New to transgender Introduction

  • click to rate

    Hello, I am actually just coming out of my closet and starting to be honest with myself about my desires to be more feminine and female in appearance.  I have done many small things over the years like wear girls socks, polish my toenails (almost always painted now), wear women's shoes, boots.  I just ordered my first set of breastforms from the breastform store along with a bra.  I went with the gold seal premium attachable triangles as recommended by Nancy on the staff there.  They were very helpful and I feel that since I plan on at least dressing for a looong time I wanted to get good high quality forms.  I could use advice on the best type of gaffs for daily use and feminizing hormones/herbals.  I want the soft skin and curves and we'll see where it goes from there.  I have an appointment booked for a full makeover (my very first) at a transgender specialty salon and I am excited about it.  No I don't expect to look like a model but I think it is a good way for me to start my journey getting a professional female makeover by a person who specializes in making men look like women.  I'll post later and let you all know how it goes. 

    In the meantime I am interested in transgendered literature about dressing and being more feminine in general.  If anyone has some for sale (reasonably priced) I might be interested.  No I am not rich and I work for a living.  I am newly outing myself and being honest with myself about my personal issues.  I don't think I am a female trapped in a male body but a part of me is definitely female and my body isn't.  I am a male that wants to be or wishes that he was female.  I see pictures of good looking or nicely dressed women and I want that to be me and to look like that.  I don't instantly think "gosh I want to get in her pants."  I want to be her or at least like her.  I want the dresses, the shoes, the nails, the hair, ect.  I don't know where that puts me on the transgender scale but in a nutshell that is who I am.  Maybe I am kidding myself or delusioned but that is how I have always felt.  I have never met anyone with the same issues that I could discuss this topic openly with.  I identify as male but I want to be female.  So maybe that is what I will always be is a wannabe but I am who I am.  I am sexually attracted to genetic women and not men.  I think women are beautiful and graceful and close to divine and wish to at least emulate that in my being.  Perhaps it will always be fantasy, as I grew up male and will always have a male mentality and the brians of males and females are structured differently.  I cannot nor can any other man KNOW what it is to be a genetic female because you just are not one.  We can get as close as possible and chase the dream or we can just be honest that we envy women to some degree.  I need the help and support of like minded individuals on this board to be successful in my own journey.  If what I have typed here strikes a resounding chord with you then feel free to share with me your own personal experiences in dealing with  transgender issues.  My name is Karen and I'm just starting my journey.