Hello everyone, my name is Leah and I am in a relationship with a CD. I have loads of questions and so far everyone I've met has been very helpful...I LOVE THIS SITE!!!

She has been dressing since quite young and very few people know about it. I feel privileged that she chose to include me in her life as I think that she is an amazing person (dressed or not).
Here is where the problem lies: She is flabbergasted and says I'm "weird" for not having a problem with her dressing. I help her pick out outfits and do her makeup and still she lacks the self confidence that she needs to be the best and most beautiful HER that she can be.

I need advice on how to help her as I'm quite serious about making this relationship work, even if it only turns out to be a life-long friendship...I want her to know that I'm here for her and support her.

Any help would be greatly appreciated...and yes, I have emailed this site to her....oh the drama when she finds out I'm a member *shudder*

Thanks for everything so far!!
Best Regards,
Leah

hia Leah,
i'm on the other end hon, i have a SO who is so understanding, i think you are on the right track alright, I wasn't sure myself how to accept her support, then she said "well isn't that what every girl wants, a partner that thinks like girl's do!!.....i was blown away hon, really it hadn't crossed my mind, i thought the world (inc girls) would hate me, yet the most encouraging thing was the support from her good self (hi sacha xxx), and other female friends!
yes they had lots of questions i couldn't answer, but they were basically "up for it"......and could see it, some even mentioned that they knew there was something about me, and it made perfect sense to them..... It took me a while to get to grips with this because i expected ridicule and contempt, instead i was embraced with open arms . i personally found it hard to get the paranoia out of my system (maybe it never quite goes), but once i was convinced they were genuine , i became more genuine myself.
your support is undoubtably highly valued, but trust is the key, just as your gg friends value your trust and confidence so will she, and from a girl like you it will hit the mark, she may take a little while, and to let you help her involves loads of trust , even with a SO. i've felt like a girl as long as i can remember, and tried to be one (without knowing it too) since the age of about 9, to take that sort of history and the knocks it can give needs a little time to sort out, and now i'm much happier..

love and light, your doing alright,
xxx

Leah,

Good to make your aquaintance today in the chatroom. You have come to the right place for advice and help, don't be afraid to ask questions or for help as there's bound to be someone with experience to share.

As someone with a not so understanding other half al I can say is take things slowly and talk to your partner about how you really feel, honesty really is the best policy in this. I can understand how she feels as we all think that everyone is going to be disgusted and shun us, so when they aren't it takes a little getting used to. Give her friendship, support and time and the fact you really are honoured she has confided in you will sink in, then work on becoming the best girlfriends you can be.

Perhaps the best thing to do is take her out for dinner and let her know exactly how you feel about her as a person, and how you feel about the whole dressing issue. Doing this on a neutral ground often helps the message get through better. Plus if reinforces the fact you like them for who they are not what they are.

Anytime you need a chator a sounding board feel free to contact me.

Alex
xxxx

Hi Leah
You are certainly not weird for accepting this part of her. If she really believes that then she probably also thinks that she is weird for being this way. She isn't. Lots of people are this way inclined and I personally believe it is biologically determined; we are born this way, a product of nature, therefore it is natural, not weird Maybe she just needs to lose any feelings of guilt, and/or stop thinking that there is something wrong with her.
It’s really lovely for all of us here to see someone like you who is so open minded and accepting, so you are of course most welcome, as your friend will be if she chooses to join. Keep being supportive, helping her with make up and stuff, and I’m sure her confidence will grow.
It sounds like you’re both lucky to have found each other, have fun!
xx