My daughter told me yesterday that she and her boyfriend are planning their wedding for next August. I´m happy for them, but at the same time I´m afraid of that day. I must sit there among my family and my ex´s family, most of them have never seen me as a woman. The bridal couple are now trying to carefully tell to the broom´s parents that the bride´s father is a woman. And if you add to this soup that I must face my hostile ex there the day can turn into a horror movie.
The only bright side is that the D-day is still far away...

Laura

The last time I met my ex was at the lawyer´s office. She greeted me: "Hi, you look like a variksenpelätin" (the man-looking puppet you put on the field to frighten birds away).
I just answered "Jee, thanks".
I think she cannot get rid of her idea of me "ruining our marriage" and now I´m going to "spoil our daughter´s wedding". So, whatever happens and how mean she is, it will be always my fault, because "I started this game".
I will behave ladylike, of course and I know I can manage the day. But as Tiina said it would be a great topic for a movie.



Laura

Hi Laura-

I think this is one among many situations that anyone who transitions will have to face in their lives unless they choose to cut themselves off from family and friends. We are social creatures and thses rites of passage are important milestones in which we must participate.

Fortunately, it seems your daughter and her fiance actively want your presence and that's all that really matters. As far as how others handle it, that's up to them, my guess is it will run the gamut from some coming up to you and being courteous and friendly to indifference to the cold shoulder. I really can't imagine anyone so rude as to ruin the bride's happy day by being openly confrontative and hostile.

The only thing you really have control over is how you conduct yourself and I'm sure you will do so in your usual manner, with concern for the feelings of others, just as you do here on TW. To be honest, if it were me, while I might have some worries about it, I would just buy a nice new outfit to wear and go and have a good time at a festive and joyous occasion. Let others deal with it how they will.

And congratulations to your dauighter and her fiance, my best wishes to them both.

Hugs...Joni