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  • Thought I'd share a poem I wrote about myself and an old friend of mine. I think it shows why I wonder if I'm Transgender or Bigender. Any thoughts on it are appreciated. 


    What Am I?


    Here I am again tonight,


    Trying best with all my might,


    Just to feel like I'm alright.


    Looking in the mirror's such a chore,


    Because I'll never see who I am looking for.


    One moment, I'm a masculine, mischievous flirt.


    The next, I'm wishing I actually looked good in a skirt.


    My family just can't seem to understand,


    And now my best friend can't even give me a hand.


    It's all because of my jealousy, I know.


    Still, you'd return my feelings if I was a real bro.


    There are times I really do feel like an "it" ,


    but the way you talk about girls makes me prefer that ****.


    I sure do hope I fall asleep soon.


    As always, I'll probably sleep way passed noon.


    I wonder if we'll fight again tomorrow.


    Every fight we have causes me so much sorrow.


    Why can't you, of all people understand me?


    I can only hope one day you will see,


    That all I wanted was for us to be happy.


    Although I don't mean to sound so sappy.


    I guess it's getting a bit late.


    All that's left to do is sleep,


    and say goodnight to this body I hate.



    This post was edited by Kris McKinley at May 24, 2016 2:35 PM BST
      May 24, 2016 2:34 PM BST
  • Only you can figure out what/who you are. Try to envision yourself in a bubble where there are no societal rules, no religion, no family pressures, and not thinking about your past, present, or future love interests...it's just you! How do you feel? Transgender? Bigender? Still confused? It's okay to not know who you are too...that takes time, and you might not truly figure it out until you're in your 30s or 40s!

    Here's some interesting things I found. It's because your situation made me think of an episode of True Life I saw a few years ago, about a MtF wanting to transition back to M because it was easier to be a gay man and have an active dating life...but mostly you reminded me of the FtM who wanted to transition back to F...I'm not sure if she felt pressure from her unaccepting father OR if she was actually bigender...I hope it was the latter, because you never want to give in to pressure.

    The MTV episode I saw a few years ago (you may be able to watch it!) http://www.mtv.com/episodes/7wj28j/true-life-i-m-questioning-my-gender-again-season-19-ep-9

    Someone's review of the episode (they mention that her grandfather gave her great advice and said he accepted her whether she was a boy or girl! So sweet!) http://m.imdb.com/title/tt3038480/

    More comments about the show: https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2013/04/05/mtv-true-life-transgender-teens-change-their-minds-as-adults/

    Interesting reddit thread started by a FtMtF, she gets asked questions and answers them (maybe it will help you in your quest...) https://m.reddit.com/r/ainbow/comments/2dr5u8/amaa_i_am_a_trans_person_that_transitioned_back/
      May 24, 2016 5:13 PM BST
  • Had to fix these links because I'm on my mobile phone, and the links added that stupid "m" at the front of the websites! Ugh!


      May 24, 2016 5:17 PM BST
  • Hey Lisa, thanks so much for the links! I will definitely check them out. I do suspect I'll be one of those people who doesn't figure themselves out until about 30 or so lol. There was a time I thought I had split personality before I heard of bigender and bigender would explain things, but really as far as feeling like a girl... It's only .1% of the time so it feels like it might as well not be there at all. Still, it's a scary thought transitioning then regretting it later. Thanks again for the links and I hope you are having a great day. =)

      May 24, 2016 5:26 PM BST
  • You're welcome! Have a great day as well!
      May 24, 2016 5:48 PM BST
  • You're welcome! Glad to help out when I can. I may not know what it's like to be transgender/bigender, but I've been around the block and have seen/read a lot of informative things over the years. Have a great day as well!
      May 24, 2016 5:50 PM BST