This is my lifes story in short form, so bear with me.
Some 18 years ago I met this wonderful girl (and I say girl because she was 18 herself -damn I was only 22) We dated for a few months and things got serious , I was falling for her, and she for me. The moment of truth had to come, I wouldn't propose to her without telling her about my alter self. She was curious and wanted to see what I looked like dressed up, so I indulged her (god I was so nervous that night). She laughed and and giggled alot , but said "If this is what makes you happy, it's not a problem."
Things went well for the first few years, then....
Wow how things change, after getting married , it was like all bets were off, she would no longer let me crossdress in front of her, and if I did , an argument would ensue. With the most nastiest things said (by both of us). When we were calm one night , I asked her "why does this bother you , you knew from the start?" her reply floored me " I thought it was a stage you were going threw and you'd grow out of it". What a moron I was,I wasted 18 years of my life , with a woman that I loved, but who really didn't love me, or love me for who I truely was. Well to end this sad story,she "outed me" to all my friends and family, she took custody of our young son ,and I moved out.
On the brite side of this story (there's always a brite side) my son left her and moved in with me, he has absolutly no problem of Dad bein a crossdresser. We moved to a new city and started a new life, and are very happy. And as to my family finding out, it seems they knew since I was 5 and they didn't care, actually got really mad at her for doing what she was trying to do, come between me and my family( shrug- guess family will often surprize you)
Thank you all for listening
Amanda K. Blair

Sorry to hear how things turned out with your wife hun, but what an end to your story. Its nice to hear story's have a happy ending, if painful along the way......hugz Julie zz

Thank you all girls...I nice words, as for Tiina Tamsalu ...
read - Please Help! I Love My Tranny Husband!(http://gendersociety.com/perl/community/cforums.cgi?postid=9990156930531&threadid=9990156930531&action=messages&forumid=9940124245322&)
Here's an example of a woman that does care, and very much...they are just few and far between. But take heart , and take a change- Old Will said it best "It is better to have loved and lost , than to have never loved at all"
Amanda

hey - I guess my SO is unusual - she has grown to accept me -she even helps with make-up best she can ( she's sight impared)but not blind. She likes me to dress and gives her opinion when asked. She now wants me to work on my voice - eh! I sound like Minnie Mouse when I try. Hope I'm not the exception.
lol Jillian

Do SO's reveal this secret to their close friends or relatives? I'm dating this girl, and she knows my friend's wife. I'm afraid she just might reveal it, and soon my guy friends will know too.

I mean I could tell her not to tell, but you know how it is... people sometimes say one thing, but later on do another anyway.

Hi Amanda,
Unlike you I did not tell my wife until just after 9 years of marriage. It's been almost a year now since I told her. It has caused quite a few fights, some nasty, to which you can relate. My immediate family doesn't know. I know this because I have a very vindicative younger sister who always pried into my private life. If she knew she would have outed me. My wife has threatened to do so on a few occasions. At times, though, we can talk, and even joke, about it. She thinks I can make it "go away" with therapy. No chance of that. I don't want to let it go. Good luck with your life. Love, Meredith

Tiina, you are right in remembering that. She did say that she wished she knew right from the start, and that had she knew it might have affected, or altered, us getting together. She would have insisted on therapy back then. I don't think she'll ever really accept it, but she is becoming a bit more understanding. We do joke about it from time to time.

In my experience it depends how the relationship ended. My girlfriends never told a soul but my ex wife started telling a few people.

I decided to not let her have all the fun and outed myself. Noone was bothered and noone treated me any different. It was very positive move for me. Don't let fear of discovery tie your hands.

Nikki

On the other hand Anne, TS's often want to go all the way and lose their male persona completely so unless their wives are lesbian or at least happy to live with another girl as a couple, the relationship can be doomed. CD's tend to like being able to switch persona's and are therefore less likely to want to finish a relationship because of their transgenderism.

It's very different for each of us and we can only do what is right for ourselves and our relationships, and not necessarily copy what works for someone else.

This is a difficult, (but very fun), life.

Nikki