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I HAVE JUST HAD THE MOST AWFUL PHONE CALL IMAGINABLE...AND I AM ACTUALLY IN TEARS AS I WRITE.EARLIER THIS EVENING I WENT OUT FOR A SHORT STROLL"EN-FEMME",JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DO.COMING BACK I PASSED A A GROUP OF PEOPLE AND ONE OF THEM RECOGNISED ME,SHOUTING "GET YOUR TITS OUT" AFTER ME.WORSE STILL,HE KNEW THE FAMILY.SO I CALLED MY MUM TO LET HER KNOW...AND IT WAS JUST AWFUL.APPARENTLY I AM BRINGING SHAME AND DISREPUTE ON THE FAMILY BY GOING OUT DRESSED,THAT I AM BEING SELFISH AND SELF CENTRED AND ONLY THINKING ABOUT MYSELF.MY BROTHER,WHO PLAYS DARTS FOR THE SAME PUB AS ME...WENT BALLISTIC WHEN I TOLD HIM,AND IT WOULDNT SURPRISE ME IF HE DID`NT SPEAK TO ME ANYMORE.I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO DO ANYMORE,COS I DONT CONSIDER(ALLEGEDLY)ANYONE ELSES FEELINGS BUT MY OWN..WELL WHY SHOULD`NT I THINK ABOUT MYSELF.IN A WAY I CAN SEE WHERE SHE`S COMING FROM,BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?....DON`T MY FEELINGS COUNT TOO??I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING THAT WHEN MY DAD FINDS OUT,THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL TURN THEIR BACKS ON ME.MY MUM IS MORE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE IN TOWN WILL SAY,COS WE ARE QUITE WELL KNOWN HERE....WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT ONE OF US IS TG(ME).ONE OF US IS GAY...HE NEVER GOT THE CRAP I`M GETTING SO WHY AM I ANY DIFFERENT.I`LL TELL YOU WHAT REALLY HURT...AND HAD ME IN TEARS...AGAIN,WAS THE FACT THAT MY MUM SAID THAT SHE`D MUCH RATHER I WAS GAY THAN TG.THAT BROKE MY HEART,HER SAYING THAT..BUT WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO?? MY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW ARE SHOT TO PIECES.I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR ANY HELP BEFORE,BUT I AM NOW.I NEED YOUR HELP GIRLS,CAN YOU HELP ME?????.......ONE VERY SAD,TEARFUL MARIA XXXXXXX
