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Back again. Did you miss me?
I've had an exciting time since my last entry. The eBay feeding frenzy really took hold and I've now got a small wardrobe of stuff in just a short time, not counting the stuff I bought earlier in the year. I bought this when I wanted to start dressing up again but that was curtailled at the time by breaking my foot (stilletos and a fractured metatarsel are not a good comination). Then there was spring and siummer, then holiday, and next thing you know it's late October! Anyway, I've got some real bargains. I also bought some crap that looked OK but was dire when I received the parcel. A case in point was the suit I bought yesterday. Nice colour, a subtle purple (which was accurate in the eBay pic). It arrived, tags inside saying it's from the "Greek Collection". The skirt is lovely, a nice straight pencil, high calf length. But it is NO WAY a 12. I can't do it up by a long measure, and I'm an easy 12. It must be a 10 or even an 8. The jacket is weird too. It is fitted with a flared waist, and would look great, but it is not designed to be fastened. There are double-breast buttons but no button holes, and it must be a good 3 or more inches open when pulled tight. Now I have been to Greece, but I never once saw this sort of suit. Maybe it's the sort of thing they keep indoors. I'm sure I can do something with it though. It's vaguely military looking which admittedly was earlier this year. but with a bit of imagination it could be part of a quirky Boho look.
So as well as populating a wardrobe, I also stepped out for the first time in years. I went to visit a friend, emma, who lives nearby. When I was a regular on the Manchester scene I met Emma there at the Northern Concord and we were great friends. Then I drifted away and didn'tspeak to most of my friends from that era for a while. I kind of kept in touch with Emma, but not frequently. Now I moved to Yorkshire, her home county (yes, she used to motor over the Pennines every week) and we got in touch and I went visiting. Now, leaving the house I was careful: tracky bottoms over my skirt, guy sandals, no wig and got in the car. I drove to a quiet spot on the way and took off the trousers, put on my heels and drove the the rest of the route en femme. I live in a semi in a quiet road, and while I do drive a quite girly car, a Fiat Punto, I (en homme) am the only person seen using it (not surprising as she doesn't drive LOL). On the other hand I am the same height as my wife, my wig is also a blond bob, so could pass as her hair if there was doubt. Anyone knowing us would think it was her getting in the car, especially in the dark, but still you feel a bit paranoid.
Good enough for traffic lights in the dark, but it was totally wrong. In fact, when I arrived at Emma's, I discovered it had been inside out, or upside down. (note to self: never try to put a wig on in the dark). I arrived at the right area and proceeded to drive around a council estate on the outskirsts of Leeds. I wanted to get my hair OK, so tried that, but I then worried about people looking in the car which would have been lit. I was trying to read a streetmap and get an idea where the house was. I drove round loads of times before I found the right place. Then I couldn't remember the house number so had to call. Anyway, I got there, and once I managed to keep my hair on (actually, it was more "put" my hair on properly LOL), we settled down to a lovely natter. Her and her other half, Christine who is also lovely. Damn ,I had forgotten how much I'd missed being a girl (for the night). We chatted about old friends, what we had been up to the last few years. It was fab
I drove home on cloud 9. Yes I decided to leave the Punto there. ONLY JOKING! I was still in the Punto. I had forgotten how much I love being in the community at large as a female. It feels so much more, not "right" as such, but (for want of a better term) fluid. Like it flows with me, smooth and seamless. Like it resonates with something inside. Cards on the table, genderwise, my internal perception of myself is me, not male or female, just me. I fall in the middle in those online gender surveys. Always. Maybe I'm just wooly minded and wet and always have to sit on the fence, but it is how I score. OK, no-one should put too much meaning into those surveys, as much as they should those Cosmo personality quiz, but that is how I come out. Saying that, if there had been a tickbox to choose your gender I would have gone for female. Maybe that's just vagina/womb/ovary envy in a frustrated man, but again it's how I feel. On the other hand, I am born male and can't do anything about it. Or at least, certainly not what it would take to become the woman of my dreams LOL
OK I should go to bed!
