My marriage has reached the end of the road. My gender issues have presented an insurmountable obstacle which we cannot get through. It isn't fair to force my wife to be a lesbian when she isn't. She is going to give me time to save up some money and move out on my own. I have now made my pain her pain and ruined her dreams of growing old together. I couldn't dream of anything but my own selfish desire to be female. Yes it seems so selfish to me and always has had. What person would give up a wife and family that he loves dearly to chase after a far fetched dream? I have to think that that person is mentally ill. That person is me. I could try to suppress or ignore being trans for a while just to get some more time together, but I would be lying again. The funny thing is my wife asked me in 2003 to choose between this fantasy or her. She then said I don't want to be the fool who gets strung along for ten years and then you change your mind. I picked her. It has now almost been ten years. I couldn't accept that I was trangendered then I didn't want to believe it. Just a crossdresser right? Right. Liar. Being honest is the hard part because we lead a life of dishonesty with and about ourself. That naturally translates to being dishonest about these issues to avoid the truth of them. The pain and hurt that I have caused her is horrible. Now we will have to tell my beautiful boys what is going on with daddy. I get to look them in the eye and tell them that I want to be a woman. I am not looking forward to that moment. So I have told my truth and now I will get to pay the price for it along with the rest of my family, extended family, friends and co-workers. Who would choose such a life? I guess I did. I need help and support during this traumatic time of unknown length. Thanks K
September 8, 2012- -
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September 13, 2012- -
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November 21, 2012- -
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