Thoughts in the middle of transition at work

• Posted by Donna V January 23, 2014 1,077 views
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  Hi All,

     Just thought I would capture some thoughts of the moment as they happen to me. 

  I work for a  company like many others ,its got its structure and you are recognised if you can do your job in a professional respectful way. Since I made my initial declarations at work ,there has been a formation of a small group of people around me . I would recommend consulting a web site and link I found to communicate a basic framework for transitioning at work

  http://www.gendersanity.com/plan.html

   

  I agree with much of what is said there and for me the good thing is the messages are consistent and understandable whether you are transgendered , an employer , or a concerned person who  will have to deal with a transgendered person . In particular timing , and only coming out at work after a period in which you have been recieving professional treatment and guidance on transitiong and just basic time spent in your gender to feel comfortable. On reflection this is allowing some changes physical and behavioural to have occured and been accepted in your life and work.

   

  . I have been very lucky in that my departmental Boss in his past working life  had known Jenny Bailey [ former Mayor of Cambridge , Famous in Uk as first Transgendered Mayor]. I did not know this before making my annoucement. 

  One thing I rapidly started to notice and have to come to terms with is that if the people immediately around you are basically reasonable , and you are too . then be honest and keep your focus on what you need to transition. If you are relaxed about  transitioning they will be too.  

    Keeping your focus is important , because for employers they need to see that your transition will not adversely affect your working . You need to show them that you are respectful of the possible impacts, but be mindful not to inadvertently exaggerate them by dwelling onthe negative minutae. In a word demonstrate that you in your transition  can focus on the important both in your transition and at work. [ ie you are not a problem maker]

    One thing I did pick up on , a kind of sense or feeling , vibe , is that this small group of people really want you to  make this happen for the good  and get to you having transitioned at work as quickly as possible  ,not making it a big issue. After the initial jaw dropping ,they actually move to wanting  to see the real you.

  This means there is responsibility for you not to put distractions in the way.  Be mindful that you might be presenting and communicating yourself as an exception or abstract , so keep things simple and plainly personal on a common human level. For me I really have learnt ,not to go of on a tangent and be distracted over the last 2 months .

  Nuff said , I am getting a  numb bum  sitting and typing ,  need to get some washing done .

  Donna