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Thats the state of my head this morning,and i'll tell you why.Yesterday for the 5th day running i got out "en-femme"..and i enjoyed every minute of it,going in lots of shops and generally feelin good about myself.Then in the evening i had no end of probs...first my phone packed up in the middle of talking to clair....then all hell broke loose when i had one hell of an argument.It seems that yesterday,when i was out..several members of the family and my mum's friends saw me out...and it got back to her thanks to my big-mouthed sister in law!Then followed one hell of a barney..." oh'you're bringing shame on the famliy".."what will people think"...and the like.What she's more worried about(i think..)is what people will say when they know that we've got a TG(me) in the family.Hell,my cousin is gay and he doesn't get half the crap that i do.but the one thing that did make me cry last night was when she said..." i'd rather you were gay than TG",can you imagine just how bad that made me feel inside...totally worthless.I think it's going to come to them(my family) turning their back on me cos of what..and who i am.I really do hope i'm wrong about it...but i just have this bad feeling about things.If you read my other post you'll have some idea of what i'm trying to deal with.I'm not a child molester,rapist or pervert..i just happen to be TG,it's just the way i am...nobodys fault at all.Maybe it would'nt be a bad idea if i wasn't around any more cos it would save all the shame of having a poof in the family....but then on the other hand what would you girls do eh.I know we have our moments,and i've had words with a few here...but you are all,and i mean ALL like a second family to me.Some of the friends i have here like chris,fay,clair,JJ,nena,Mere,cerys,alex....the list is endless..they are worth 10 of the other friends i have...and i don't have many as it is.you wanted to know why my head's screwed up,if you've read what i've written then you'll know why.I dont know what to do anymore....please help me.........
