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  • 19 Mar 2023
    Among friends
    Today I went to see my friends P & P in boy mode for lunch at their house, where I met some of their family who had turned up for Mothering Sunday. They were all very kind and passed on some spare but unused cosmetics and brushes to add to my collection. It was good to be able to talk about Ariane and some of her forthcoming plans. I had a really nice time.   The next event in my diary is a consultation with a hair salon and wig specialist in a nearby town. This is on Tuesday morning. I am hoping either to come away with a proper-fitting and attractive girly wig, or else to place an order for one.   What happens after that depends on my family's movements in the week, as yet uncertain.
    5 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Among friends
    Today I went to see my friends P & P in boy mode for lunch at their house, where I met some of their family who had turned up for Mothering Sunday. They were all very kind and passed on some spare but unused cosmetics and brushes to add to my collection. It was good to be able to talk about Ariane and some of her forthcoming plans. I had a really nice time.   The next event in my diary is a consultation with a hair salon and wig specialist in a nearby town. This is on Tuesday morning. I am hoping either to come away with a proper-fitting and attractive girly wig, or else to place an order for one.   What happens after that depends on my family's movements in the week, as yet uncertain.
    Mar 19, 2023 5
  • 17 Mar 2023
    Lying low
    Ariane has gone to ground – externally at least – owing to the constant presence of family members in the house for the next few days. It's all I can do to collect deliveries from couriers before others see them. Stuff designed for a trans recipient generally arrives in plain packaging, but boxes of cosmetics usually name the supplier on the label. So I try to time my purchases to arrive when there will be no one here. I'm not sure this is a great way to live. I already have a locked suitcase full of stuff hidden away and there's a limit to what else I can store.   On a more positive note, I saw my friends P & P this morning. We are hatching a getaway plan. By this I mean that they will get away to a European destination for a short break and I will go with them as their friend. On arrival at this cosmopolitan capital city (let's call it Berlin), Ariane will come out to play and won't mind who sees her. Likely to be late June or thereabouts.  
    7 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Lying low
    Ariane has gone to ground – externally at least – owing to the constant presence of family members in the house for the next few days. It's all I can do to collect deliveries from couriers before others see them. Stuff designed for a trans recipient generally arrives in plain packaging, but boxes of cosmetics usually name the supplier on the label. So I try to time my purchases to arrive when there will be no one here. I'm not sure this is a great way to live. I already have a locked suitcase full of stuff hidden away and there's a limit to what else I can store.   On a more positive note, I saw my friends P & P this morning. We are hatching a getaway plan. By this I mean that they will get away to a European destination for a short break and I will go with them as their friend. On arrival at this cosmopolitan capital city (let's call it Berlin), Ariane will come out to play and won't mind who sees her. Likely to be late June or thereabouts.  
    Mar 17, 2023 7
  • 16 Mar 2023
    Photo from makeup lesson
    Christiane followed the makeup lesson by taking some close-up full-face studio photos with her camera. One of these I really like. It's so sweet. So it's gone into Ariane's photo album. Again, you have to be a Full Member and my Friend to see the album.
    12 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Photo from makeup lesson
    Christiane followed the makeup lesson by taking some close-up full-face studio photos with her camera. One of these I really like. It's so sweet. So it's gone into Ariane's photo album. Again, you have to be a Full Member and my Friend to see the album.
    Mar 16, 2023 12
  • 16 Mar 2023
    Cosmetics
    I have ordered online all the products recommended by Christiane Dowling. The beauty business is so expensive! But to place things in context I actually spent more on the pearl necklace and bracelet than I did on all those cosmetics.   It will take a few days for everything to arrive. I can't practise for a while anyway since Ariane will not be home alone again until at least Tuesday of next week. Everything's back in the suitcase and hidden away. I'm not expecting terrific results at first but it will get better.
    8 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Cosmetics
    I have ordered online all the products recommended by Christiane Dowling. The beauty business is so expensive! But to place things in context I actually spent more on the pearl necklace and bracelet than I did on all those cosmetics.   It will take a few days for everything to arrive. I can't practise for a while anyway since Ariane will not be home alone again until at least Tuesday of next week. Everything's back in the suitcase and hidden away. I'm not expecting terrific results at first but it will get better.
    Mar 16, 2023 8
  • 15 Mar 2023
    The Girl Inside: AVOID
    I do look around for dressing services offering a makeover and photoshoot, particularly in places that I’m expecting to visit in the near future. One that caught my eye is The Girl Inside, which is just outside Bath. The tastefully-designed website has a picture of an old house that looks as though it came out of Jane Austen. TGI offers a bespoke service including not only a makeover and photoshoot, but an escorted visit to Bath for a meal out, or any of a range of cultural events, and even overnight accommodation if you want. There are no prices on the site, since these will reflect the particular service or elements you want (that’s what “bespoke” means I guess). As I’m expecting to be in Somerset for an event in April, I sent off a brief enquiry with Ariane’s name and email address.I received a reply today from the proprietor, a gentleman named Hillary Carr who calls himself “Hills”. He must have done well out of life if he owns this building and can afford to employ staff including makeup artists. A little research shows him to be a self-employed advertising and marketing consultant, a parish councillor in Bath, and a rugby fan. His Linked In profile doesn’t mention his TGI connection. Hills would be happy to facilitate my experience at TGI and would himself escort me to dinner in Bath.   Also Hills asked me to complete and return a contact information form. This form is unlike others I’ve come across in the TG world in requesting quite a lot of personal information. For example I would have to provide my real name and home address, shoe and bra sizing information, and photos of my male self and me dressed en femme. Apparently the photos would help the makeup artist prepare for my visit. The form also asks for details of various social media profiles, including TV Chix which is a friendship and dating service. I guess returning a detailed profile would enable Hills to estimate the cost of my experience more precisely.The contact form justifies seeking all this information in the interest of ensuring safety during the Covid-19 pandemic, and to enable TGI to contact visitors in the unlikely event of the virus being found at the building.By the time I’d read through all this, several alarm bells were ringing. I replied to Hills expressing my concern at the level of personal detail sought, and the lack of any pricing information, both of which are unique in my experience of dressing services. Also I pointed out that the pandemic was over and other suppliers simply relied on a negative test on the day of the meet. Finally, and this was not meant personally, I said I preferred to socialise en femme with other girls or Tgirls.So there it is. I haven’t heard back from Hills yet. I’m not sure I’m going to either.   UPDATE: Hills sent me a self-justifying reply although his reasons were not at all convincing. I don't think he is sinister, just a rich and obsessive male admirer.
    12 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    The Girl Inside: AVOID
    I do look around for dressing services offering a makeover and photoshoot, particularly in places that I’m expecting to visit in the near future. One that caught my eye is The Girl Inside, which is just outside Bath. The tastefully-designed website has a picture of an old house that looks as though it came out of Jane Austen. TGI offers a bespoke service including not only a makeover and photoshoot, but an escorted visit to Bath for a meal out, or any of a range of cultural events, and even overnight accommodation if you want. There are no prices on the site, since these will reflect the particular service or elements you want (that’s what “bespoke” means I guess). As I’m expecting to be in Somerset for an event in April, I sent off a brief enquiry with Ariane’s name and email address.I received a reply today from the proprietor, a gentleman named Hillary Carr who calls himself “Hills”. He must have done well out of life if he owns this building and can afford to employ staff including makeup artists. A little research shows him to be a self-employed advertising and marketing consultant, a parish councillor in Bath, and a rugby fan. His Linked In profile doesn’t mention his TGI connection. Hills would be happy to facilitate my experience at TGI and would himself escort me to dinner in Bath.   Also Hills asked me to complete and return a contact information form. This form is unlike others I’ve come across in the TG world in requesting quite a lot of personal information. For example I would have to provide my real name and home address, shoe and bra sizing information, and photos of my male self and me dressed en femme. Apparently the photos would help the makeup artist prepare for my visit. The form also asks for details of various social media profiles, including TV Chix which is a friendship and dating service. I guess returning a detailed profile would enable Hills to estimate the cost of my experience more precisely.The contact form justifies seeking all this information in the interest of ensuring safety during the Covid-19 pandemic, and to enable TGI to contact visitors in the unlikely event of the virus being found at the building.By the time I’d read through all this, several alarm bells were ringing. I replied to Hills expressing my concern at the level of personal detail sought, and the lack of any pricing information, both of which are unique in my experience of dressing services. Also I pointed out that the pandemic was over and other suppliers simply relied on a negative test on the day of the meet. Finally, and this was not meant personally, I said I preferred to socialise en femme with other girls or Tgirls.So there it is. I haven’t heard back from Hills yet. I’m not sure I’m going to either.   UPDATE: Hills sent me a self-justifying reply although his reasons were not at all convincing. I don't think he is sinister, just a rich and obsessive male admirer.
    Mar 15, 2023 12
  • 15 Mar 2023
    Christiane Dowling
    Today I drove to Sandhurst for a makeup lesson with professional artiste Christiane Dowling. The first thing to say about Christiane is how young she looks. In her 20s at most. She wasn’t wearing much, if any, makeup. Maybe she has a flawless complexion. She is certainly the most highly-qualified artiste I have ever come across. For example she was Makeup Artist of the Year in the 2019 British Hair & Beauty Awards.Before we started I changed into Ariane mode (minus wig and pearls). Today I was wearing the same outfit as the first one from yesterday, apart from ankle boots rather than the heels. I then moved into the makeup chair. Christiane took me through the various stages of the makeup process – and believe me, there are a lot of stages – talking through what she was going to do, then applying it to part of my face while I watched in the mirror, before I had a go myself in other areas, followed by her correction as needed. I won’t try to describe every single stage but this was the general order:• cleansing and moisturising the whole face• styling the eyebrows, using a pencil to create more of an arch• eye shadow above the eyes (we settled on a muted shade of gold)• lash curl and mascara• foundation for the rest of the face except below the eyes• using brushes for contouring, bronzer, blusher, highlighter• powder to set at various stages• concealer, foundation, powder below the eyes followed by eyeliner• lip liner, shading, lipstick (a deep red).Then I added the wig, pearl necklace and pearl bracelet. Christiane took some professional photos of my makeup from close up – I should have these tomorrow – and also some shots from further away on my phone. Finally, she helped me remove all the makeup and Ariane went away again.Some thoughts on the look. The makeup was subtle, understated, but professional. I did think I looked more like my original self than I did at last week’s makeover with Antonia Wood. Maybe Antonia was more full-on. Also my outfit and pearls are more subtle (plainer?) than in Antonia’s wardrobe. And it was a different wig. I preferred the wig from Antonia’s as it was simply more interesting than the classic bob I was wearing as a stand-in today. So I think there is more work to do on the outfit.The most important thing was the makeup though. Christiane gave me some detailed notes on what to do, how to do it and in what order. She also wrote down the details of all the products she used so that I can order my own set and start practising. The sooner the better.
    10 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Christiane Dowling
    Today I drove to Sandhurst for a makeup lesson with professional artiste Christiane Dowling. The first thing to say about Christiane is how young she looks. In her 20s at most. She wasn’t wearing much, if any, makeup. Maybe she has a flawless complexion. She is certainly the most highly-qualified artiste I have ever come across. For example she was Makeup Artist of the Year in the 2019 British Hair & Beauty Awards.Before we started I changed into Ariane mode (minus wig and pearls). Today I was wearing the same outfit as the first one from yesterday, apart from ankle boots rather than the heels. I then moved into the makeup chair. Christiane took me through the various stages of the makeup process – and believe me, there are a lot of stages – talking through what she was going to do, then applying it to part of my face while I watched in the mirror, before I had a go myself in other areas, followed by her correction as needed. I won’t try to describe every single stage but this was the general order:• cleansing and moisturising the whole face• styling the eyebrows, using a pencil to create more of an arch• eye shadow above the eyes (we settled on a muted shade of gold)• lash curl and mascara• foundation for the rest of the face except below the eyes• using brushes for contouring, bronzer, blusher, highlighter• powder to set at various stages• concealer, foundation, powder below the eyes followed by eyeliner• lip liner, shading, lipstick (a deep red).Then I added the wig, pearl necklace and pearl bracelet. Christiane took some professional photos of my makeup from close up – I should have these tomorrow – and also some shots from further away on my phone. Finally, she helped me remove all the makeup and Ariane went away again.Some thoughts on the look. The makeup was subtle, understated, but professional. I did think I looked more like my original self than I did at last week’s makeover with Antonia Wood. Maybe Antonia was more full-on. Also my outfit and pearls are more subtle (plainer?) than in Antonia’s wardrobe. And it was a different wig. I preferred the wig from Antonia’s as it was simply more interesting than the classic bob I was wearing as a stand-in today. So I think there is more work to do on the outfit.The most important thing was the makeup though. Christiane gave me some detailed notes on what to do, how to do it and in what order. She also wrote down the details of all the products she used so that I can order my own set and start practising. The sooner the better.
    Mar 15, 2023 10
  • 14 Mar 2023
    Happy dressing
    So I spent a happy morning as Ariane. The heels were more comfortable than I expected. I'm not used to walking around in a ladylike manner but I will get there. Also I enjoyed watching Endeavour S9 E1. No TGirls on show but that was the 1960s after all.   Then out on the bike for a short and pleasant ride through the Surrey countryside. One of the good things about cycling is that I get to wear figure-hugging lycra. It feels like being dressed.   On to this afternoon's outfit. Similar underwear as before but with opaque tights. I have an above-the-knee skirt, and a t-shirt, this time with the corset on the outside as a fashion statement. I love the feel of leather.   Best of all are the Victorian-style lace-up leather ankle boots with block heels. So comfortable and stylish. I feel I could run in these, though I hope I won't have to. And the pearls and the wig as well. Gin and tonic to go with it all.
    11 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Happy dressing
    So I spent a happy morning as Ariane. The heels were more comfortable than I expected. I'm not used to walking around in a ladylike manner but I will get there. Also I enjoyed watching Endeavour S9 E1. No TGirls on show but that was the 1960s after all.   Then out on the bike for a short and pleasant ride through the Surrey countryside. One of the good things about cycling is that I get to wear figure-hugging lycra. It feels like being dressed.   On to this afternoon's outfit. Similar underwear as before but with opaque tights. I have an above-the-knee skirt, and a t-shirt, this time with the corset on the outside as a fashion statement. I love the feel of leather.   Best of all are the Victorian-style lace-up leather ankle boots with block heels. So comfortable and stylish. I feel I could run in these, though I hope I won't have to. And the pearls and the wig as well. Gin and tonic to go with it all.
    Mar 14, 2023 11
  • 14 Mar 2023
    Home alone
    I'm at home on my own all day today. And most of Ariane's clothes have arrived, including at least two complete outfits. So it doesn't take a genius to work out what I'm doing. I won't be going out – that will have to wait for the makeup lesson tomorrow – but otherwise Ariane will be in residence and in a much better place than Sunday night.   I'll describe what I'm wearing. I know a picture paints a thousand words, but you'll have to wait until I'm made up for that. Everything is black unless otherwise stated. • shapewear in the form of a leather corset from Honour – to draw in the waist • pants designed for the male form, from Fit4U • sheer tights from M&S • bra, also from M&S • an above-the-knee skater dress with long sleeves and a round neck, also from M&S • a ladies' leather belt, also from M&S, drawn as tight as I can – I like the feel of restraint, for myself anyway • 5" heel court shoes in patent leather, from Honour • a short wig with a fringe and bangs, from Amazon • a pearl necklace and pearl bracelet, round Freshwater white pearls, from The Pearl Source.   So what to do with the day? It's time for some binge TV. How decadent is daytime TV? I've been meaning to watch the new series of Endeavour. I'll take a break later on for some exercise, then come back in another outfit. What a day.
    11 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Home alone
    I'm at home on my own all day today. And most of Ariane's clothes have arrived, including at least two complete outfits. So it doesn't take a genius to work out what I'm doing. I won't be going out – that will have to wait for the makeup lesson tomorrow – but otherwise Ariane will be in residence and in a much better place than Sunday night.   I'll describe what I'm wearing. I know a picture paints a thousand words, but you'll have to wait until I'm made up for that. Everything is black unless otherwise stated. • shapewear in the form of a leather corset from Honour – to draw in the waist • pants designed for the male form, from Fit4U • sheer tights from M&S • bra, also from M&S • an above-the-knee skater dress with long sleeves and a round neck, also from M&S • a ladies' leather belt, also from M&S, drawn as tight as I can – I like the feel of restraint, for myself anyway • 5" heel court shoes in patent leather, from Honour • a short wig with a fringe and bangs, from Amazon • a pearl necklace and pearl bracelet, round Freshwater white pearls, from The Pearl Source.   So what to do with the day? It's time for some binge TV. How decadent is daytime TV? I've been meaning to watch the new series of Endeavour. I'll take a break later on for some exercise, then come back in another outfit. What a day.
    Mar 14, 2023 11
  • 13 Mar 2023
    Wigs
    I decided to postpone my makeup lesson, not for complex psychological reasons, but simply because the wig I ordered online does not fit. I was not able to try it on until this morning. I do have a replacement on order from a different supplier and this should arrive within 24 hours. The makeup lesson is postponed to Wednesday afternoon.   Ultimately though I'm going to have to make an appointment at a hair salon for a consultation to support an informed decision. I was going to do this on the way to Manchester, but as I'm not now going to Manchester it will have to wait for another time.   I am still looking at opportunities to go away for a night or two on my own when Ariane can come out to play. For reasons I won't go into, I need dry weather for this. So the next few weeks are probably a write-off.
    13 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Wigs
    I decided to postpone my makeup lesson, not for complex psychological reasons, but simply because the wig I ordered online does not fit. I was not able to try it on until this morning. I do have a replacement on order from a different supplier and this should arrive within 24 hours. The makeup lesson is postponed to Wednesday afternoon.   Ultimately though I'm going to have to make an appointment at a hair salon for a consultation to support an informed decision. I was going to do this on the way to Manchester, but as I'm not now going to Manchester it will have to wait for another time.   I am still looking at opportunities to go away for a night or two on my own when Ariane can come out to play. For reasons I won't go into, I need dry weather for this. So the next few weeks are probably a write-off.
    Mar 13, 2023 13
  • 13 Mar 2023
    Ariane vs Rest of the World
    On Sunday evening I suffered a profound psychological blow that undermined my entire approach to life. I felt it in my heart and I'm now trying to make sense of it. At least it was not related to Ariane – not outwardly at any rate.   The world does not move as fast as I would like and people do not behave in the way I would expect. I will have to rearrange myself and revise my expectations.   I am still going ahead with the makeup lesson in a few hours' time (I hope) but I have cancelled Ariane's proposed weekend in Manchester. It was a deadline too soon given the other things I want to see happen before then. Also I do feel strongly the absence of a potential friendly contact that weekend.   I posted earlier about trans loneliness. I feel this now. Ariane online is an important part of me. Despite several attempts I still don't have anyone who wants to share my online life. Maybe I feel sorry for myself. But then no one else is going to feel sorry for me.
    16 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • By Ariane Durand
    Ariane vs Rest of the World
    On Sunday evening I suffered a profound psychological blow that undermined my entire approach to life. I felt it in my heart and I'm now trying to make sense of it. At least it was not related to Ariane – not outwardly at any rate.   The world does not move as fast as I would like and people do not behave in the way I would expect. I will have to rearrange myself and revise my expectations.   I am still going ahead with the makeup lesson in a few hours' time (I hope) but I have cancelled Ariane's proposed weekend in Manchester. It was a deadline too soon given the other things I want to see happen before then. Also I do feel strongly the absence of a potential friendly contact that weekend.   I posted earlier about trans loneliness. I feel this now. Ariane online is an important part of me. Despite several attempts I still don't have anyone who wants to share my online life. Maybe I feel sorry for myself. But then no one else is going to feel sorry for me.
    Mar 13, 2023 16