New friends, old enemies

My brother has been up to visit for the weekend, something which I don’t especially look forward to. It means I have to go out to the pub with him and pretend to be blokey, not my favourite pastime. Inevitably he always tells me I’ve been on my own too long and I should get a girlfriend and I should go out more. If only he knew about my girlfriends and my jaunts down to London and Manchester. Would the shock silence him, or would he just give me a hard time for living this ridiculous crazy life? No doubt he would tell me I’m not transgendered, I only think I am, and I shouldn’t do this it’s not good for me blah blah. He’d be wrong of course, and he’d be in for an earful if tried to tell me what’s best for me here. It annoys me when people try to tell me what’s best for me. What they are really telling me is what would be best for themselves if they were in my situation, but they’re not me, nor are they in my situation. It all comes back to my philosophy – be yourself, express yourself the way you feel you need to. To deny your true feelings will only bring you torment. For someone to tell me that I should "be" a different person, that I shouldn’t behave the way I choose to, is utterly ridiculous. I’ve learnt that when my family start going down that route, telling me what’s best, it’s simplest just to back down and agree with them at least to a certain extent; not easy to do when they’re talking nonsense but it avoids any unnecessary arguments. It’s a battle I can’t win as long as they don’t know the truth about me, so it’s pointless trying to fight it without being able to use the proper ammunition, ie who I am and why I need to live my life this way. If they did know about me, they could fight me all they want; I would never back down, and they wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m not at war with any of my family, it’s just that while we were down the pub last night I was told who I should be, where I should go, who my friends should be and what I should do with my life. Ridiculous. So there, I just had to get that off my chest.

So anyway I thought it was going to be a pretty drab and dreary weekend, but you know, living this life can be full of surprises. After meeting the other Lucy the other week, her girlfriend, Annette started chatting to me and Pippa online. I was lucky enough to have Saturday night to myself as my brother had arranged to meet an old friend of his, so got chatting to Annette & Lucy again. They invited me down to Manchester for the night, it was very tempting but after a long family lunch I’d had too much wine to drive, so I invited them to come to me. They agreed, and I was thrilled, despite having to cram a week’s housework into an hour and a half. Lucy arrived (and left) dressed, but I hadn’t had time to do my make-up so Annette very kindly did for me. My weekend instantly felt much better with a rather lovely young girl gently applying foundation to my face. Mmm, I do like being pampered. They also brought their 3 year-old daughter, Katie (real cute), who played at our feet whilst I was made up. When I was finished I asked Katie if I looked better and she agreed that I did. I admire the openness that Annette and Lucy have with Katie, it seems to be doing her good, she is such a sweet child, and surely will grow up into a well-balanced individual with none of the society-induced irrational fears that so many of my generation have towards the transgendered, indeed towards anyone who is not in their eyes "normal". So respect to you, Annette and Lucy. I told them about Trannyweb and they both joined the next day, so there you go – they must be sound people.

New friends, and such lovely people. It’s nice to know you girls. xxx