I guess the right attitude of a mother towards her transdaughter would be let her live her life. Give her support, but don´t exaggerate.
My mom is the other extreme. She didn´t want to see me as I was a "man", now even less. Anyway...I got a small x-mas present from her. But still she cannot write my name on it. Just a L.
And that hurts me.

Laura

No Sandra

She doesn´t want to meet me. I guess just because if she saw me she could not help but accept me. She lives in a real bad denial.

Laura

I does not get me down, because I was already ALWAYS the worse child, no matter what I did. My big sis was automatically the better child.
So, these problems with my mom don´t really come from my transitioning, they lie much deeper than that.
And there is not much I can do alone...if there is no will on her side.

Laura

What I actually think is that my mother is a passive lesbian and a man hater and she reflected her antipathies towards men on me when I was a child. And now she suffers in guilt feelings that she has caused my transitioning.

Laura

I remember well that my mom told to me and also to other people that she expected me to be a girl. She had a name ready for me, that was Katri. Now, in this situation she denies the whole story. She just sais she has never said anything like that.
That implies a certain guilt feeling.
The problem with her is that she is very dry and unemotional, not at all able to speak about feelings.

Laura

Hi Laura and Sandra nice to be back amongat you two again , Laura as for your situation with your mum, I have they same problem but not in the same strength as your's. My dad calls me J or JJ but my mum well what can i say, she starts by using J then quickly reverts back to using my dead male name. So on that side of things i can understand, but for the not seeing me thats different as she is coming round slowly.
I think it could all stem from the old way of thinking....i gave birth to a male so a male i will only accept, please dont let it spoil your Xmas......hugz Julie xx

Thanks for the welcome back Sandra, as to your point of acceptance i am affraid you are right when it boils down to it. The point you made "accept me or forget me, FOREVER" is how alot of us have to live.....not nice i know but its reality......hugz Julie xx

I'm so sorry to hear that laura,you would have thought she'd be there for you when you need her.Give your mum time,she may well come round to the idea of callin you laura one day..and i really hope she does,cos how can she be like this with someone as nice as you.Hope things work out soon honey! love and xx maria

my mum always wanted a daughter and now seems glad that she has one, much to her surprise, but i fear that with my dad i will have the same problems as you have with your mum, if not worse.
my dad is a seething mass of chauvinism and prejudice, and transexuals are never even mentioned in his house. my only hope is that when he realises this is in his own family he will at least try to think more openly about it.
one can but hope...
xx