So I went to my first therapist appointment. Overall, it was good and she seemed pleasant and nonjudgmental. As we share the same religious background, perhaps our common culture may lead to a better rapport. Not that the contra would be a deal breaker. A bigot I am not.

This first get together was more of a get acquainted session, i.e.: tell me about your entire miserable life (my words). Then tell me about when your gender issues started and how it progressed. This was quite cathartic and I tried my best not to let it turn into a piss and moan session. I am being treated for depression (thank you Zoloft!) so who knows whether gender confusion is not at the root of my mood disorder. One question of note that she asked was whether I always
felt that I was a girl trapped in a boys body. My reply was that I don't think that that was the case, but that I always wished I was female. I've never had a burning, all consuming, suicidal desire; rather it has been a steady undercurrent in my life from my earliest memory to now, at a ripe young age of 61. I should say that I do fantasize about ending my life. Serious? I think not.

I tend to be a bit of a shrinking viloet, so who knows how I really felt/feel about being trapped in a male body? While I've never behaved in an effeminate manor, neither have I ever displayed much machismo. I've always been subdued and somewhat introverted. Perhaps if I wasn't I might have had the courage to move forward a few decades sooner. What a shame the time lost not being true to myself.

All I need now is a lottery win so I can kick my DW out the door and see an endocrinologist. Harsh?

This post was edited by Olivia Richards at May 21, 2015 7:29 PM BST

Olivia

 

Your post resonates very clearly with me, indeed I think I could have written the same third paragraph. Unlike you I'm unable to 'borrow' the first two paragraphs because of the symptoms that you describe in the third..

 

I hope that you continue to develop a rapour with your therapist, and as a result are able to move on and see yourself and your future in a better light. Achieve that and I think that the lottery win will become increasingly unnecessary - albeit a very pleasant distraction should it occur.. 

 

Good luck

 

Rachel

Rachel

 

My first two paragraphs are as a result of my DW catching me wearing clear nail polish!  She, being the most closed minded, intolerant person on the planet, immediately insisted that I see someone.  Well. what a golden opportunity for me to seek gender therapy under the guise of satisfying my DW's edict.  She doesn't know the true nature of my budding therapy.

 

This ties in with paragraph three as I cannot be honest with her for fear of the firestorm it would create.

 

Keep in touch.  We shrinking violets need to stick together.

 

Olivia

Ok newbie alert? Please tell me what a DW is?

Wll, it can be many things.  Most commonly is Dear Wife. I've alo heard Divorced Wife and Dimented Wife.  We can venture into the macabre, but I'll leave that to your imagination.     ;-)

Devil Worshipper? Thanks for the heads up!

LMFAO