For those who are new to a relationship, I think that being honest is the best way forward, although I also realize that it's too late for many.

Perhaps I have just been been lucky.  When I first met the girl who will soon be my wife, I remember teling her that I had some 'pink bits'.

I knew then, that if she walked out on me then, it would be for the best, because I would then not have to endure a whole lifetime of secrecy and deception.

Luckily, she calmly said she understood and she's stayed with me ever since.  We've been together for a couple of  years now, and she regularly comes out with me when I am dressed en-femme.

We have no secrets and that gives me a far less stressful life.

I know this advice is not for everyone, but I hope it helps some make the right decision.

Femmy

I suffered a real tough divorce because I didn't tell my ex-wife about what I am, she found a picture of me dressed up and asked me about it. I paniced and said it was nothing, I was just messing about, a HUGE lie but I was worried she might leave me if I told her the truth. She left anyway in the end as the strain grew too much for both of us.

When I met my current GF I was going through a difficult period and was dressing quite regularly, as I found it comfortable and relaxing. In the early days of seeing her I didn't say anything and carried on. After a while I realised that I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. How did that fit in with my female persona? I tried to stop for both of us but couldn't. Eventually I made the decision to tell her about my dressing and my female side.

I won't say it was easy or that there haven't been problems down the road but we have discussed things and worked out rules and compromises. She accepts it is part of me and lets me dress as often as I won't as long as she doesn't see me. I get to go away for girlie weekends every now and then and she gets to borrow my make up from time to time.

Honesty is very much the best policy. If your partner truly loves you then they will stick by you. If you are really lucky they might become really involved in that side of your life, but acceptance is all we can ask for, anything else is a bonus.

But tell your partner for yourself and for no other reason. You are the only person who really knows your partner and can have any idea as to how they might react.

I must admit that my wife finding out about Tina was probably the best thing that happened to us in the last 10 years. It has strengthened our relationship in many ways and has, for me, opened up a whole new existance.

However I do not know what I wuld have done if my wife had rejected me and had totally frozen Tina out of her life.

I've been married for over 10 years now. I know my wife very well and I know she would just die if I told her about my girly self. So this has to stay a secret at home. I'm hoping I can find an outlet via the web, and occasional opportunities to dress and go out. Maybe there will be an opportunity to meet other girls away from home sometime. What would be really difficult is if the impulse to dress (which is growing all the time) becomes too strong to hide.

I certainly agree that the start of a relationship is the best time to come clean. But for many of us the need to be open wasn't there when we started.

It's quite lonely sometimes being like this.

Hugs
Catherine xxx