If you see a shining star, follow it...

Life plods on, as Christmas sneaks up quietly, ready to pounce. I really ought to do some shopping. I did try earlier this week, just thought I’d go out and see if anything caught my eye, it didn’t, but I did manage to buy some clothes for myself. Although I don’t actually have room to store all my clothes I still feel I don’t have enough, and need stuff for going out on special occasions as well as everyday wear. I guess a girl can’t have too many clothes. Just not enough wardrobes perhaps.

So I must make a list next time I go out, of things to buy for people, else I will just end up buying for myself again. In the olden days the run up to Christmas was a good time to buy clothes for myself; "It’s a present for my girlfriend…" was of course the line I had prepared, not that I ever needed it, no-one ever actually comments on men buying women’s clothes. So I used to stock up around this time, and always had a good look round all the charity shops, which aren’t at all bad in Kendal.

Since I no longer present as male of course I can buy stuff for myself whenever I like without feeling awkward about it, so I really must concentrate on other people for the next couple of weeks. I love shopping, but only for myself…

My mum has several visitors booked in at her place, and no doubt there will be others that turn up unannounced, so there will be quite a few people meeting Lucy for the first time. Seems strange that I’m still saying that, as I’ve been full-time since June, but I guess people come out of the woodwork more at Christmas, and there are still plenty of old friends who have yet to do the "Lucy experience". Mum and her friend from Spain came over on Sunday for dinner (I made prawn linguine, yummy), so it was nice to have a girly night, and catch up with someone I haven’t seen for 8 years.

Hopefully Pip’s coming over early next week, should help to keep me warm, and then at the weekend we are going to Manchester with Sue and Laura (TS mother and daughter from Kendal) and some of their friends, as it’s someone’s birthday. There are a few going, all from vaguely around here, so it will be nice to meet some more local girls. I’ve heard that there is another girl from Kendal about to transition (who’s also going), great news, that’s at least 4 in about 26,000, we’re practically taking over this town. I can’t help wondering that if I’d seen other girls transitioning locally, I might have done it sooner myself. It’s a bit daunting when you think you’re the only one. Hopefully the more of us there are making our presence known, the more others will be encouraged to come out and follow suit. Which is an equation that works nationally and globally, but when you see a happy looking TS walking down the street in your own town, and you know that is how YOU want to be, it has a real impact.

Sadly, I keep seeing things in forums etc, not just on this site, saying that "things will never change", "we will never be accepted". Always I know that such comments are not from people who are "out". I’m not preaching, but I just find it sad that their own fears not only dictate that they cannot ever contemplate going out in public, but that their comments spread fear amongst others who also would like to transition, or even  just go out dressed, but just feel that they can’t possibly, what would everyone think…

26,000 sounds like a lot, well it’s a big number isn’t it (though less than the population of Trannyweb), but really this is just a small town, generally considered quite conservative, old-fashioned, lots of yokels, and many people in fact said to me things like, "You’re going to transition in KENDAL?!" The truth is though, and I will keep saying this, that things ARE changing, people watch television, read newspapers, look up things on the internet, the world is getting smaller. Whereas 20 years ago we might have been more justified in thinking that people would be shocked, disgusted, amused, whatever, these days that just isn’t the case. People AIN’T BOVERED. Even in a town like this. So I wish people wouldn’t spread such negativity around the internet especially on what are supposed to be sites offering support. Taking that attitude prevents change more than anything. And really they are just making excuses for themselves, trying to make out that their fear is justified. Fear resides in people’s heads. Yes, it takes a small amount of courage to make that first step, a leap of faith, but once you do you realise that there is nothing to fear, and that things are changing and will continue to do so, and your presence can only help.

Well, the choice is yours, sit at your desk and tell me it’s just not viable for you to come out because things will never change, or get out and make the change yourself. No-one else is going to do it for you. But please don’t tell others that they can’t, or shouldn’t do it, or that it’s dangerous or that they will be subjected to abuse and humiliation. None of that is true. That’s what is in people’s heads, not what you find on the streets. Don’t inflict your paranoia on others, don’t spread fear, don’t assume coming out will be hell. It’s actually pretty good, and it’s a way to a better life.

Try it, you might like it!

xx

OK that was a bit preachy, sorry, sermon over.