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Posted by wendy larsen
July 21, 2007
Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs
1,119 views
Fourteen months ago, I got my ears pierced. It was a major emotional step for me, both in what I gave and what I received from the act. I have never regretted it. It has only been a positive experience. To this day, not a soul has commented on my earrings....not one. I was a little disappointed, actually.
Recently, I lost one of my 4mm gold ball studs. The cheap replacement back came off somewhere and the stud fell out...somewhere. This created a new quandry. If I didn't keep my studs in, my piercing would close up, requiring a repiercing. For a short time I just switched off ears with my remaining stud.
Then I had a 5 day and night period alone at home. Recovering from a post-surgical (minor) infection left me exhausted and without much energy. It took me a couple days to even switch to en femme. So no major eruption of Mt. Wendy, Los Angeles's "famous" TG psycho-dynamic volcano. ( I should explain that everything out here is "famous", even the hamburger stands are "world famous" ....Hollywood, go figure )
There were changes, however. In fact they were significant if not blatant. For example, I tried on a dressy skirt and top set that I had tried on last December and had not cared for. Just didn't like the way it looked. This time, however, I progressed to a full "dress to the nines" with it. I liked it. What had happened? My only explaination is that more roadblocks went down and paths opened up in my girlbrain and I experienced the dress in a different way. I saw it more like how Sundance had seen it when she bought it for herself. In it's own way this is significant progress in recovering my femme self. I wonder, however, if this change was slowly occuring and I couldn't see it until I tried on the dress again. On the other hand, I taped and watched THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA for the first time that week. And the second, third and fourth time. And I understood the point of view of the fashionistas. Was that the trigger? No matter. It happened.
I am not digressing. You see, that week I was wearing two earrings every day. On the last day I went back to my......one stud, and my problem. I pulled out my collection of earrrings and looked for an acceptable substitue pair. Alas, lol, masculine earrings were not my goal when Sundance and I increased my collection. She does have a pair of turquoise and silver studs ( and a new dress :-) ) to give me but she's a lot of gasoline away and neither of us has a nickel to spare for luxury driving. So here I sat, wondering what earrings I could "get away with", when a thought struck me. Screw them! Wear one of your gold loop earrings with the red 6mm stone in them. The deepest, darkest prisons are in your mind. You have a real need to wear that earring. Time to move foward or scurry further back in the closet. I'm not going back there again, it's dark and scary. It's scarier than standing in the closet doorway and in the light. Don't let "them" push you back. Besides, nobody is going to say anything THIS year either, lol.
So here I sit, one gold stud in one ear and one gold loop with an impossible to miss red stone in the other ear. A little change but a reflection of bigger changes inside. Maybe, next month, I'll put the other loop in the other ear.
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Keli, I don't start out to write long blogs. This one was only two sentences long when I started. :-) It just sort of escapes.
