Hi everyone-I'm new here I only joined yesterday,I do hope that I will be welcome here.Thought I'd tell you a little about me-I'll try to keep it brief and not bore you all to much.I'm 47 married with 3 children.Since I was about 9 or 10 I have dreamed of being female.During my teenage years these feelings continued,I would dress in my sisters clothes every so often.My parents are both very homophobic and even worse to those who are gender disphoric.I had no one who I could talk to about how I felt and was very frightened about being found out.This led me to hide my true feelings about myself.During my 20's I still had these feelings of wanting to be female but I also started to do more "manly" things-I would go out drinking most nights,I played football at weekends.I had also stopped dressing on those odd occassions altogether.I got married when I was 30.By this time my wish or dream or whatever of wanting to be female were still there but not no where near as strong as in my earlier years.I kept these feelings to myself and did not tell my wife of them.Moving on about 18 months ago the feeling of wanting to be female grew stronger again.These feelings I have always kept surpressed and now I became confused and scared again.Although,I have had always had these feelings of wanting to be female,the thought of actually taking steps to become one has frightened me even further,I have not been or do I ever think that I will be brave enough to do so.As I was saying about 18 months ago I joined another Tv?Ts site,not as myself but as a Ts girl who was going through the transition.Yes I now know that it was wrong to do so for a no. of reasons,but for me it was the only release I could get about how I felt.One night my wife found some litrature that I had printed off and had left out-not intentially on my part.My wife kept it to herself for a few days,then she confronted me with the print out wanting to know what was going on.I told my wife all about myself and how I have felt over all these years.I can only say she was little ok about it she felt most of the emotions,upset, frightened,hurt, jealous,sad etc. While I felt frightened,but mostly relieved as I was finally talking to someone about how I felt.We have both talked a lot,my wife has found this a little hard to deal with so she started seeing a councellor,I have been along to the last 4 sessions with her.The councelling I have found has been a really great help not just to my wife but to me.All the emotions and feelings that I have kept hidden all these years can at last be freed.The councelling has worked in other areas too.I still wish that I was female,but as I said earlier to do so frightens me even more,plus I know I have so much to lose.Life for me at the moment is now even better that my wife knows.I hope I haven't waffled on too much.Thanks for listening,Peter.

Hi girls-not been here for a while,apologies for that.I posted the above a few months back now and things have moved on a little.My wife and I are still seeing the councellor,which is helping both of us a great deal.The reason for my writing this post is that at last nights councelling the councellor said something that frightens me.She said that I must stop re-pressing my feminine side and my femininity and find a way to bring it out into the open,or as she sees it,if I keep repressing these feelings that ultimately it will lead to the break up of my marriage to my wife.While my wife and me agree 100% with what the councellor says,the thought of bringing or expressing my femininity scares me to pieces.You would have thought and so would I that I would feel relieved and happy at that thought.Because I have repressed my feminine feelings for so long,I'm not sure how to express them.I would very appreciate your views and advice only at the moment my thoughts are feelings are all over the place,thank you,love Peter.

Wow! That was ready to all come out wasn't it? Peter, I really wish you well and I hope that you and your loved one can work through this successfully. I didn't come out until after my marriage broke up, although I've been dressing for as long as I can remember. I've always envied those in our tg community who have the support and love of a partner.
Look after her, she is your best friend and try as much as possible to work together whilst still attending to both your individual needs. There will, no doubt have to be compromises on both sides but I'm sure it will be worth it.
Damn!! You've made Jen be serious for a while!!! Well done!!!
Take care,
Hugs 'n stuff,
Jenny xxxx

Welcome to T-Web Peter.

Your story is the same as many others on here so you should find people to talk with who are going through the same troubles.
Well done with your wife, i hope the councilling goes well and things can still be fine between you both.
Stay Happy ...

Peter,

Hiya and welcome to TW. Sounds like you're in for some interesting times now. Lots of great people here to talk to and great advice and info in the forums! Hope to get to talk to you!

~Valerie xx

Hello girls-apologies for taking a little while to reply.I would really love to thank you for welcoming me to TW and for all your kind words and support.I guess I don't really need to say how much it means to me to at last be able to talk to people like myself.I hope to chat to some of you girls real soon,once again thank you all.Big hugs Peter,xx

Peter,

Welcome, come jump in and talk away! We don't bite! ( very hard anyways LOL ) Glad to see you here

~Valerie

Peter, about all I can say is that This Is The Place To Be.Welcome hun.

Hi every one I added a follow up to the post above,but I think I put it in the wrong place,soory.

Hi Peter
Welcome to Tweb. Sounds like your just starting a new phase in life. It's nice to hear your wife is in counciling together. You can find tons of info in the forums from past to present or just ask a question.
But most of all learn to injoy yourself here. Lot of great people to talk with.

Hello Peter and welcome to Trannyweb. Your story is quite touching, and not at all boring! I hope your wife stands by you now that she knows the truth. It’s good to finally be able to talk about something like this after so many years of bottling it up inside.
xx

Hello Peter, and welcome to Trannyweb.

Like Lucy said, your story is not boring at all. We're here to listen and to help. You couldn't ask for a better set of friends than the ones who are here.

Welcome, and good luck.

Mere

John,

Welcome to TW. Clearly you are transgendered and possibly transexual. You know it and being alone with it is awful. There is no obligation to have surgery, hormones or even to dress en femme. You have to find your comfort level, not somebody else's. We have more "flavors" than Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream Parlors. It's fantastic that your wife and you are in counselling. You both could not have made a wiser decision. They can't tell you what is right for you, but they can help you learn to deal with your feelings and relationship and find your own way. You may find your feelings shift over time. This is normal. Often this is an intensification of the femme feelings as you get to know your true self. It is not obligatory. You will probably feel quite lucky about your situation, as time goes on. Being CD/TG/TS is no picnic, but it doesn't have to be a disaster for you. It can even prove to be beneficial to your life to find and accept that part of you...at last.

I think you did a great job of explaining your situation and I think you are dealing with it very well. Good Luck. Welcome to the Sorority.