Scientists puzzled by lack of eruption.

• Posted by wendy larsen December 12, 2008 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs 1,014 views
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  Actually, I was only briefly puzzled by the unusual lack of psychological changes that normally occur when I have a long awaited chance to dress and fully be Wendy for a long period.   The explanation was simple....when you are being yourself every day, dressed or not, there is no pressure building up because you are discovering new things about yourself on a daily basis.  It was a very relaxing week, alone, but it was my day-to-day me that had it, not a part of me suppressed for months at a time and fighting to escape and live.  Further proof?  At the end of the week there was no battle to stay Wendy.  There was no need for one because Wendy never goes away any more.  Dressing was not a panic to fill a limited time.  It was just something I did when the mood struck me and was fairly casual most of the week.  I think I'm reaching an internal balance.  Would I like to be freer to dress?  Yes.  Do I feel my Self is repressed?  Not a lot.
  
  I'm leaving on vacation this week for some time in NYC and VA.  First real vacation in years where I did not end up in the mountains camping....although that could happen too.  In two weeks, for the first time since joining TW, I meet a Sister I met here.  One who has become my sister to me.  May she be the first of many this year.
  
  Computer access may be limited for a couple weeks as I will be fixing problems where I am going, so I'll take my laptop and try to stay in touch.  Tomorrow I book my flight. 
  
  When I return I take a tour of a possible job.  If it comes through I will go from poverty to very comfortable in a matter of weeks.  Am I excited?   Is Saks on Fifth Avenue?  I'm definitely nervous that I won't get the job.  Too bad it did not come before I lost all my storage possessions this month. (yes, they had NOT yet sold them so I had to go through that emotional loss yet again).  Anyway, I'm going to submit my application and enjoy my vacation and hope that in two month's I'm working again.  I'm feeling very up and energetic and hoping I won't be disappointed again....but without fear and anxiety (well not much).