Hi everyone,

Once a singleton with my own place to live, the desire/need to morph was fully realised and life was full all sorts of pleasures.....!
Sister Sammy more all less vanished, along with 99% of her apparel, her best bumpers and her flowing locks, with the appearance of my SO.
Being hetro (jaffa ye not) there are more than two of us in this relationship now. Although Sammy has come out of the little cufflink box at the back of the wardrobe. How could I even broach the cd/tv subject. Especially as Mr Drab denied being that way inclined, not just once but at least three times over a ten year period.
I've peeked at some the 'girls' touching tales and have agreed with 'Drab' that the small persons should not be told, but I'm struggling with the SO question. Should Sammy make a mistake, leave something lying around or TW's address on the pc or even keep bluffing. Or should she go for the smack between the eyes (not sure if 'Drab' is brave enough for that one).
I realise everyone is different, Drabs and their SO's and from what I've observed in the 'community' all the 'girls' have their unique qualities. I think what I'm trying to say is with your support / suggestions / experiences Sammy will be able to blossom in some shape or form and not wither and die again.

Thanking you all in advance,

Luvs & Hugs Sammy xx

Thank you for your responses, believe me they are appreciated.
Even though I promised myself I would try and walk before I could run, I'm finding it hard. All your words of wisdom are helping me to keep things in perspective. Slowly, slowly catch ye TV, I think will be the best course of action.

Thanx again, and Mere, no more '' ok.

Feel free to e-mail, Luvs & Hugs, Sammy xx

Sammy.....with regards to your SO, i reckon the best thing to do would probably be if you sat her down & told her the truth. It may well be a shock to her but she'll respect you for being open & up-front with her.As for the bluffing bit, the more you do it the harder it'll make things for you when you finally do decide to tell her.Thats just my honest opinion hun, at the end of the day this is a decision only YOU & no-one else can make.I really do wish you all the luck in the world.


Love & xxxxxxxx Anna-Marie

Why do you keep putting the word 'girls' in marks like that?

I don't know the best course of action for you to pursue. It's obvious this is eating you up inside. I don't know your SO, therefore I can't say how to approach it with this person. Maybe test the waters a little by approaching the TG topic from a neutral standpoint.

You need to embrace who you are and do something about it.

I favor the "prepare her a bit first" approach. My experience has been that someone who understands GLBT issues intellectually is better prepared to understand them personally. Movies with a TG theme, especially ones with a very human presentation, can be particularly effective with some SO's. TO WONG FU.... is a good example of a safe TG comedy. BIRDCAGE. TRANSAMERICA is a bit more the "just before you tell her" movie, unless she suggests it. I also believe in having clear, simple written material available because coming out is an emotional time and we may not be at our best telling the other person verbally. In addition, some people just do better reading information quietly when they are calmer.

I do NOT recommend the "leaving a piece of girl clothing lying around" approach. It tends to elicit a "The Son of a Bitch is cheating on me" reaction that will leave you explaining to an angry partner about "Her". No, better to tell her when she is calm, happy and you have shown your loving side prior to it. A good session of passionate and warmly-loving sex won't hurt, as it will quell fears of your being gay and her losing her partner. She is going to have fears, anger at deception, uncertainty...her reality is going to have been tipped on it's side. Understand that and just let her express her fears. Don't try to "fix" them. Time and understanding will do that. Your understanding and and letting her vent her feelings are what she will need.