nerve to look through the miles of rails as the shop is really busy. Next stop is Brantanos, here the problem is opposite, the shop is void of people and i feel very self concious walking around the womens shoes. I feel as though the sale assistants are watching me and laughing inside, im sure they are not but i decide to head out, im sure the young female assistant gave me a knowing smile as i head out the door. Back in the car i kick myself for being so stupid and realise that if i am going to enjoy this weekend i will need to be more confident, not a real strong point for me.   I decide to get something to eat as ive had no food since Thursday evening. Just around the corner i find a Burger King. A quick burger meal then i head to the hotel. I sit in the carpark reading the paper waiting for the girls to arrive. Again so much goes through my mind and im starting to feel really nervous about the whole weekend. I am bought back to reality by a text message from Debs, Faye has picked her up from the airport and they are on their way. A short time later i recognise a blue Saab as it pulls up in the car park, and nearly flattens a hedge.  I nervously get out of the car and walk over. The first thing that happens is a big hug from Debs, then a hug from Faye. We stand and chat for a short while and i can honestly say from that first hug my confidence is growing and my nerves seem to have gone. We check in to the hotel laughing and joking all the time, we all end  up in rooms next to one another, so we head upstairs to get settled before we head off to London.   We all meet outside the rooms. Faye has changed while me and Debs are still in drab mode. Faye is muttering something about not looking good, but i think she looks great. We head to the car park put mine and Debs bags in the car and we are off to London. The drive is pretty uneventfull, but the chat in the car is good and we have a good laugh on the journey. The more we chat and laugh the more relaxed and confident i feel about the weekend. We arrive in London park the car and make our way to the Styke Me Quirky studio.   We get to the studio and call Pops to say we have arrived, by this time i am doing a stupid dance as i am busting for a pee, of course the girls are sympathetic about this, NOT, but we have a laugh about it. I my case a little laugh as i dont want to wet myself literally. Pops and Kelly come down to meet us and i make a mad dash for the loo. I return to find everyone chatting and getting on like a house on fire so i just join in the chat while we have a smoke before going in for the make over. Seeing Pops again is like meeting an old friend and we chat like you would with someone you see everyday. We finish our cigs and head into the studio. For me personally this makeover was much easier than the first as i feel at ease with the Style Me Quirky crew even though ive never met Kelly before. I will not go into the make over now, but i will say it was a blast especially when Cathy arrived.  you need to read Debs blog about her make over.   We leave the studio around midnight and head to Pops house for a quick drink before we head back to Milton Keynes. We chat for a while about the day and have a good laugh. On a personal note while having a smoke in the garden with just Pops we have a personal chat, and as much as Pops has found a client who will return when possible i would also class Pops as a friend who cares. We all say our farewells throw the bags in the car and we head back to Milton Keynes.   Driving back we chat about the day so far and we all agree it has been a great day. The drive back was a lot quicker, mainly because lack of traffic but also down to my heavy right foot, thank god the sat nav pics up speed cameras. Debs and Faye have a bit of a snooze on the way back, i know because i can here the radio.............lol. I must admit i cannot stop smiling all the way back as i have had a great day with a couple of great girls. At this time i would honestly say i was flagging having had such a long day, but when we get close to the hotel it is decided we will go to PP's and it was the right decision.   to be continued  
    Mar 04, 2012 6949
  • 16 Jan 2012
    So Today , I took a days Holiday  went to London, main reason was see  gender Specialist for routine appointment. Writing now I think I should explain first what a "Miranda" is and How its part of a Transgendered Persons life [ at least M2F]. Miranda Hart is a UK Comedienne [ a GG] quite commonly on Television, See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_Hart Main facet of Mirandas comedy is based on her Physical Image, See You Tube Medley to get the idea http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTf17cmPl0I .  -There it is , delivery Man comes in to Mirandas Pet shop, asks for a signature , Miranda Scribbles , delivery Man says "Thank you Sir" and casually carries on with his job. Miranda just looks to Camera No words ... The expression says " Yes I  get this and not for the first time , not a lot I can do about it, seeing as you have already made up your mind. ". I love this because it is Humour as an education by means of self reflection, not as a harmful  sneer at someone else.   [theres a quote not sure where- If you can laugh at youself you will always be amused].    So you are  trying your best , refining the changes and look. Your Voice is not Great though. --Yes thats me, but I am happy with things. - My first Miranda was getting a Rail Ticket. I asked the Lady at the Ticket Kiosk for an all day Ticket with London Underground pass and paid for it by Card. Possible reason was I handed over the Card [ name not changed] , or Probably Voice. it was early morning.Incidentally I thought I was being wise by buying the Underground ticket  at the start of the journey, as on a Previous Outing London I got a Miranda from the Waterloo Station Ticket office . I thought Image wise I looked alright, clothes selection and Hair are good , and I just tend to be very relaxed, helps the movement.   Before the second Miranda , I walked up and down Oxford Street before 9.30, Shops where not open yet[ it is London afterall]. The early Breakfast cups of Tea had taken their effect, leading me to seek out an early Opening Coffee shop. I prefer Costa Coffee , but settled for Starbucks at the point of Mild desperation. Thats nice , discreet 2 Floor lay out and  Unisex Toilets. , through the Door, ladies  is seperate okay, oh dear a queue..This early!!. At this point in time I am okay ,but did not want to wait in the queue . I guess there is a side to me that says be discreet you just want to fit in and be unnoticed, even if there is a remote chance I dont want anyone to be upset If I am queuing in the ladies. Plan B theres another Starbucks other side of the road, . Had a small Mocha, and Fruit Salad.  Iam sure "Skinny Latte" sounds more feminine than Mocha  , but I like the chocolate and dont understand why any Milk should be skimmed and made skinny in the first case. I am revived after the Mocha and Fruit salad. My tip for weight is eat lots of fruit . It has been proven that the Fruit Bat is the greediest Animal in the Zoo in terms of consumption over Body weight, and it can still fly. There are some thoughts i put down on the IPAd in preperation for the Appointment , remind myself of some questions to be asked, go through what has been changing and my circumstances. I tend to be more balanced and Focused about everything now..long may this continue ..but there is life and the things we cannot control   - Second Miranda- By this  time the shops have opened so I take advantage of the large Selection, still Sales Items available. I am very Selective nowadays , and the mones are having the effect that I am more discriminating . the fabrics have got to be soft and make me go mmh thats nice. Time to try somethings on.... I cannot go over board as it is the age of Austerity and I am as affected by the economic situation as most people. Ah Just got time before the appointment .. I try on the Garments in the Ladies Fitting room after being presented with the plastic security key thingy by the Lady attendent. I am slowly getting used to the Multi mirror s front back and side . Unfortunately there an angle that   draws attention to my Thick neck, which has not yet been masked over by my hair growing long. Still its getting better , and not as bad as it once was.  The Jumper with roll neck is very good and has a long body length , extends  passed the bum and billows out a bit there .will go weel with a High Waist Belt[ my prefferedDress fix] breaks the Naturally Straight Body line allows curves to be suggested by the Dress Drape [ I think anyway]. Other throw over long cardy is good also , very Soft and light Purple [colour i like] and the big plus of pockets . I am always on the look out for convenient dresses with pockets , but Choice looks limited. Meanwhile I listen to the 2 Lady Attendents  Chatting ,The young One says something about an instance when she got upset with her  Dad and said  "Listen you dont know what its like to be a Teenage Girl with all these Hormones".  Pleased with Myself as the price was good I go to the older Lady Attendent "How where they ", "Very Good, I think I will take these" I said , I handed over the Plastic Security thingy.."Thank You Sir" She said  0-2 I quickly Paid for the Wooly Jumpers , with card, and Rushed  to the appointment It was my Third Appointment , but they must have changed something on the entrance As I could not locate it I embarrasingly rang them to ask which number . All went well at the appointment .   Afterwards I was reflecting on my reaction to the Miranda instances, and trying to make sure  I have smiley contented type face . This is actually How I feel nowadays , but I am conscious that through the years I default to a scowl which is not friendly , and does not really help me [ ot anyone else for that Matter]. I walk  pass by this small petit Lady Hair swept Back well defined Smiley Cheeks , dressed casually and stylish and warm [ there is still a bit of morning chill]. Afterwards I think Could that Have been Kylie. Well those sort of things dont matter. [ In a past incident  Jose Mourinho bashed my Computer bag whilst rusing to get to the lift in a Hotel in Korea whilst I was on a business trip [ in the boom time]. I did not notice it was him , as he is considerably smaller than my perception   well outside my Radar Screen. ] We are all People , however famous ,however different .   After Appointment . I had a nice Quiet Contemplative Lunch of Tea and a small Sandwich. Eating it slowly Whilst lloking at the Aerial display of Formation Pidgeons  from the window on a high floor in the dept store Coffee shop . I felt relaxed. I went back to the department store to get some girly Running Togs. I like to keep Fit and cross country Running,jogging what ever you like to call it has always been something I do and find comfort it, especially early in the morning when its quiet and still. I found a few pairs that will do me Amazingly I do not get an additional Miranda in the process,    I meander my Way to the bottom floor and go past the Cosmetic dept , lovely Scents. I think I have not really got a good grasp of Make up , too many other things to sort out and occupying my mind . But today is an opportunity. London is not bad in this respect , there is a certain anonymity you can have , afterall There are lots of tall Girls , Lots of varied people Many of the people in London have the attitude " I will only see you once " . I am not trying to draw attention to myself . The mones are certianly making me feel more relaxed. I ask on e of the attendents at he cosmetic counter what is the recommendation for Fair skinned People like me with Auburn hair , and light Eye brows . Sensing a a Sale .. I was made to feel comfortable and seated [ in the middle of a Busy London department Store] and advised wwith a makeover . My eyes where done also , I wish I could do Eyeliner.. Wow thats  good I never thought My face and eyes could look this good . Lesson there is no shame in concealer] It was time to make my way back to the train station to return home . I got off the underground at Embarkment, remembering there was a Costa Coffee shop there. I had a small Mocha , and Blueberry Muffin and was called Madam. [1-2]. I sat close to a Eurpean couple [French and Italian] of my Age talking, The lady was talking about  her Eyesight ,after 40 ,50 and glasses to her partner. She looked at me as I was just putting my glasses back on after cleaning them  ,I smiled , she smiled back.Sometimes theres a reminder We share more in common than our differences. [ The Miranda scores mean nothing  stop counting] I  decided to walk over Jubilee Bridge to Waterloo Station. it winter time now and the suns getting lower. Its been a nice day and the sky has cleared enough to now be warm. I stop halfway across the bridge, look at the water , and shut my eyes toward the sun. Its just Nice to take some time away for yourself occasionally. My mind often adds a sountrack to events , it started to play Waterloo Sunset . This made me feel good . I remember liking english Writing creative essays at school , there was big poster in the class room of Terence Stamp and Juliet Christie."Far from the Madding Crowd". Happy Times... I ambled along to the train station and went home .. A day well spent . time to simply capture it
    6398 Posted by Donna V
  • By Donna V
    So Today , I took a days Holiday  went to London, main reason was see  gender Specialist for routine appointment. Writing now I think I should explain first what a "Miranda" is and How its part of a Transgendered Persons life [ at least M2F]. Miranda Hart is a UK Comedienne [ a GG] quite commonly on Television, See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_Hart Main facet of Mirandas comedy is based on her Physical Image, See You Tube Medley to get the idea http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTf17cmPl0I .  -There it is , delivery Man comes in to Mirandas Pet shop, asks for a signature , Miranda Scribbles , delivery Man says "Thank you Sir" and casually carries on with his job. Miranda just looks to Camera No words ... The expression says " Yes I  get this and not for the first time , not a lot I can do about it, seeing as you have already made up your mind. ". I love this because it is Humour as an education by means of self reflection, not as a harmful  sneer at someone else.   [theres a quote not sure where- If you can laugh at youself you will always be amused].    So you are  trying your best , refining the changes and look. Your Voice is not Great though. --Yes thats me, but I am happy with things. - My first Miranda was getting a Rail Ticket. I asked the Lady at the Ticket Kiosk for an all day Ticket with London Underground pass and paid for it by Card. Possible reason was I handed over the Card [ name not changed] , or Probably Voice. it was early morning.Incidentally I thought I was being wise by buying the Underground ticket  at the start of the journey, as on a Previous Outing London I got a Miranda from the Waterloo Station Ticket office . I thought Image wise I looked alright, clothes selection and Hair are good , and I just tend to be very relaxed, helps the movement.   Before the second Miranda , I walked up and down Oxford Street before 9.30, Shops where not open yet[ it is London afterall]. The early Breakfast cups of Tea had taken their effect, leading me to seek out an early Opening Coffee shop. I prefer Costa Coffee , but settled for Starbucks at the point of Mild desperation. Thats nice , discreet 2 Floor lay out and  Unisex Toilets. , through the Door, ladies  is seperate okay, oh dear a queue..This early!!. At this point in time I am okay ,but did not want to wait in the queue . I guess there is a side to me that says be discreet you just want to fit in and be unnoticed, even if there is a remote chance I dont want anyone to be upset If I am queuing in the ladies. Plan B theres another Starbucks other side of the road, . Had a small Mocha, and Fruit Salad.  Iam sure "Skinny Latte" sounds more feminine than Mocha  , but I like the chocolate and dont understand why any Milk should be skimmed and made skinny in the first case. I am revived after the Mocha and Fruit salad. My tip for weight is eat lots of fruit . It has been proven that the Fruit Bat is the greediest Animal in the Zoo in terms of consumption over Body weight, and it can still fly. There are some thoughts i put down on the IPAd in preperation for the Appointment , remind myself of some questions to be asked, go through what has been changing and my circumstances. I tend to be more balanced and Focused about everything now..long may this continue ..but there is life and the things we cannot control   - Second Miranda- By this  time the shops have opened so I take advantage of the large Selection, still Sales Items available. I am very Selective nowadays , and the mones are having the effect that I am more discriminating . the fabrics have got to be soft and make me go mmh thats nice. Time to try somethings on.... I cannot go over board as it is the age of Austerity and I am as affected by the economic situation as most people. Ah Just got time before the appointment .. I try on the Garments in the Ladies Fitting room after being presented with the plastic security key thingy by the Lady attendent. I am slowly getting used to the Multi mirror s front back and side . Unfortunately there an angle that   draws attention to my Thick neck, which has not yet been masked over by my hair growing long. Still its getting better , and not as bad as it once was.  The Jumper with roll neck is very good and has a long body length , extends  passed the bum and billows out a bit there .will go weel with a High Waist Belt[ my prefferedDress fix] breaks the Naturally Straight Body line allows curves to be suggested by the Dress Drape [ I think anyway]. Other throw over long cardy is good also , very Soft and light Purple [colour i like] and the big plus of pockets . I am always on the look out for convenient dresses with pockets , but Choice looks limited. Meanwhile I listen to the 2 Lady Attendents  Chatting ,The young One says something about an instance when she got upset with her  Dad and said  "Listen you dont know what its like to be a Teenage Girl with all these Hormones".  Pleased with Myself as the price was good I go to the older Lady Attendent "How where they ", "Very Good, I think I will take these" I said , I handed over the Plastic Security thingy.."Thank You Sir" She said  0-2 I quickly Paid for the Wooly Jumpers , with card, and Rushed  to the appointment It was my Third Appointment , but they must have changed something on the entrance As I could not locate it I embarrasingly rang them to ask which number . All went well at the appointment .   Afterwards I was reflecting on my reaction to the Miranda instances, and trying to make sure  I have smiley contented type face . This is actually How I feel nowadays , but I am conscious that through the years I default to a scowl which is not friendly , and does not really help me [ ot anyone else for that Matter]. I walk  pass by this small petit Lady Hair swept Back well defined Smiley Cheeks , dressed casually and stylish and warm [ there is still a bit of morning chill]. Afterwards I think Could that Have been Kylie. Well those sort of things dont matter. [ In a past incident  Jose Mourinho bashed my Computer bag whilst rusing to get to the lift in a Hotel in Korea whilst I was on a business trip [ in the boom time]. I did not notice it was him , as he is considerably smaller than my perception   well outside my Radar Screen. ] We are all People , however famous ,however different .   After Appointment . I had a nice Quiet Contemplative Lunch of Tea and a small Sandwich. Eating it slowly Whilst lloking at the Aerial display of Formation Pidgeons  from the window on a high floor in the dept store Coffee shop . I felt relaxed. I went back to the department store to get some girly Running Togs. I like to keep Fit and cross country Running,jogging what ever you like to call it has always been something I do and find comfort it, especially early in the morning when its quiet and still. I found a few pairs that will do me Amazingly I do not get an additional Miranda in the process,    I meander my Way to the bottom floor and go past the Cosmetic dept , lovely Scents. I think I have not really got a good grasp of Make up , too many other things to sort out and occupying my mind . But today is an opportunity. London is not bad in this respect , there is a certain anonymity you can have , afterall There are lots of tall Girls , Lots of varied people Many of the people in London have the attitude " I will only see you once " . I am not trying to draw attention to myself . The mones are certianly making me feel more relaxed. I ask on e of the attendents at he cosmetic counter what is the recommendation for Fair skinned People like me with Auburn hair , and light Eye brows . Sensing a a Sale .. I was made to feel comfortable and seated [ in the middle of a Busy London department Store] and advised wwith a makeover . My eyes where done also , I wish I could do Eyeliner.. Wow thats  good I never thought My face and eyes could look this good . Lesson there is no shame in concealer] It was time to make my way back to the train station to return home . I got off the underground at Embarkment, remembering there was a Costa Coffee shop there. I had a small Mocha , and Blueberry Muffin and was called Madam. [1-2]. I sat close to a Eurpean couple [French and Italian] of my Age talking, The lady was talking about  her Eyesight ,after 40 ,50 and glasses to her partner. She looked at me as I was just putting my glasses back on after cleaning them  ,I smiled , she smiled back.Sometimes theres a reminder We share more in common than our differences. [ The Miranda scores mean nothing  stop counting] I  decided to walk over Jubilee Bridge to Waterloo Station. it winter time now and the suns getting lower. Its been a nice day and the sky has cleared enough to now be warm. I stop halfway across the bridge, look at the water , and shut my eyes toward the sun. Its just Nice to take some time away for yourself occasionally. My mind often adds a sountrack to events , it started to play Waterloo Sunset . This made me feel good . I remember liking english Writing creative essays at school , there was big poster in the class room of Terence Stamp and Juliet Christie."Far from the Madding Crowd". Happy Times... I ambled along to the train station and went home .. A day well spent . time to simply capture it
    Jan 16, 2012 6398