On another forum, I have been observing (and not directly participating in) a terrible personal flame war which, thankfully, finally came to a head and I hope will now stop.

Since flame wars seem to be so common on forums and newsgroups, I was wondering what it is about us that seems to make us relatively immune to the phenomenon. I can't remember ever having seen a serious flame war here (but I don't examine every part of the message board, so I could have missed one).

Perhaps Katie keeps a close eye on things and stops them before they get going. If so, I commend her for her vigilance.

Are we just a bunch of nice ladies here who don't get really mad at each other? Does anyone have any theories about this?

I hope that by bringing up this topic I don't start one! If I do, Katie, please delete this entire thread at once!

Heather Harrison

You will see a few flames occasionally in the politics forum, certainly before and after the election here. But if yo bring up subjects like religion and politics most anywhere you will get the flames shooting. What I have noticed that most don't hold a grudge and can still be very civil to each other in the other forums. It really is a nice group of women we have here.

I too have seen serious arguments here, but things seem to remain civil. People agree to disagree and remain friends.

This is nothing compared to what I have seen elsewhere: base and ridiculous personal attacks, an aggressor following the victim around to all the threads in which he or she has posted and taking the war everywhere, and the victim fighting back in the same way.

I am glad we don't get into that crap here and I hope we never do. I can't stand that sort of conflict.

By the way, we also don't seem to attract too many trolls. This surprises me; I would think they would find us an attractive target. I have seen a few every now and then, but they seem to vanish quickly.

Heather Harrison

i think it may have to do with the two rules of the "Sisters of St trannyweb"
but seriously as noted above I have observed that when a disagreement occurs here , it is debated in a very diplomatic fashion and personal attacks are very rare, although there was the one time when a very young person on hormones for like a week, decided to deride a crossdresser as a "faker" , I saw some very sharp talons flashed very quickly . but it was an isolated incident.

All of these hypotheses make sense to me. I guess we are just a rather civilized group which would be boring to the flamers and the trolls (and that is a very good thing).

I will throw out another idea. I wonder if, because so many of us have faced trouble and ridicule elsewhere in life, we are bound and determined to keep this a safe and civil place.

I think other Internet forums could learn a lot from us.

Fortunately, in the other forum where I have been observing a terrible flame war, it finally blew up to the point that the members and administrators wouldn't tolerate it anymore, and it seems to be fizzling out.

Heather Harrison

what if they held a flame war and nobody came....

and to think me had just warmed the plasma cannon up...

I was a member of several other forums before finding trannyweb & also noticed a lot of bitchiness. I dont know why this doesnt happen here but im sure glad it doesnt! You are the most friendly understanding bunch ive come across & have helped me personally so much!
Thanks!
love angel xxx

Hi Mere, Tiina and Kendra,

After the posts about Kendra's Black dress, I'm curious.
What does it actually look like?

As for the No Flame wars, TW seems to be unique. Perhaps
our shared desire to have a safe community , free from the
real worlds prejudices, has guided our discussions.

Now for a really important question-
Who has shoes to match Kendra's dress?

Hugz,
Michelle Lynn

Ive visit quite a few T girl related forums and i know what you mean about flame wars. It makes me laugh some of the time...If these people want to be or pretend to be girls then for god sake act like it. If real girls behaved like some then i dont suppose Sainsburys would be a safe place to shop anymore ..all that fighting and hair pulling by the bread and cakes.
It dont happen it real life why let it happen here.
Hands up who wants to be percieved as a real girl when dressed?.
I think thats everyone?

In saying that sometimes there aint nothing like a real tear up ..but in a freindly kind of way.
So kendra you wardrobe may not be safe anymore

So this is all we can manage for a flame war!

No one, and I mean no one, is getting into MY wardrobe!

Heather Harrison

A flame war? Like the time me, Tiina and Christina tried to use a blow torch to break into Kendra's closet and wound up setting fire to her sofa?

Actually, we do get testy with each other from time to time, and tempers have flared. More than once I was certainly terse. I've seen a few arguments, which is going to happen whenever there is a regular group of friends. I've seen nasty comments in the blogs. But as for why there isn't a particular "war," I don't know. Maybe it's because we have better things to do.

Perhaps our social structure discourages such behavior. A Troll get's ignored or told off in a ladylike manner...or both. No fun there...so they leave.

I think most of us realize that outrageous behavior will make the aggressor persona au gratin and nobody wants to be boiled in hot cheese by their sisters. We expect and enforce, by our responses, a civil environment. We have so much to offer here that nobody wants to be sent to Coventry and therefore lose so much. Most of us, I think, get mad in a ladylike way and don't engage in name-calling....most of us. Those that don't, get the message quickly; directly or by silence.

It's not that we don't get a bit wild or naughty at times, but it does not seem to often progress into direct acts of hostility. Even those who are not currently well-liked get community protection from such behavior. We protect the community, not individuals. I think that is the key.

Hi Heather-

I think part of the reason we don't have major nuclear, scorched earth, accept no quarter flame wars here is that even when discussions get very intense and impassioned we mostly avoid personal attack. Points of view, arguments, ideas, stances on an issue are savaged but hardly ever does it get to a point where the people involved engage in name calling and personally derogatory comments. Not that it never happens, but it doesn't seem to happen as often here as it does in some other groups.

Hmm, actually, come to think of it, none of that is a reason, just a description. To be honest, I don't know what makes us so much nicer than other groups, I guess we just are!<g> Good conduct medals all around, drinks are on Katie.

Hugs, Joni

I won't guess as to why as a group we don't realy see that here.
I've noticed that when people get realy angry here they tend to leave for a short while. They don't attack who ever made them angry. At least not not on the site or do it with out naming names. For myself I want the respect of the other people here. Tweb matters to me as do all of you.

Ah yes Godiva, long haired slapper on a horse, you see that sort of thing all the time in Coventry ..



Actually I like Coventry too, home of Basil Spence's truly wonderful Modernist masterpiece The cathederal of St Micheal in which sits the equally fab "Christ in Glory" Tapestry by Graham Sutherland (my fave painter, but better known for his wild Pembrokeshire landscapes)

More impressive in the flesh as it is about 60ft high



... bit of a girly frock that hmm?

Right that's enough culture ... who's up for a slanging match??

Cerys x

i disagree, i think you're all a bunch of...
noooo i'm only joking of course, everyone here is lovely and it's a great place to be, to share, and to discuss.
"persona au gratin", i do like that!
xx

Trannyweb has always felt like more of a community than many of the other sites I have visited. I'm sure one reason for this is the emphasis placed here on support rather than it being a pick-up joint.

I'm also sure a lot of the credit for that has to go to Katie, she has a vision of the direction that the site should take but manages to steer things with a lightness of touch that others could learn from.

I'd be cheeky if I said that the large number of UK girls probably aids that atmosphere as were just a "jolly civilised lot", but seriously as there is a core of UK girls who actually get to see each other on a regular basis I'm sure that helps; as it's one thing to slag off someone who is just an anonymous cyber persona (cheesy or otherwise) but much harder to be rude to someone that you may come face to face with next week!

Cerys xx
(Black pepper on that Gratin?)

Hehehehehe..........no wardrobe is safe from Meredith the Psycho Ninja.............

Glad to hear it, Angel! That's one of the reasons I stay here, too. Some years back I was on this one non-TG forum for Anarchists, and all they did was fight with each other. I left.

Hey, how would you like to be part of the "Get Kendra's Black Dress Conspiracy?" Hehehehehehe