|
|
|
Notifications
|
|
|
|
It was only last Thursday evening when I came out to my friends. Somehow it seems longer. I paid a social call unannounced as I was in the area anyway. The conversation came round to their children, again, and trans issues. I had not intended to come out but suddenly I had the feeling that the time had come. I was really scared. Normally I am never scared so it was a novel sensation to feel my body become hot and my heart rate double. But I knew there would never be a better time.
When I spoke, they listened, and they were very kind in their response. I couldn't say all that I wanted in the time available so I went back the next day and spoke some more about Ariane, and my feelings, and how lonely it was to feel decidedly female and not be able to let that out.
I had not expected coming out to affect me so much. It feels as though something fundamental deep down inside has woken up and really turned me inside out. I am carrying on with life as normal but Ariane has moved to the centre of my life. (I'm in love with myself. How cool is that.) This must be what a religious conversion feels like.
Naturally Ariane is keen to make progress as quickly as possible. I've realised that being a girl means you get to spend lots of money. So I reviewed my outfit choices, currently on order. The cocktail dress is lovely but it's really an indoors garment. The British climate is unforgiving and it's cold outside. I have now ordered this gorgeous long wool overcoat from Karen Millen. Of course it means I have to go out to wear it, so Ariane will have to appear in public to justify the expense. Such a clever girl!
