Sisters, daughters, and one big happy family

I loved Saturday night, from start to finish. Trans-mission in Manchester was packed, even more people than there were at the London event 2 weeks ago. It's so great to walk into a room full of girls who all have something very important in common, they all seem like your friends and you instantly feel at home. I didn't have to wait until we got to the club for that though; we went for a drink in the hotel bar beforehand and the place had been taken over by T-girls. Lovely. There were 10 T-web members there so we made quite an impact. Four of the girls I'd met before, and I want to take this opportunity to say that I really love those girls now. They are all so supportive and such fun to be with; it means a lot to me to have friends like that. I've been on my own with this thing all my life, dressing on my own, no-one to share it with, no-one to go out with, no-one to see the inner me. In that sense I'm still discovering myself. I've always put on a pretence, and I've never had the chance to interact with people when I'm feeling, whole, happy, and just plain me. It doesn't seem to have any difficulty getting out though, the real me, just seems natural, but it is kind of like there's a whole new person inside of me that's always been there but has never had chance to speak. Or laugh or dance or flirt or do the things that Lucy does. I'm going to have to be careful though that I don't get a bad reputation; Jules thinks there should be a new dictionary definition of the word Lucy, I can see it now:- Lucy (n.) A flirtatious woman, a tart. (To do a Lucy: To behave in a flirtatious manner). Yeah all right Ju Ju fair comment. Truth is Lucy just wants to have fun and be friendly and playful, and is a very tactile person. She certainly doesn't mean anyone any harm, and she does have a serious side, though after half a bottle of vodka you're not likely to see much of that. (I ought to have stopped after half a bottle but, well, lets just call it letting my hair down ok?) The dancing was good, the music they played was generally more familiar to me than last time so I didn't need to be dragged onto the dance floor, and like any girl I love expressing myself in that way. They even played some Abba! I always wanted to be Agnetha, but I've now decided that perhaps the blue eyeshadow doesn't quite suit me after all. I need to experiment with the make-up though, and get some more practice. Pippa and I treated ourselves to a makeover with Sammy, who came to our room to do it, and then Pippa painted my nails. How lovely to be pampered like that; how wonderful I remarked, to be able to share in our girlyness, such a contrast to what we'd had to put up with in our previous lives, when we felt we had to be cool, stand-offish, and do stupid things like play rugby at school. Though in the sixth-form we did have the option of playing hockey, I even got into the school team (not because I was good, but because there weren't many lads who would dare to do something so non-macho), I played right-wing, same as my mum had done in her school team. When she told me that I got an incredible warm feeling inside, to be following in my mother's footsteps, it seemed to mean something, though it wasn't the only thing we already had in common; she was an actress, and I did 10 years of youth theatre. With one or two remarkable achievements, if I may say so myself. I always identified with my mum, and was never as close to my dad. I used to sit and watch her cook, which has certainly helped me now I live on my own, and was amazed at her patience doing baskets full of ironing. I tell her I hate ironing, which is true unless I'm doing skirts or dresses, then I love it. I'd like to be able to tell her that one day, and show her how much she means to me in more ways than she realises. I want her to know that I'm not a boring bloke who does nothing at weekends, and show her that I do have things to talk about, news to share, and the odd bit of juicy gossip. I'd like her to meet Lucy and get to know the real me, and see that I'm even more lovely than she thought, for I always feel that I'm holding back, even though we do get on great and always have a good natter. I know if I did it would be a shock, she'd probably be upset, think she'd failed me, but of course that's not the case, she's been a perfect mother. Just wish I could be the perfect daughter, if a little naughty at times. I seem to have digressed from Trans-mission night, maybe I'll give you more details tomorrow or maybe I'll decide that you don't want to know. Actually I wasn't that bad, not at all, and at least I can remember it all this time. At least I hope no-one's going to remind me of any terribly embarrassing things I might have got up to. One thing's for sure - it was fun!