First Time Out Part 2

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    FRIDAY (CONTINUED)

    We made our way to the bar, Monique, Faye and I, and being the only Scottish one there, I was forced to buy a drink. I nearly fainted when the price for 3 drinks came to £20.60. we were all staring at each other thinking what a short night it was going to be at these prices when the girl behind the bar came over and apologised saying she’d overcharged by £10.00… phew!

    Pink punters was an amazing place..designated smoking areas for those of us who have the nasty habit, dancefloors buzzing with people and quieter areas for chattin. And most importantly..incredibly well staffed with security! That made me feel very safe indeed! They were everywhere and theres a security control room that wouldn’t look out of place in the Pentagon.

    We headed upstairs to the quiet area and sat down to take it all in. remember id never ever been outside “en femme” before and here I was sitting in a nightclub dressed to the nines fully made up and lookin glam! The feeling was brilliant, so relaxed and yet so exciting at the same time if that makes sense. After ages talking we headed downstairs to check out the rest of the club and ended up in a dance area..it was pretty quiet at this time so it was safe for Faye and Mon to “throw some shapes”.. as for myself I cant dance but managed to sway from side to side a little, in my perfect impersonation of a slightly tipsy Scottish woman.

     

    We had been warned about “predatory Admirers” you know..the kind of guy who goes for T girls. Im glad (and a little offended lol) to say that no one bothered us..except for a fast moving midget whose chat up line was “how do I get out of here?” followed by a sharp pull on Fayes arm. It was nearing dawn by the time we decided to leave and..guess what..they serve food! I was starving, so bought a chicken burger and chips to take back to the hotel. We walked back still on a high and said our goodnights before retiring and getting prepared for Saturday.

     

    SATURDAY

     

    I awake with that feeling you sometimes get..”where the hell am I and why do I have a chicken burger on my pillow?” yeah you all bin there. Saturday morning and im not as hungover as I should have been, in fact im feeling fine! Must have been running on adrenaline for the whole of Friday, but now im almost chilled. I shower and don’t have the courage to get dressed femme..so I put on a teeshirt and jeans and nip outside for a ciggie. The weather is gorgeous..i haven’t seen the sun since 2011 (august the 14th   between the hours of 3 and 3:20 pm) and its so warm! I head back to my room and have another snooze (this time without the chicken burger for company). When I awake a short time later, I decide not to be chicken, and put on my make up and a rather summery dress (told you it was warm) and a cardigan.The girls are up and we arrange to meet and go to the hotel lounge for coffee/tea.  After all my courage in putting on a dress..im delighted to see Faye and Mon are wearing jeans…thanks girls! (they were lookin glam as well though).

     

    We head down to the lounge and no one looks twice..i love this place! There are another few T girls milling around and for once..im not the tallest! We sit and chat..have a really good laugh and I order a wine. Jaquie is due to arrive around noon and texts Monique to say she is lost (shes drivin fronYorkshire). After about half an hour she texts to say shes arrived and we all bundle out into the carpark to meet her. Shes blonde and glamorous and exactly like the person id met in the GS chatroom only a few months earlier. The one thing about Jaquie is that she goes around with a permanent smile on her face all the time and its very contagious!

    We get her booked in and head back to the lounge for a catch up and more laughs. I let it be known that I forgot to bring eyelashes and before I can argue..its been decided that we all go on a shopping trip to Boots which is in a retail park just up the road. To be honest it then becomes a bit of a blur for me..i have no time to think about it..one minute we are in the hotel, the next we are all walking into a busy shop on a Saturday afternoon..and im fully dressed! Jaquie goes wandering off looking at everything, I don’t recall where faye went but Monique and I choose some lashes and head for the checkout. Im beginning to feel nervous for the first time since id left home..safe environments are one thing but this is real..what if someone points and laughs? But they don’t..the girl at the checkout is determined to tell me about vouchers,,clubcards and every offer from now till Christmas..all I can do is nod smile and try to be natural. I pay and head towards the door and then it hits me..im standing alone..Mon and Faye have went away to look at make-up, Jaquie is elsewhere..im all by myself in a busy shop with lots of people around..and I freeze. Without the support of my friends around me I panic and feel incredibly vulnerable, I want to run back to the car but my legs wont move. I hang on to one arm with the other and just stand there petrified.. Faye spots me from across the shop and takes in the situation at a glance, she hurries over and gently leads me out while the others follow.. my ordeal is over..i try to have a laugh about it but im still shaking.

     

    Back to the hotel and the French waiter asks if madam would like a refill, im staring into space before I realise he is talking to Me! I relax immediately knowing im back in a friendly place with my support group (lol). But ive learned a lesson. In the shop no one laughed or pointed..there was no abuse..im sure I saw a couple of people hurry out of the way but definitely no confrontation..if anything, my body language as I stood at the door would have been cause for a second look.

     

    Vikki is due to arrive around 5 o clock, she phones me and we get all excited because she is such a laugh on the GS site and i cant wait to meet her. She doesn’t disappoint, within 15 seconds of her arriving, im laughing so much, she is vibrant relaxed (this was her first time too! I couldn’t believe it) and ready to have fun. We get her checked in..and after another wine , we order some food before its time to get ready for the club. I have a burger that sits in my stomach like a lead weight but it tasted ok.

     

     

    We arrange to meet back downstairs at a time I cannot recall (I’m fading at this point) and I lay on my bed to have forty winks.. I sink into a deep deep sleep and awake with a start not knowing what time it is.. I need to have a shower, cleanse my face properly and start again.. already im hurrying.. into the shower..take off the nail varnish..cleanse…moisturise..clean teeth..foundation…suddenly the foundation doesn’t look as good as it did..is it because im hurrying? I cleanse it and have another shave (though I don’t need one) just to be sure. I start again..thats better..eyeliner is ok.. normally I hide my eyebrows using a certain technique and “draw” others in..but tonight it doesn’t work..my eyebrows refuse to disappear..im shaking with nerves..lipstick is fine..a little blusher..earrings are fine…but thise eyebrows!! Grrrr I hate the way I look right now. Theres a knock at the door. Its faye wondering if everything is ok..she sees my distress and tries to calm me down, but im sooo angry with the way this is going (not at her) she decides to withdraw gracefully telling me to meet her downstairs. I look in the mirror and decide to start again..geeez! Now I will never try to hurry my wife up when shes getting ready to go out!  This time I decide to leave the eyebrows alone (though im not happy at all about it) its not my look but what choice do I have?  I had bought beautiful nails and when I try them on..they don’t stick..my hands are shaking, im pretty upset..i leave them in the box and put on nail polish instead. Faye comes knocking again,, all the girls have been in the bar for ages wonderin where I was. Im as ready as ill ever be and we go downstairs together…. Faye is being so complimentary but I don’t hear the compliments..i see my eyebrows in every reflection and hate them, and now my burger is making noises in my stomach and I feel ill.

     

    We head over to the club and its heaving!! The queue is a mile long..im very quiet..looking at all thses people I have lost my confidence again..ive hit the wall as far as energy levels go and when I go to the cashpoint it tells me I have insufficient funds.

    Deep breath!

    I try again at the cashpoint..this time im successful. I must have hit a wrong button the first time. The girls have reached the front of the queue and wave me in with them..so we head upstairs and get a drink…a girl approaches and everyones talking to her ..not me..i still feel ill… faye asks her to take a group picture and she obliges…looking back at that picture now, I look like a right miserable cow! (all because of my eyebrows lol). We head upstairs and by now the girls are worried about me…Debs hasn’t shut her mouth since she got off the plane but now…shes very quiet. I ask for a bottle of water and sip it slowly. I feel terrible. Looking around the table though im incredibly happy also.

    Jaquie, Vikki, Monique and Faye look absolutely fantastic and sooo excited! I cant help but smile..Jaquie is smiling as always..Vikki is buzzing with energy.Monique is smiling and asking about me and Faye..well Faye is being Faye..shes concerned about me too.

    Im determined not to spoil a minute of these girls time so I tell them ill be fine and hope its true..at this point I feel awful for feeling awful!

    But the gods have taken pity on me and after my bottle of water I begin to feel better..i begin to chat more..the stomach pains go away and im back!

    We drink, go outside for smokes, watch people, chat more..Monique and I have the most deep conversations about our lives  very touching for both of us..i tell her that ive watched her blossom in the course of the weekend..she has come out of herself and is one amazing girl. I hug Vikki and cannot help but push her hair out of her eyes everytime I sit next to her (she keeps flicking it over her face!) I remember that I forgot my perfume when I left the hotel and vikki offers me some..its called “BobbiBrown-Beach” I rub some on my wrists just as faye returns from the bar and says “whats that smell? Its like Cillit Bang, Cif or Jif! (all detergents). Yeah it smells very lemony..we immediately rename it Bobbi Brown Bleach! Girls..if your ever worried about the unwanted advances of admirers…just dab a spot of this on, no one came near me all night! (thankfully).

     

    A young beautiful girl who is the drunkest person ive ever seen attaches herself to Jaquie and is talking utter nonsense. When we return from a smoke..she looks at me and im expecting some “you’re a bloke” comment when she leans over and says loudly  “APOSTROPHE”  wtf??  What does that mean?...her next word to me is “RETROSPECTIVELY”…again im nonplussed…Vikki is rolling around laughing but neither of us has a clue what shes on about.. her friend comes and drags her away and we think shes goin home…but hours later when we are leaving we spot her still going strong…ahh to have the staying power of youth!!

     

    On Friday night I wore my black heeled sandals (3 inch) but tonight I have on the killer heels (5 inch)  my feet are aching so I take them off for a minute…bliss!  Only drawback is..ill have to put them on again. I give it half an hour before I do so and its not so bad..the copious amounts of vodka are helping numb the pain. We decide to head downstairs for a boogie but the place is so crammed we give up before faye has even had a chance to spin on her back. We head back to the upstairs bar and I get my first experience of an”admirer” I called him beer belly billy and hes just standing staring at me..i look away and ignore him. He gets the message and wobbles off in search of easier game.(shoulda given him fayes number). We are all sitting chillin when “admirer” number two arrives and plonks himself at the next table..this guy could be an advert for a serial killer and his glassy stare as he looks slowly around our table is very disconcerting..he asks us to watch his drink while he goes to the loo…he returns picks up the drink and sits next to our table on a stool…silent and creepy! We all ignore him and we experience what Genetic Girls go through on occasion..to be stared at like a piece of meat..being sized up, and having unwanted attention..if I was in Boy mode, id have told him to get lost, but im not..and I don’t have the confidence for confrontation. Like beer belly Billy, he gets the message and slopes off.

     

    The night is drawing to a close and we head downstairs to my favourite burger bar (not another chicken burger debs! What happened to the last one?)  Monique stands in the queue waiting while I stand further down getting a drink. The young barman is all..”what’ll it be babes?” And im laughing cos im still not used to it..as its getting quieter, we start talking..hes very polite and tells me that he saw me in the previous night. Hes gay and had only just started dressing a few weeks previously..i ask him why? He says he frequents this club on his nights off and didn’t want to be recognised all the time so he had a go at dressing cos it seemed like a laugh..im looking at him thinking…nahh mate sometimes it aint a laugh..sometimes its marriage and relationship destroying, family splitting violence inducing madness.. but I say nothing. He shows me a picture on his phone of his first attempt and I almost drop the phone. The picture is of a beautiful young woman who reminds me of Tia Carerra (google her). Absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and this is his first attempt?  I resist the urge to throw his phone into the fire and instead show the pic to the other girls..we are all complimenting him and hes kinda lovin it (who could blame him lol).

    Meanwhile Monique is in deep conversation with a straight guy who doesn’t go for T girls but loves the club for the same reasons we have come to love it..acceptance and no (or very little) trouble. We finish our drinks and head out.

    Im the one determined to make it all the way back in heels and I succeed! (go me!) that’s been….around 17 hours in heels and ive made it without fallin on my arse once!

     

    We are all painfully aware that this is the end of the adventure..there are tears in the corridor as we say goodnight and I decide to start packing straight away..this time the chicken burger gets eaten.

    The next morning im back in Drab..im in the carpark talking to my wife on the phone, telling her all about the weekend when blonde jaquie exits the hotel..im waving frantically but she gives me a funny look and walks on…then she does a double take and comes back..i realise shes never seen me in Boy mode before and must have thought I was some creepy guy!

    We all congregate in the carpark in boy mode (except jacquie who is drivin home glam style). We tell each other how we enjoyed it..there are no false niceties here..genuine friendships have been forged and I can honestly say that I loved the experience it was truly magical!  It may be that due to circumstances I never get the opportunity to repeat it but at least I can look back on those days and smile knowing that Debbie was loved by good friends and……………. I had a Blast xxx

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