Living Full Time

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  • What does "living full time" mean to you? The Wpath standards of care states that a person must have lived at least one year as their chosen gender before surgury is even close to an option. I have lazy days when I don't feel like wearing make up and skirts, I'm not far enough along to have the voice even close to right, and I still enjoy "guy stuff" like doing my own automotive maintenance or having a beer while I BBQ a steak. Do these things inturupt "full time"? Does Full Time mean I have to pass all the time? I feel girly every day, I feel like a girl when I wake up and I feel like a girl when I go to sleep. For me, it's been mentally a full time thing for years, some days I just don't get to dress the part. Some days I still look like a guy, does the simple fact that I hate shaving and don't want to do it every single day inturupt full time?
    Ladies, I'd love to know what you think about this, what does it mean to you to live out your womanhood "full time"?
      August 8, 2015 1:13 AM BST
  • Grrrr! I just posted a long reply and then realized that it had logged me out. I lost it all. Let me see if I can recollect what I wrote. It is tough because I am getting long in the tooth. 

    Okay, first off, why are you labeling stuff as guy stuff or girl stuff. Throw that crap out, it is so limiting. I know a lot of women who like to work on cars. Heck, Danika Patrick loves to race them and does pretty well. Since when is having a beer not a girly thing? My ex sister-in-law could drink me under the table. Of course, that is why she is my ex sister-in-law. I know a lot of women that love a good beer. The running joke in my clan is that I had to buy a full keg knowing my niece was coming over. More than one party has seen the keg go dry. So have a beer if you like. Why do we limit ourselves. It seems that women do this but then we take it to the extreme because we feel we have to outwomen women. We have to lose that mentality. Just be yourself. It is not what you do, but how you think that defines you. 
    As for me, I just got out of my nightie and getting ready to jump in the shower. I am going to run to the store and pick up some posts for fencing. I will come home and throw on some jeans and a t and workboots. I will go out and plant those posts and maybe get up a section of fencing. Does that mean I am not a woman? The alpaca farm that we have been taking training courses at has mostly women on staff. They muck the stalls, feed the alpacas, do herd health, get in there and help the mammas if a cria (baby alpaca) is stuck during birth. Because they are wearing jeans, boots, and t-shirt, does that mean they are men? No, they are still women. There are women race car drivers, Patrick is pretty good, there are women farmers, astronauts, and even mechanics. We need to stop limiting what women can or can't do. I raised my daughter to know that she could be or do anything she set her mind to. 

    So put on your big girl panties, grab your wrench and a beer and go work on the car. When you are done, fire up the grill, throw on a steak and have another beer. That doesn't make you less of a woman, it makes you a fuller woman. 
    As for not shaving, do you really think that women shave their legs EVERY day? They might not feel like it and skip a day. Just be who you are. I don't think there is a woman police monitoring you 24/7 ready to pull your womanhood. Relax. Just be.

      August 8, 2015 2:02 PM BST
  • Thank you Emma :) It seems to me like the problem is that I haven't been able to start hormones yet so I still look like a guy on my lazy days (unfortunately I grow facial hair pretty quickly, I'd have to shave twice a day to never see a 5 o'clock shadow :/ ). When I look like a guy and I do masculine things, the world just assumes I'm a guy. I guess I'm just looking for ways to exert my femininity without "passing" all the time. I just badly want the world to see the girl within no matter what outer image I present.
      August 9, 2015 12:42 AM BST
  • I'm in much the same boat Devi. Hormones won't change your facial hair growth, that needs permanent hairremoval like lazer treatment. Remember that women come in all shapes and sizes. Be confident, let people know you are comftable in your female role, it dosent matter whether the task your doing is typically male, as Emma said women do all those things! With regards to living in role, have you changed your name/title this gives you documented evidence of living as a woman and is a good starting place. Treatment will take time. A friend recently reached the end of her physical transition. It took her four years to get there but said that she wouldn't have wanted to do it any quicker. Transitioning is not just about your physical body.
    Know that your going the right way. Be confident about who you are and enjoy it! The people who matter will accept you as you are! Xxx
      August 9, 2015 1:57 PM BST
  • Thank you Andie :) I know hormones won't stop hair growth, but won't they make the hair grow slower and come in thinner, making lazer removal more effective?
    I've never been a fan of traditional gender roles. Some of the best stylists and beauticians are men, some of the best police and doctors are women. Hell, I've always been better at doing hair and make up than most of the girls I've been with and one of the "manliest men" and the best mechanic I know is my very gay friend James. I think the only reason I sometimes get stuck on what's "girl stuff" and "guy stuff" is because for over 20 years I had no idea I was meant to be a woman. I always knew I had "girly" habits but never thought much of them and just went on being a guy. Now that I know what type of woman I should be and now that the transition is in progress I'm often a little too eager to leave my old life behind. As I said before, I badly want to world to see the lady within but it gets complicated at times because I'm a tom boy at heart and still enjoy some non traditional and unconventional things.
      August 10, 2015 12:02 PM BST