September 22, 2007 1:51 PM BST
Hello Mere,
It's been a long while since I was here. I lost everything to do with this site *until* a prospective employer found my entire post here about my personal life by searching my name on the net
And the outcome was not good.
Thank you for your input on my situation which still exsists BTW. In answer to your questions, Yes to all of them. I have tried everything you have mentioned. And the Fact that I am still Here Loving this person you would think would speak loudly for my intentions and committment....and yet things remain the same in most ways. One that it does not is that I have totally let go of physical intimacy with my partner some time ago. I simply cannot will not risk my physical health. This hurts very much to have had to do....but it's better then the alternative should he contract something and pass it on to me. Otherwise things here are mostly the same :/ This does pretty much leave a big whole in my Life and his regarding me....but he doesn't want to talk about that....so we don't for now. When he is out of school things are going to be different, as I have set goals for myself.
We get along well in most things in Life and have a lot in common and most of the same interests. But he cannot bare to be Honest, preferring instead to believe the parts he cannot deal with will simply go away. And I cannot bare to be anything but Honest....though there's much I don't say right now. And the bandaid of denial just does not work for me at all.
In order to have a conversation with anyone everyone needs to be willing and able to be Honest. One simply cannot have a conversation with someone who will not be Honest. Whats the point of hearing more lies? Nothing can get fixed like that.
Love and Blessings to All ~ Suni
March 26, 2006 3:03 PM BST
Hi Suni,
If you need a community, this is the place. We really do need more SOs here. There are several and they will have plenty to offer you.
I can understand your feelings. You do feel lied to, and, in many ways, you were. I kept my transgenderism hidden from everyone for years. But this is not about me. This is about you.
I think I need to know your SO a lot better before saying anything. I see some dangerous behavior here. First of all, I hope your SO is using protection when running around with other people. You don't deserve this person giving you any diseases. I also think it is wrong for your SO to have affairs behind your back. If you have a prior agreement, then that's between you two, but this is a clear case of cheating, and that's wrong. I don't know your partner, so I won't say anything personally there. However, I do see some self-centeredness on his/her part. While I hid my being TG from my wife, I never ran around on her.
Have you tried a long, serious talk with this person? Have you tried to sit down and get some information? How have you tried to communicate about this? Have you told this person that you need honesty? I don't see very much going on.
I hope this all works out for you.
Mere
September 22, 2007 3:34 PM BST
I was sorry to read about your potential employer Suni. However, if that was his attitude then perhaps you are better off.
Also, there is no need to use your real name. You can easily change the name that people see around the site by going to your "Edit your profile" page here:
http://gendersociety.com/[...]ile.cgi
Hope that helps.
Hugs,
Katie x