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  • Topic: Feel like a fraud

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    • April 28, 2018 12:44 AM BST
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      Feel like a fraud

      Hi all. I have been a TV since I was five and love wearing women's clothes and doing what we though of as women's work for as long as I remember. However, I am not transgender and don't want or need to become a woman full time, My problem is that I have joined a woman's forum and absolutely love chatting to the girls and women there and they think I am a woman. I am not there as a Tranny but as a woman and I hate myself for lying to them although I don't or haven't made the statement that I am a GG. I love our chats and I love being a women with the but shoud I continue?

    • April 28, 2018 11:37 PM BST
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      Yes of course.  Here is the thing.  Labels.  TV, TG. m/f u.s.w.  You are you.  You are talking to people that you like to talk to.  You might not want the surgery, but there is a big part of you that is female.  As such, you like talking to other females.  This has nothing to do with whatever body parts you were born with, but is about who you are.  Forget the labels, as I said.  You are somebody who enjoys talking to women.  You get them because of who you are.  So where is the lie?  The female part of you is talking to the female part of them.  This is about being yourself and I do not feel that you are telling lies.  

       

      So with that in mind, if you need to divulge more about your situation, do it on an individual basis to people that you are thinking of meeting up with.  But at the moment you are just chatting as friends with people you will probably never meet.  So you get to explore a bit more of your female side.

       

      In short, no harm, no foul.  If you want to go face to face, then you may need to prep them first, but I think you should just enjoy it for what it is at the moment - making online friends.

       

      Hope this helps.

    • April 29, 2018 9:30 AM BST
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      Good answer, Alice.

      I'm sure there are many worse examples of "assumed identity" on the internet, Susan; your motives are not malicious.

      Having lived full time for well over a decade I wouldn't think twice about joining a woman's forum, in fact during RLE when I had just begun transition it was expected by the gender clinic that I should integrate in such ways, (which obviously is easier to do online, but it can be a good precursor).

      I agree about dropping the labels, you are who you are is all that matters, but just for the record - if you've been dressing since you were 5 and it's always been a part of you then I would suggest that you are in some way transgender. You don't need to change your body or live full-time to fulfill the feminine side of you. That part of you is all woman.

      Probably best not to arrange to meet any online acquaintances without mentioning your past though, most people would probably feel you'd misled them. But chatting online is harmless, and a great way to express your true self. Doing exactly that helped me realise who I really was and what I ultimately needed to do. It might not be such a life-changing experience for you, but if it feels good, do it.

      xx

      ____________________________________
      "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman."
    • April 29, 2018 12:33 PM BST
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      Thanks so much Lucy and Alice, that makes me feel much better. I am not on there to try and talk about dressing or clothes and to "titillate" myself, in fact most of the conversations are just about life in general and it is really great to spend time with such a lovely bunch of people. I like being on forums but the normal types involving men are usually more about scoring points off each other (political etc). This one is really gentle and nice and the people are kind to each other. I will continue to be there and share my thoughts with them.

      Also Lucy, I think you are right about me being somewhat Transgender - although I am comfortable in myself there is this other part of me that thinks differently inside and to be fair I would want to spend more of my life this way than the role I am in society as.

    • May 1, 2018 9:00 PM BST
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      Yeah.  This is all about being yourself.  Stuff society.  Be you.  Its more fun.

    • May 5, 2018 6:58 AM BST
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      I am enjoying being me now thanks so much Alice x

      This post was edited by Susan Zed at May 5, 2018 7:00 AM BST

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