In response to an anonymous comment:

Dear someone else’s ex-wife,

Whatever happened between you and your ex-husband has nothing to do with me, and from the sound of it bears no resemblance to what happened between me and my wife. Since you clearly have no idea of what went on I don’t know why you should criticise it. You shouldn’t go around blaming others for what happened between yourselves, or hating transsexuals because of it.

I am not a selfish person, I am a loving and giving person and I truly loved my wife with all my heart. That was all a very long time ago and I certainly was not thinking about transition or anything of the sort at the time. I couldn’t help falling in love with this girl who was later to become my wife, and I hoped we would be together forever, but she had her problems and despite all my love and support she lied, cheated and walked out. She has since apologised profusely for her behaviour and HER selfishness. After all, was it selfish of me to pour thousands of pounds, my entire life savings into our home and to bail her out of debt? Was it selfish of me to take on and build up a good relationship with her 2 young children, look after them while she was out doing the things that her previous partner had forbidden her to do? Was it selfish of me to devote everything I had, both material and spiritual to her and her children, to battle against all the odds to keep our family together and to try to bring her happiness that she had been denied? Is it selfish to love someone unreservedly? The fact that I was transgendered had nothing to do with it, I’d never even heard of that term at the time. I didn’t tell her because I didn’t really understand it, I just felt it was something that I had to not think about, and I would still be with her today had she not walked out. I am not a "total fake", the person she married certainly did exist and is still alive and kicking today. I never lied, faked, wore her clothes or anything of the sort. I can see you have been hurt by what has happened in your marriage but your comments towards me are misplaced, completely inaccurate, and offensive. Despite all she threw at me I still feel love for my ex-wife, but we all have to move on and I don’t resent her for what she did. Had she declared herself to be a female to male transsexual I would have been shocked, but would not have thought her selfish.

Like I said, I really didn’t wish to poke any ex-wives in the eye, but my life is different now, not because I have been selfish, because it just is, and now I have to make the most of it. No-one else is going to do that for me; there is nothing selfish about that.

I know that "there is more to being a woman than dressing up and having sex", I have never claimed or implied otherwise, but since this is my blog I have the right to record the good parts of my life as well as the bad. Should I not enjoy a sex life now? Should I not be happy that I have been able to make a new life for myself? Should I not be proud that I am unselfish, loving and not bitter? My life is different now and that was the point of the entry that you so harshly judged.

I wonder why you are here; is it because you wish to have a better understanding of your ex-husband’s nature, or because you have a bone to pick with anyone touched in any way by transgenderism?

I don’t need to grow up; I’m 42, emotionally mature, very sensible, considerate and still loving. Perhaps it’s you who needs to move on. Sort yourself out and don’t take it out on other people who you don’t know and have never met.

I can’t apologise for finding happiness, my life is still far from perfect but I don’t go around complaining about it. My biological condition does not make me one of "the most selfish people on earth". Have you tried counselling? I can’t imagine such bitter diatribes doing you any good at all. Good luck, whoever you are.

Lucy

  xx