Last friday I was again in the swimming hall after job. I enjoyed my swim and sauna with other ladies and girls and was welcomed with a smile by others.
Everything is okay...and still I have an irrational fear deep inside that I "get caught". Totally nonsense and probably it faints with the time. No-one of the girls gave me a second look, not in the pool, nor showers, sauna or lockers.
And yet, when in the pool, seeing the guard lady rushing into the ladies´shower room, I played with the thought, someone has given an alarm because of me. Of course that was not the case and I sat peacefully with other girls in the sauna. By the way, the difference between gentlemens´and ladies´sauna is simple: girls ask others if they may throw water on the hot stones, men just throw without asking.


Laura

Certainly does sound nice, even with that residue of fear... which surely must be irrational. What could possibly be "discovered" ?
Can only hope I'll succeed in making things turn out that well. I love swimming and I'll do what I can to keep it. (even been thinking of buying myself a wetsuit for the stay in the "middle"...)
After one month on only 50mg estradiol patches not that much has happened of course, but I'm certainly growing more apprehensive. Mentally I'm already heading for the exit at the men's side, wondering when I just have to get out for good. With no swimming pool for quite some time. And maybe a couple of other small problems...
Funny thing though - I can't help laughing - contemptously, I admit - when thinking of the squareheaded conception of the RLT. I asked at our clinic what was the specifically "real" about it. The answer: "Well, everyone, everywhere, is supposed to know which gender you identify with". My reply: "I see...", and in my mind I saw... the men's locker room at the public bath, the boys locker room in my childhood, and the nudist beach... my countless stays there, always alone, completely invisible, beyond despair, on the other side of this warm and somehow living body... Not excactly sure how anyone could solve this dilemma without female hormones.

XX

...never could throw water at the sauna oven without asking
...story of my life, somehow.