Days become weeks, weeks become months…

It’s late, I should be tucked up in bed by now. Oh well…

An anniversary has passed almost without me noticing, so I thought I should at least get around to mentioning it. I’ve done a year full time. I guess it’s flown by. I stopped presenting as male around the middle of May last year, and officially changed my name at the beginning of June, so I’m calling it June 1^st, for the sake of argument.

It just feels normal now, like how it was always supposed to be, even without being quite right just yet. Hormonal changes are slow and gradual, you’re not really aware that you are changing, though I have noticed a couple of little things…

It may be a year or less until I go for SRS, and though I’m not being impatient about that, I really can’t wait. Hopefully the trach shave will come sooner, and that I AM inpatient about. It’s a bloody nuisance, and I hate wearing scarves in this weather, but I just can’t get over the need to make some effort to hide the grotesque lump on my neck, however futile that effort is. It will be months before my next CX appointment, no guarantee that they will agree to the op and if they do many more months before I get a date for surgery. And also the possibility as I’ve said of them telling me they can only reduce it slightly, which just isn’t good enough, cos I know it can be done reasonably safely using the right techniques. So I may be sitting around waiting for nothing. Well, I’m just taking each day as it comes and if it all gets too much maybe I’ll go off and have it done privately.

Anyway… shortly after I went full time last year it was the first ever UK national transgender weekend in Manchester, namely "Sparkle", so that must be coming round again soon…

I was slightly disappointed when I realised we had a gig booked for the Saturday, the main day of the weekend. It wasn’t one we wanted to cancel, it being what they call in the trade, "A bloody good payer". So if anyone was wondering why I hadn’t mentioned going to Sparkle this year then that’s why.

However…

The gig’s been moved! So now I can go! Finding out 10 days before Sparkle that you can actually go after all means you’re probably going to struggle to find a hotel, which would have been a bit of a bugger, but I managed to get us in at the wonderfully luxurious Hollywood International. For anyone who hasn’t stayed there, that’s sarcasm by the way, anyone who HAS stayed there will have spotted that one right away! Oh it’s changed its name again hasn’t it, "Queens" is it now? Amazingly inventive name for a gay-run hotel. Not.

I’m sure we’ve vowed never to stay there again on more than one occasion, but what the hell, it’ll be just like old times. And I rather like the sweet little toot-toot sound the trams make as they go past at 5am. It’s just the rumbling of the foundations that bothers me really…

And with any luck we’ll have windows that open AND close.

The main thing is it’ll be great to be there and see everyone again, I’ve even heard it rumoured that some of our American TW sisters will be there. And I have an excuse to wear an entirely inappropriate dress, woo hoo!

Anyway, I’m gigging tomorrow at the main music pub in town, where only decent bands are allowed to play, so there’s a certain amount of prestige involved. Guess I’d better try and get some sleep; I need to sparkle tomorrow. It’ll be good practice for next weekend!

See you in the Village, girls.

xx