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A cis woman's view of transgender plus the latest news!

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  • Hi, I'm a 41 year old cisgender woman who's always been an admirer of transgender people. When I first became aware of transgender people (probably on Oprah way back in the day!), I immediately put myself in their/your shoes (I'm a highly empathetic person and always put myself in other people's shoes--or high heels!). What if I thought and felt the same way I do now, but I was in a man's body? I would feel disgusted, I wouldn't be able to look at myself or touch myself (ew, what's that gross "thingy!"), I would become very unhappy, even severely depressed, I'm sure. I would--hopefully--have the guts to do something about it!

    There was only one time I had a fleeting wish to be a man, and it was when I was in Army boot camp, I was on my cot and crying quietly, feet severely blistered, every muscle in my body aching...I was in one of the first co-ed basic training groups back in '94 and I overheard some of the guys talking about how us females were holding them back, that was upsetting me too...but I quickly snapped out of it and thought, ew, why would I want to be a smelly, gross guy? I mean, I'm attracted to them, but I don't want to BE one! Ew, what was I thinking?!?! Haha! I'll delve into more of my Army experience later, how there was a de-feminization of me for 6 years!

    After Lilly Wachowski recently came out (I'm a huge fan), I felt inspired to come here and share some of my past gender issues that I'm sure anyone can relate to (feeling hyper aware of my gender, not feeling womanly/feminine enough, etc) I hope you'll look forward to them...coming soon...anyway, back to of my favorite movies, The Matrix, came from the minds of WOMEN, and that makes me so proud! I was equally as proud of Margaret Sixel, George Miller's wife for winning best editing of my favorite movie of this year, Mad Max: Fury Road. Women doing "male" things better than men, arguably! Even though I'm a woman, I do tend to have more thought-of-as-male likings/tendencies: horror, action, thriller, superhero, and sci-fi movies, Converse shoes, sweat pants, not into jewelry, climbing walls and trees, you get the drift!

    I called them the Wachowski brothers...then the Wachowski siblings when Lana came out four years ago...and now the Wachowski sisters!!! Wow! What are the odds of both siblings being transgender? This post was edited by Former Member at March 15, 2016 5:25 PM GMT
      March 14, 2016 9:52 PM GMT
  • Hi Lisa, 


    I enjoyed that post, it's always interesting to see how GG's think. I have generally found them to be accepting and encouraging and if they have issues with me, as I'm sure some do, then unlike men, they have not chosen to act on them and have respected my choices. Is that because we are coming over to 'their side'? No, I don't think so. I just think women are more open minded and flexible in their approach to life. 


    I look forward to reading some more of your posts in the hopefully not too distant future. The military theme will strike a chord with many women here as many transgendered women, myself included, joined up as a way to 'man up' or try to deny ourselves, often in the mistaken belief that we could get over it. Still, that was my generation and these days the situation is far different. Thank goodness! 



    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 16, 2016 6:02 PM GMT
  • Thank you Nikki, I appreciate your thoughtful response...people seem pretty shy here so I didn't really know if I was welcome here, but your post put my worries at ease. I do think women are more accepting, especially because we can kinda relate. How many times have women felt ugly and that we look like a man? Picture me raising my hand and waving it! Me! Me! So on a smaller, minute scale, we can relate to the insecurities and the worries. Perhaps we've both felt a bit inadequate when around ultra feminine women...? I don't want to leave the FTMs out, they inspire me as well, but obviously I can personally relate to a MTFs more, as we can probably share the same cosmetics ;)

    I'm definitely going to write about my military experience of being one of the guys, then when I got out, I went to the extreme as far as needing to feel like a woman, but I also have much more to write about--how I thought I was an intersex at the age of 6, how I THINK I sat next to and did assignments and chit chatted for a whole college semester with a transgender woman, and my one experience at an LA trans nightclub in, oh, I wanna say 2001. Yeah. So I won't be one of those people who come here then disappear! I'm just getting started!
      March 16, 2016 11:36 PM GMT
  • I hope you do stay Lisa, I enjoy hearing about other people's experiences and thoughts on life, it's a great way to get to know that person too. 


    The forums are not as busy as they used to be as many seem to prefer the facebook style home page to make their comments but I can guarantee several of the girls here will definately jump in and comment on your posts. 


    Hmmm, interesting that you 'think' that you sat next to a transgendered woman. She must have gotten everything right for you not to know. For a lot of us it's the voice that is the major issue, as not matter how you look, your voice can give you away and it takes some of us a lot of work to get right. If, like me, your male voice was really deep then it's a battle you will never completely win. Still, it is possible to get a passable voice even with a deep one like mine used to be. Besides, 'husky' can really work for you! lol


    I look forward to reading more of your experiences here soon. 

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 18, 2016 6:41 PM GMT
  • Hmm, for some reason, I never got the email notification for this post, I'm just discovering it now while looking up something else.

    Husky can be great...everyone thinks Kathleen Turner's voice is sexy. And have you heard how deep Lisa Marie Presley's voice is? Hot! Miley Cyrus...well I'm a little biased because of her crazy antics of late, but she does have a nice deep voice.

    Yes, for the whole semester of a child development class, I never knew quite for sure because her voice was deep but feminine, it was more that darned forehead...there's something about male's foreheads that are more pronounced, some more than others of course...otherwise she was very confident, very femme, and super sweet. It was mostly all women in the class (well, sometimes there's one guy in a child development class) so no one even cared, if you know what I mean! And this is in Los Angeles! Even more so no one blinked an eye. Back to the forehead, I think biologically, for hundreds of thousands of years, we're hard wired to see if someone is male or female in an instant (mating reasons?), just in the same way we are not sexually attracted to our own family's pheromones, for excellent reasons. Yes, we are all just animals roaming this place called Earth!
      March 22, 2016 8:49 PM GMT
  • Yes, there is a difference in forehead shape between male and female and some take to surgery to hav this addressed. Personally, I just have a fringe/bangs, which works just as well and costs a lot less! 



    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 27, 2016 8:02 PM BST