Confronting the Future

• Posted by Ann Teve March 27, 2008 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs 1,042 views
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  "Why did you leave me waiting and wondering so long?" The question was simple and pointed and pierced my soul. How could I say to her that to let go of her was almost to let go of life itself. My hold has been selfish but not entirely so. 2007 for me was consumed by recover from profound depression, but even now threads of those feelings linger surprised me with tears triggered by a word, a memory or a vision of doubt about my future.
  "If your going to divorce me, then do it." The words and all they meant were out, said by her without discernable emotion or emotion buried in past unseen and unshared tears and heartache. "Okay." was all I could say in reply.
  We spent Monday talking but it has taken me a few days to piece that time together for you. What have I done and why? One part of me wants this all to end, to go back to the way things were but at the same moment I know that they cannot. How can this all be so confusing, so uncertain, so conflicted.
  There is a future out there, I still not certain what it is, or how I'll find it, but I realize now that I am set on the path to find it. People are moving away from me. People are set on their paths, paths curving away from me. If I look to them, I am alone, I have to resolve to my own path, believing that it will bring good people into my life.
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