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ON THE REBOUND
Amazing what a week can do, isn’t it? A politician once said a week is a long time in politics, and I feel that can be applied to many other things as well, me being one of them. After writing that stuff the other day and getting it out my system, much as you do talking out with your best mate, I started to feel better almost immediately. And have continued to improve since then. I know it happens periodically, (once or twice a year), and after a dip I soon recover. It’s quite a good system in a way; get all the down out the way in a quick burst, then you can enjoy life as it’s meant to be.
I suppose being well into my second week of cold turkey giving up smoking at the time can’t have helped when combined with trying seriously this time to lose some of the cuddly bits. However, it’s getting easier, though I would still like a cigarette in the evenings. And I’m still too cuddly, but that will come as well, because… I have a new incentive!
Having heard at the end of last year about another girl having surgical problems at Charing Cross, and the repair subsequently going wrong as well. I know it may not have had anything to do with the surgeon or his technique, it was just one too many for my liking, and finally I got off my fat ass and early this month I saw my GP. I should have done it a long time ago, except I am as resistant to change as anyone, so went with the flow as you do. (Besides which, not everything was in place until recently). Anyway, I told her that it was pointless me travelling up to London twice a year at great expense to myself and the PCT, and that the shrink there was doing me no good at all etc etc. And that now there is a GIC just down the road… She agreed, and this morning I got confirmation I will be seeing a consultant there instead. Oh yes, I also told her I would rather go to a vet than CX for the operation, even if I still had to go there for the psych’s, which got very raised eyebrows, to say the least.
Anyway, I got a call this morning, PCT are more than happy for me to change clinics, and better still; I know they don’t use CX for the op!
So having had a 5 year delay, (thank you very much so called best in the country), I am back on track and might even get sorted this year. I now have the up feeling I had just before I was referred to CX for surgery so long ago, and this time I will not screw it up for myself as I did by putting on weight instead of losing it when I was told I had to go to CX in the first place and they told me I had to start again. That was almost the beginning of the end, and it has taken me until now to realise I was going nowhere, and only I could do anything about it. I guess I didn’t want it badly enough – or couldn’t believe it was happening, or it was too easy, I was expecting to fight and that never happened either, so I just lost momentum and drifted.
So, New Year, am in new flat (well, sort of) have newish job, and am about to embark on the good ship ‘Chop-‘em-off’ for it’s final cruise.
Having recently reminded someone their signature is ‘Life is what you make it’, I realised I needed to read it to myself and act on it.
So I did, and am doing just that. 2008 is going to be a good year.
And a huge hug to all. Thanks for everything.
Sue.
