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  • 04 Sep 2016
    Hi gang, It's been way over a year since my surgery (Feb 10, 2015 - I'll never forget this date!) and only just gotten around to experimenting with stimulating myself. Of course my depression has a lot to do with that, bc depression, and the Rx's for it, contribute to low Lobito. Anyway, maybe it is all the attractive women I see at work, but I became aroused last week, and began, umm, experimenting! Now much of what I am going to say comes from a discussion with my surgeon afterwards, because I did not know how an orgasm for a post-op GRS patient manifests itself. My first feeling was the feeling one gets with an erection, not surprising since my clitoris is made from the head of my penis; this is also the feeling a cis woman gets. But the climax is really just mental, bc there is no "ejaculation" anymore, nor is there any fluid discharged from the neo-vagina. The neo-vagina is a "dead-end" cavity that does not secrete any fluid or lubrication the way a natal vagina does. The fluid that drained out next to my finger was just warmed-up, less viscous gel lube I had used. You do have a euphoric feeling afterward, which I have not been able to repeat the second, and only, subsequent time I tried. It was disappointing not being able to repeat the "orgasm"and I haven't had the urge again yet to try again. Well, maybe that woman will come into the store again....my reason for experimenting. I think she likes me. Yikes!
    1898 Posted by robin w
  • 04 May 2013
    Hello everyone! I am writing from my private room in this "prison compound", waiting for a carpet guy to show up to measure for rooms upstairs. This remodeling has taken a toll on my patience, as well as having a houseguest. Trying to get my house on the market is a challenge because I have such an optimistic view of how much carpentry/painting I can get done after work and weekends. It always takes longer!   Bbut my real reason for blogging this morning is to catch you all up on what has been happening. As you know, my best friend/remodel helper/houseguest does not know I am trans, nor am I able to tell him because of his strong anti-GLBT attitude, never midn his strict allegience to Rush Linbaugh. So it has been very hard on me to be "me", having to change in my car on teh way to shopping, appointments, or just out to have a littel "me" time. Hiding my wardrobe (ever increasing in size!) is also a challenge, as stuff is moved room to room as we finsih them off with paint and clearing out junk. It is not often I have a chance to visit GS, as he is always coming in and telliing me of the latest mistake the Democratic party has made. "Google it so yuo can see how they have "effed" up!", etc, etc. He went out of town last night, so I was able to try on one new outfit, but did not go out because it was really a "daytime" look and did not feel like changing. And I did not have anyplace to go, except shopping, and I am waiting until I lose 10 pounds before I treat myself to some black "strappy" heel to go with a new dress I bought! What restraint and self-control! I DO try to keep up with all  my friends on GS, but have so much to catch up on I do not always leave a not that I was here. i am thinking of all of you, Traci,  Jessica, Crysti, Lizbeth,   Shqannon, Sairah, to mention just a few. Love you all and send out major positivve vibes that my house sells quickly, and for lots of money! -Robin xoxo
    1437 Posted by robin w
  • 22 May 2012
    Hi race fans,   I race a Honda RS125 (single cylinder 2-stroke)  at Louden New Hampshire. I've been at this for a long time and is very hard to quit - tried several times when I was unemployed. Anyway I got up there this weekend - here is the story:   My transport/sleeping quarters van was packed Thurs nite. Got home a little from work and finished packing and off to market to get food and stuff. While at the market, I ran into someone from the gun club and we talked a minute, then off to checkout. I picked up a copy of "Glamour" mag and put it on the conveyor belt and teh rest of the groceries and guess who comes in line right behind me? Gun club guy!!! What are the chances, really!? Anyway I distract him talking, looking at him right in the eye and casually take teh magazine that had been scanned by clerk in my cart. He didn't see it - wow!     On the road two hours to the track, there by 9PM. Unload bike, lay out sleeping bag and am asleep quickly. Wake up at 6AM, coffee and then off to get my new helmet, get bike inspected and ready for practice. Since cylinder was "new", I take it easy for a few laps, then I could ring the RS's neck. It seemed really strong and fast.            My race was about 2PM, warm and sunny, about 80F. There are 7 other RS's in my class, 125GP. There are two other classes racing at the same time, for a total of about 30 riders. But I am only competing against the other 7 125's. Flag drops and I am off to a good start (for a change) leaving everyone except 2 RS's in front of me. I never look back, I only know if someone is about to pass when I see a wheel at my knees. I see a wheel come up one me in turn 1 after the first lap, then it disappears - I don't see it again. The race goes 8 laps, and I see the crossed flag that signals the race is half complete - 4 laps to go and no sign of anyone. Two laps later this guy Roland passes me in turn 1 (where the f**k did HE come from??).  I know we have 2 laps to go so I am patient; there are 2 favorite places I like to pass. We cross start finish and see a white flag, last lap! He leaves me no room in T1 to pass, but he is slow thru T1A and I get a fast drive out of T2, then a 100 yard dash to T3, a uphill hairpin turn. I pass him on the inside halfway to T3, and he stays with me on the "line", the best way thru the turn. I outbrake Roland, meaning I go deeper into the turn before braking, so his front wheel is about even with my back wheel.....I am in so fast and tight, I end up using the whole width of the pavement to make the turn, almost grazing my elbow I am leaned over so far to make the turn. This forced poor Roland to probably hit the brakes going uphill - on a 2-stroke! Instant loss of speed. Sorry, Roland, that's racing. Anyway I hit the gas hard and scream uphill then down into the bowl, down to 2nd gear, lightly touching my knee on the pavement and short-shift into 3rd, then 4th, slightly uphill right, to a fast left hander, then just 50 feet to an "off camber" (track is banked away from you, not ideal!) downhill right, then a bunch of chicanes (series of small turns) to a "bus stop" 90 degree left turn onto the straightaway. Still not looking behind, head down behind fairing glass, winding the, er, umm, really revving the life out of the poor engine, to the checkered flag. Third place! I felt a little bad about "closing the door" on old Roland, but 3rd is nicer. And 17th overall out of 30 or so starters. Not bad considering the other classes were 500cc to 650cc bikes. So a great first race weekend. Here is a pic of me I had someone take for me (T2 I think) and my van, which I have to drive to, well, wherever I go.....what do people think when they see me, Robin, getting in this?? -Robin xoxo  ps: photos are not showing up in the blog space so I'll have to post on home page, so all members can see them : ) ps: That doesn't work either - network too busy? You've seen pics of motorcycles anyway.... : /
    962 Posted by robin w
  • 24 Feb 2015
    Well friends, i have finally returned from surgery in PA. After surgery. in my hotel room adjacent my MD's office (i had two follow appts w/ her, so stayed close by), i was feeling a bit nauseaus from anti-biotics and could not find anything to eat that appealed to me. A box of jelly donuts lay unopened (yuk), bangers and mash did not sound so good. Ahha! Pizza! I called to have a pizza delivered adb anxiously waited its delivery. One slice up to my mouth, one bite....nope, this was not on the menu tonight. So the pizza and donuts stayed stacked on a table for a day or two before the sight of the boxes made me sick, so out into the bed of my pickip truck they went.         I left for home on Friday, exactly one week after surgery. It is a long 6-hour drive from PA to Mass, and I stopped in CT at a rest area with a restaurant and gasoline service. I lay in the front seat for 40 min to get off my sore butt area, then got a coffee. As i exited the shop i noticed a mass of seagulls swarming about the parking lot. "OMG! The pizza!" As i got to my truck, there were at least 10 - 12 gulls IN the back of my truck, trying to hoist a fully frozen platter of 7 slices of a pie, or a frozen jelly donut (must have been 8oz each they were so big!), and dozebs flying above. I shooed them into the lot, cars beeping at them as they walked about the lot, not wanting to leave the pizza i had thrown into the parking lot lanes like a frizbee! Luckily, no "stains" on my truck from the little fellows. It looked like  a scene out of "The Bird's!"    -Robin
    954 Posted by robin w
Society Girl's Personal Blogs 345 views Jun 10, 2016
GRS:one year later, my thoughts
Actually, it was one year Feb 10, but twice my wifi went out and my blog was not saved! So here I go again: Pick your surgeon carefully. Talk to people who have used the surgeon you like. Were they happy with results? How many follow ups? Are they covered under your surgery fee? How far away? I say bring, drag, bribe, a friend to come with you - you will need him/her. I did it alone, but was very difficult. You are in hospital almost a week, on morphine most likely (yes, it hurts!) And thé affects of it are still felt days later. I don't remember stopping to fill up before driving to New Hope. Bring undies that are snug enough to keep a maxi pad in place. You will be on your back almost all the time, I brought a couple pairs of scrub pants, easy to get on and off. Plan on throwing some undies away from bleeding, minor bleeding. You will be on antibiotics and may become a bit sick, and not feel like eating much. So much for surgery, what about after? How do you feel? Good question. I think my face is still a little "guy-ish" and every encounter with a ciswoman is a question mark. I'm always wondering if they know. At yoga class, they know I'm not a guy because you can't hide anything in yoga tights! As I posted in some other posts or blogs, at one job I had, nobody questioned my gender. Yet at my next job, and BTW, we had a cross dresser on our staff (he doesn't pass very well), I was outed by a few women pretty quickly. That was a bummer for me. Also, we have to wear unflattering t-shirts to work, which does not allow you much left to feminize your outfit. I could wear more feminine clothing at my previous job. Some customers would refer to me as "him/he" just to let me know I wasn't fooling them. Mostly women in their 50's, young people are very accepting. I pass 99% of the time....nobody says anything to me, just a sideways look! Yes, it hurts! Acceptance as a trans woman by women is an unknown. I do know my yoga peeps treat me as one of the gang. Anytime anyone has commented on big shoulders: "I'm a surfer, I paddle and swim a lot!" That works. My ability to work on cars: "I was a helicopter mechanic in the Air Force!" Have I ever regretted having surgery? Yes. I'm financially strapped because my insurance co wiggled successfully out of paying because my MD was not part of their plan network. This is not unusual because there are only about a dozen MD qualified to do GRS between US and Canada. I see so many beautiful women at work, and I will never be like that. That gets me depressed sometimes (I have major depression and Anxiety disorder, and ADD) and I say I'm ugly and maybe I'll get a "butch" kind of haircut and be a trans-man! So no matter what pronoun people use I won't be offended! I think this job is bad bc I can't make myself LOOK like a woman. The t-shirt just looks sloppy no matter what you do. And I feel like it makes me look like a guy. That goes to work on my anxiety, which affects my ADD. After surgery, body fat definitely shifted to my hips and butt. Now a lot of my size 4 jeans don't fit! I have prob half a dozen pair, plus as many shorts! So I'm trying to lose five more lbs...I gained a little over twelve after surgery. I could not go back to work for eight or ten weeks. This is major surgery, five hours or so. Huge cut from anus up each side of your leg joint up to almost even with your navel. Big flap of skin! Hope this helps. Pm me with any questions! I could go on and on, but I've hit the major points I think. My surgery was on a Tuesday, I was discharged on Friday, saw my MD on Monday, and again Thursday before I could go home. Many days in the motel on my back watching TV. That's it. Bring a friend, your will need him,her to run errands, get food when you start to feel hungry. Help driving if you drive. You don't want to sit too long. I did, no problem with the hoo-ha, but very sore! Robin

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