Angel of the North

I often feel blogging helps me to work through my feelings and emotions. Since Friday my emotions have been too all over the place to even do that. It feels like I have been spinning plates on sticks and they are slowly coming to rest, all at different times. So many emotional plates spinning at once, difficult to deal with any one in particular, but I think I’ve caught them all now, before any fell off and broke.

I left my job at the weekend. I told you I’d had a bad day on Friday didn’t I. Well it wasn’t just a one-off, the job just didn’t suit me and it had been getting me down for some time. All other aspects of my life seem to have improved dramatically over the last few months, but this part was getting steadily worse, and it had to go. I don’t want to go into too many details, it would only bore you to bits anyway, but there are various complications that came with the job, and leaving wasn’t an easy decision to make. But I am taking control of my life now, whereas before I allowed myself to be controlled by whatever was going on around me, and I have to do this for me. It’s a positive step, and though I’m not sure in which direction, I know it’s not backwards, and I certainly can’t stand still anymore in a place I don’t want to be. I have enough savings to be able to pay the bills for a few months, so I’m not going to rush into the first dead-end job I can get. Oh no. I’ve spent many years of my life being a starving musician, or at least a little peckish, so maybe I’ll try that again for a while, who knows.All that has caused quite a few inner conflicts, which left me spinning, as well as the plates, but it wasn't all bad last weekend, for an angel appeared unto me and spaketh: "Hiya Luce, how you doing babe?" she said, in a strange, slightly Liverpudlian accent. For behold, ‘twas the Angel Pippa who had descended from St. Heavens to bring me a message of great joy. And a few nice dresses to try on too.

What a night we had. First time I’d had a girlfriend over, first time I’d got dressed and made-up at home and not been on my own. It was verging on a religious experience. We talked and talked about anything and everything, and largely about all things girly. Pippa painted my nails, we swapped our best dresses, it was lovely. We drank Champagne (birthday present – waiting for a special occasion), and Australian Chardonnay (oaky, with a hint of vanilla), and of course vodka and cokes! I cooked us risotto with bacon and asparagus, served with a green salad. (Is anyone jealous yet?!) We took lots of pics (see new album), curled up on the sofa, went for a walk up the road at about 3 in the morning, waving at the occasional car as they passed. Well I waved anyway. I shouldn’t be so flirty, at least not to passing traffic in the middle of the night; one lorry slowed right down after I waved, and who can blame him? Two gorgeous, slightly tipsy girls in lovely dresses… Fortunately he didn’t stop, and we didn’t have to run home in our heels. It was a super night, and I’m so grateful to my angelic sister Pippa for making the journey to be with me. I hope you felt suitably pampered Pip, I know I did.

It was simply the best night I’ve ever had in my own home. Wild rock and roll parties do not compare to a quiet girly night in with your best friend/sister/angel. It made me really happy, and that got me through the difficult inner conflicts that I had to deal with for the rest of the weekend. I know I wouldn’t have been able to cope so well had my spirits not been so uplifted, so thank you Pip just for being yourself, and for doing so at Lucy’s house.