July 12, 2005 3:29 PM BST
I was never able to resolve my differences with my father over merely trying to get ordinary respect, as a male, from him. Years after his death I remain angry at him for what he did to me, including forcing me to be "male", but his importance in my life has faded to the nothingness it deserves. He was a pathetic, sad man. His opinion was of no importance in retrospect. You can choose your friends, but not your family. You can choose to cut off family members who are not up to your standards of friends. I did. It was a good move that decreased my pain and now adds to my self-respect.