Princess of Darkness

• Posted by Ariane Durand May 22 76 views
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  It was over a year ago when the girl inside announced that she wasn't going to live in a cage for ever. The girl broke free and has been slowly taking over my life. Previous posts describe her evolution.

  We have reached the point where the girl can no longer hide from her family. So on Sunday evening I told my elder son. It was on return from his victory in yet another pub quiz. He reacted with complete bewilderment and was very subdued.

  On Monday evening I told my younger son. He lives in London so we had to speak online through a FaceTime call. We spoke for a long time. He wanted to understand. Like his brother, he acknowledged what a big thing it was for me to tell them.

  After I had spoken to both, they were free to speak to each other. I was hoping that we could find ways of breaking it to my wife. So it came as a shock for me to learn, in the early hours of Tuesday morning, that they planned to speak to her themselves as soon as possible. They did not feel comfortable knowing when she did not know.

  It was just as well that I was able to speak to my elder son again after that. This stable and sunny-minded young man was in complete despair. For some reason the two of them had taken the opposite message from what I had told them. They thought that I wanted to go under the knife and live fulltime as Ariane. In fact, given their reaction, I was already reining in my ambitions. I said that it would be enough for me to continue exploring my feminine side with my friends outside the house, with my family never seeing Ariane. The only difference would be that they would know what I was doing as I no longer felt I could hide it from them. He seemed somewhat relieved by this.

  Tuesday was a quiet day. In the morning I had a lovely time with one of my friends from church, who then became the first from church to see Ariane in person. I then went shopping in Guildford for cosmetics, a fleece, and a sports bra (which turned out to be too tight). All the shop assistants treated me normally.

  The plan was for both sons to meet my wife at a London restaurant and break the news to her. They thought she would be very upset. I spent a very quiet evening at home, hardly eating (no appetite) and sober. I thought there might be white smoke from the Vatican. Or the other sort of smoke. But I heard nothing.

  My wife and elder son returned home around 11.00pm. My son told me that the brothers had given my news to my wife and had a long chat. They would need time to process the news. He then retreated to his bedroom to take a call from his girlfriend, who was supporting him.

  My wife ignored me completely. She went out into the garden to look at her plants with the torch from her phone. At this point I decided to go to bed, where I slept for about three hours.

  I think this must call into question whether I travel with them and the girlfriends to Berlin on Thursday evening for an extended weekend break. It may be better if they have time and space apart from me to take it all in.

  So: I am the Princess of Darkness. Pleased to meet you. Hope you guessed my name.